Long-winded rebel, reporting for duty

[DarthSnuggles]

Hi everyone! I'm new around here, it's nice to meet you.

 

A little bit of introduction/background on where I'm starting this journey. (Wall of text incoming.)

 

I've been overweight all my life, at least so far as I can remember—my mom swears I wasn't heavy as a child, but it certainly doesn't seem that way in my memory. In high school and even the first year or two of college, I was heavy (borderline obese), but also in pretty decent shape considering my weight. I didn't learn to drive until I was in my twenties, so I did a lot of walking and had good stamina. Once I got my car, though, all of that went out the window; I've been gaining weight steadily since then, and I mostly just gave up.

 

I've always been sedentary by nature, preferring to read, game, or just veg in front of the computer, and I have always thought of myself as one of those people who hates exercise. I've tried various things to lose weight over the years, mostly half-heartedly. The greatest degree of success that I had was about four or five years ago, when my doctor prescribed some kind of appetite-suppressant that was basically speed. I ate much less, and got into the habit of doing cardio (which amounted to about 45 minutes of Dance Dance Revolution a day, plus brisk walking between my apartment and my classes) but I still ate a lot of junk food, and while I liked the endorphin rush from my initial workouts, I also got bored very quickly. I kept to that pattern for a few months, and I did go down one or two sizes, but I hit a plateau and my doctor pretty much told me “you're not losing enough weight to justify keeping you on this drug.†It was a huge blow for me, emotionally, because he essentially told me that I wasn't working hard enough, and that failing to lose “enough†weight was my own fault. After that, I gave up entirely on regulating my eating habits and on trying to exercise.

 

Around that time, also, my father and grandmother both died within two months of each other, so I was basically apathetic to anything having to do with my own health.

 

Since I graduated in 2012, I've tired on various occasions to make healthier decisions, but it's never really “stuck†for more than a couple of weeks. Being unhealthy is just easier. The best I've managed in the last year or two was right after my boyfriend broke up with me in February—I gave up soda completely (I had been drinking three to five medium fountain drinks per week) and largely eliminated fast food from my diet (again, I'd been eating fast food, mainly McDonald's, three or four times per week). I've had slip-ups here and there, when I've been in social situations, but those are the only two things I've really managed to stick to, and I'm fairly proud of myself. I don't really crave or even enjoy those things any more, so it's been pretty easy not consume them.

 

Unfortunately, other vices have definitely risen to fill the vacuum. I realized a month or two ago that probably 60-75% of my caloric intake comes in the form of chips and bread. I was living on sandwiches, frozen French bread pizzas, frozen breaded fish, cereal, coffee and chips. Always, always chips—there would be days that I ate them with every meal. A family-sized bag of my favorite chips would last me maybe two and half days, and I usually bought more than one kind of snack food when I went grocery shopping. I was ashamed, and bitter, and angry at myself, but I also didn't do much to try to change the situation. I was in a cycle where I'd eat what I craved (carbs) and then feel guilty and disgusting, and then get angry about feeling guilty and defiantly eat more junk food.

 

I also had a lot of health issues, and absolutely no confidence. My feelings about my body have kept me from doing a lot of things that I really, really want to do, and they made my breakup even more painful because I was convinced that I was too fat and ugly to ever find someone else.

 

Two months ago, my mom sat me down while I was visiting her and told me she thought I should consider lap-band surgery. I got really upset with her, but after a lot of argument, I agreed to at least think about it, and spent a couple of hours researching various surgical weight-loss procedures. It turned out to be the wake-up call I needed, because the descriptions of the surgeries and the lifestyle changes required to make them work, plus the many, many stories of how these procedures can fail for people, were pretty horrifying to me. I figured that there HAD to be some other way, something I hadn't tried yet. I ended up finding Nerd Fitness while I was researching the Paleo diet, and I read a ton of the articles and success stories on the main site. I decided to try eating paleo for awhile, to see if it was something I could stick with, and I'm now going into my fourth week with a pretty positive attitude about the diet aspect. I'm still far from perfect about managing my diet—I gave myself a weekly “cheat day†to start out with, and I'm now looking to eliminate that or at least decrease the frequency—but I feel better about the decisions I'm making, and I've lost a few pounds and a lot of my nagging minor health problems already.

 

Before I started making changes, I never stepped on a scale or looked in mirror if I could help it. I slept 10 to 12 hours every night, but was constantly exhausted and depressed, and my blood sugar levels were all out of whack; they'd spike when I ate, only to crash and leave me almost unconscious an hour or so later. I was pre-diabetic, I'm sure, and my family has an unfortunate history of both diabetes and heart disease. I also had a plethora of digestive problems that I assumed were due to having inherited my father's tendency to Crohn's disease, but which have largely cleared up since I eliminated grain from my diet.

 

I've dropped a few pounds, I think (since I didn't weigh myself to start with, I don't know how much, but my pants are getting loose) and my energy levels are way up. I no longer experience that nasty sugar crash after I eat, and while I frequently feel hungry, I don't get weak and shaky like I used to, and it takes a lot less to fill me up. I'm also far better hydrated than I've ever been, and my chronic inflammatory headaches and back pain have improved tremendously. I've been working on becoming more active by taking daily fifteen-minute walks, did my first bodyweight workout 48 hours ago, and once I post this, I'm going to go and do my second.

 

I feel like I'm making progress, but I still have a long way to go. I'm 5'4†and I weigh 258 lbs today, a weight which is definitely NOT due to rippling muscles. I revisited Nerd Fitness because I found the site incredibly inspiring, and decided to actually join the program because while I'm enthusiastic and feel like I'm doing the right thing, I'm also worried about backsliding or hitting a plateau, and I could use a little guidance to keep leveling up. I have a decent support system in my offline life—my aunt does Atkins and wanted a diet buddy, and my mom even decided to quit smoking and start exercising a few times once she realized I was serious about getting healthy—but since everything I'm doing flies in the face of the way my friends and family “always done it,†I could use a few new friends who are more knowledgeable about where to go from here.

 

tl;dr I've been obese all my life, and I'm sick of it. I want to lose weight and improve my health while I'm still young, so that I can have a long life and (I hope) avoid the many health problems that run in my family. There are things I want to do that I've been holding back from because I'm either too self-conscious or too unhealthy to try, and that's not cool. I think I'm moving in the right direction, but I'm hoping joining the rebellion will make things clearer and more manageable. Also, I'm super long-winded. Hi.

[Hong WeiLoh]

 

 I've been working on becoming more active by taking daily fifteen-minute walks, did my first bodyweight workout 48 hours ago, and once I post this, I'm going to go and do my second.

 

From the resident expert at tl;dr: welcome. Also, good job on making a decision to better your life, and taking action to express it.

[DarthSnuggles]

From the resident expert at tl;dr: welcome. Also, good job on making a decision to better your life, and taking action to express it.

Thanks!  It's been somehow both easier and more challenging than I expected, but four weeks in I'm more enthusiastic than ever.

[Amdhiel]

/me cheers

 

Making change is difficult especially when you've reached the point of apathy. I've been there and it can be daunting. It's great to hear about how much progress that you've already made. Staying active on the boards will definitely help you. You *might* want to look into the 6 week challenge stuff. There is a group just for newbies to help them be successful. I'll be doing it .

[Elastigirl]

Impressive changes already! keep up the awesome work.

[cn3wton]

I would say focus on these things.

 

Cutting back the size of known meals. EX Last time I had chicken wings I had 20, this time I will have 18. ETC

Drinking a ton of water, and eating slower.

Adding physical activity into your routine slowly. I started by parking farther away at the grocery store/school/work/etc.

 

I lost over 100 lbs a few years back. It will happen! Don't worry about changing what you eat right now too drastically.

 

If you have any questions feel free to message me!

[DarthSnuggles]

/me cheers

 

Making change is difficult especially when you've reached the point of apathy. I've been there and it can be daunting. It's great to hear about how much progress that you've already made. Staying active on the boards will definitely help you. You *might* want to look into the 6 week challenge stuff. There is a group just for newbies to help them be successful. I'll be doing it .

 

Thanks!  I looked at the challenge forum, but it seems a little daunting right now.  I'll probably give it a shot in a few months, since I think it would be a great way to motivate myself when I have a specific habit I want to build or break, but I'd rather focus on refining what I'm already doing right now.  I have a tendency to jump into things and get way over my head, which usually causes me to give up.  :/  So it seems like slow and steady is the way to go.

[DarthSnuggles]

Impressive changes already! keep up the awesome work.

Thank you!  I'm actually a little surprised at the level of enthusiasm I've managed to maintain so far.  I keep waiting for the disillusionment to set in, but it's just not happening.  (Not that I'm complaining about that!)

[DarthSnuggles]

I would say focus on these things.

 

Cutting back the size of known meals. EX Last time I had chicken wings I had 20, this time I will have 18. ETC

Drinking a ton of water, and eating slower.

Adding physical activity into your routine slowly. I started by parking farther away at the grocery store/school/work/etc.

 

I lost over 100 lbs a few years back. It will happen! Don't worry about changing what you eat right now too drastically.

 

If you have any questions feel free to message me!

 

Thanks!  I'm super pumped about how friendly and encouraging the forums have been so far, you guys are awesome.

 

I forget if I mentioned this in my intro post, but I started eating Paleo about four weeks ago, and it's been...well, not effortless, but a lot easier than I ever expected.  I had a couple of rough moments during the first two weeks, but my family and my roommate helped me get through them, and it's been pretty smooth sailing ever since.  To start off with, I focused on making healthier choices, rather than simply reducing my portions, because trying to restrict portion size seems to stress me out more.  I still ended up eating quite a bit less than I used to, but feeling full, which is awesome.  Although I've never been a huge fan of vegetables (I don't hate them, they're just not my first choice), they definitely fill you up!  Plus, it was really nice to be not only "allowed" but encouraged to eat stuff like pork chops and steak, which I love. 

 

Actually, my difficulty over the past week hasn't been overeating, it's been undereating.  I wasn't really tracking nutrition for the first few weeks, just focusing on only eating things that were paleo-approved, but I decided this week that I was going to keep track of my carbs, fat, and protein for a few days, just to make sure I was on-target.  That led to realizing that while I was getting enough carbs and protein, I wasn't getting enough fat, and I also wasn't getting enough calories.  I've been skipping lunch most days, since I have a late breakfast and I'm out of the house all day, and I realized that since veggies and fruit have been a big part of my meals, I've only been eating about 700 calories per day, which doesn't seem healthy, and definitely could stall my fat loss.  So I had to sit down and plan to eat some more balanced meals to make sure I was getting the nutrients I needed.  I'm glad I caught that trend early--it was only a few days of poor nutrition, rather than a few months of wondering why my weight loss is stalled and I'm feeling so crappy!

[Amdhiel]

Actually, my difficulty over the past week hasn't been overeating, it's been undereating.  I wasn't really tracking nutrition for the first few weeks, just focusing on only eating things that were paleo-approved, but I decided this week that I was going to keep track of my carbs, fat, and protein for a few days, just to make sure I was on-target.  That led to realizing that while I was getting enough carbs and protein, I wasn't getting enough fat, and I also wasn't getting enough calories.  I've been skipping lunch most days, since I have a late breakfast and I'm out of the house all day, and I realized that since veggies and fruit have been a big part of my meals, I've only been eating about 700 calories per day, which doesn't seem healthy, and definitely could stall my fat loss.  So I had to sit down and plan to eat some more balanced meals to make sure I was getting the nutrients I needed.  I'm glad I caught that trend early--it was only a few days of poor nutrition, rather than a few months of wondering why my weight loss is stalled and I'm feeling so crappy!

 

I know how that goes. I struggle with never being hungry so I never want to eat. I've been working on planning ahead so that I eat 4-5 times a day.  I've been aiming for about 2k calories a day and typically only hit about 1800 even with the planning. It's surprising how long a slug of protein will keep you full. 

[Strickland5]

Welcome aboard DarthSnuggles - I see the mighty Cthulhu has shown you the way and you'll be consuming our souls for his greater glory and eternal rule in no time ... wait. ... um ...

 

 

Seriously, I had a similar wake up call and have dropped ~80lbs and kept it off. So as other have said, it can be done but it takes time. You didn't put the weight on overnight and habits take time to make & to break. 

 

Do consider the 6 week challenge again. Its as hard as you want to make it but more importantly it gives you some level of accountability to someone other than you... 

 

Either or I wish you much luck on this journey of fitness ... big thing to remember is that it is a journey not a destination.

[DarthSnuggles]

I know how that goes. I struggle with never being hungry so I never want to eat. I've been working on planning ahead so that I eat 4-5 times a day.  I've been aiming for about 2k calories a day and typically only hit about 1800 even with the planning. It's surprising how long a slug of protein will keep you full. 

Yeah, it's actually kind of amazing.  My calorie issues I think stem more from the fact that I've been binge-eating for so long that I don't really have good hunger cues.  I tend to assume that I'm not actually hungry, just bored or having a craving.  I've also been told before that it's okay to feel a little bit hungry when you first start trying to lose weight, since your stomach is still learning to adjust to being less full.  I am slowly figuring out how to tell the difference between wanting food and needing it, though; the rumbling stomach is a big clue!

[DarthSnuggles]

Welcome aboard DarthSnuggles - I see the mighty Cthulhu has shown you the way and you'll be consuming our souls for his greater glory and eternal rule in no time ... wait. ... um ...

 

 

Seriously, I had a similar wake up call and have dropped ~80lbs and kept it off. So as other have said, it can be done but it takes time. You didn't put the weight on overnight and habits take time to make & to break. 

 

Do consider the 6 week challenge again. Its as hard as you want to make it but more importantly it gives you some level of accountability to someone other than you... 

 

Either or I wish you much luck on this journey of fitness ... big thing to remember is that it is a journey not a destination.

In his house in R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.  Ia, Ia! Cthulhu f'tagn!

 

Also, thanks for the encouragement! 

[Amdhiel]

Yeah, it's actually kind of amazing.  My calorie issues I think stem more from the fact that I've been binge-eating for so long that I don't really have good hunger cues.  I tend to assume that I'm not actually hungry, just bored or having a craving.  I've also been told before that it's okay to feel a little bit hungry when you first start trying to lose weight, since your stomach is still learning to adjust to being less full.  I am slowly figuring out how to tell the difference between wanting food and needing it, though; the rumbling stomach is a big clue!

 

Again, I totally understand. As far as I can tell, my loss of hunger is due to an extended period of high stress and depression. I've been starting to occassionally actually get hungry which sometimes causes me to celebrate. It's the main reason behind why I don't complain about tracking my food and trying to plan ahead what I'm going to eat. I've learned that if I don't do it I'll end up going all day or longer without eating then when I do eat it's something silly.

 

I thinking know the difference between need and want is always a huge challenge so congrats on the progress. I hope to get back to actually being hungry regularly someday .

[DarK_RaideR]

Welcome aboard! Good to read about your first steps, I'm hoping to see your first challenge thread eventually. We'll be here to cheer you on and share knowledge. The Rebels stand united!

[Alexandrite]

I think it is great you took control of your life and won't let genetics determine your future. I look forward to seeing more of your adventure! I also love that you have inspired others around you into taking action. I'm hoping to do the same.

[DarthSnuggles]

I think it is great you took control of your life and won't let genetics determine your future. I look forward to seeing more of your adventure! I also love that you have inspired others around you into taking action. I'm hoping to do the same.

Thanks!  My family has always struggled with obesity and various health problems, so I'm really hoping to beat the odds here.  I've been nagging my mom to quit smoking for years, with no real results, but I'm cautiously optimistic this time around.  She did say that if I can stick to my goals and actually keep weight off, she'd quit for real, and she has already cut back (from 2+ packs to 13 cigarettes per day) so I'm definitely rooting for her.

 

Here's to finding success on your own quest!  "I wish you intelligence on your journey.  I would wish you luck, but it runs out."