Emontions gone haywire Advice needed!

[CajunHufflepuff]

Hello everyone.

 

So, I was doing pretty great here.  Was down 15 pounds and then my grandpa died and everything got thrown out of the window.  I kinda am at a low point and I don't know when I'm going to get back up to what I was doing.  I was doing yoga everyday and meditating and now I freak out when I get still. I can't drive without fidgeting with something.  I'm not emotionally unstable and I didn't hold any emotions in during his funeral and now for almost 2 months since he's passed.  My dog is on the verge of death and I'm on edge about it all of the time.  I feel like I just can't get motivated.  Like if I don't spend every spare second I have with her, I'll regret it once she's gone.

 

I joined a gym and thought maybe that would help but I haven't been in about a week even though I have time to go.

 

I've lost my goal, I think.  I'm not sure what I'm striving for anymore but I want to strive for something so badly.  I had some strong motivation before he passed away.  My spirit was calm and collected and I have actually happy.  With myself, with my situation and with life but I just got thrown a wake up call and it messed me up bad.

 

I think for this next challenge I'm going to just blog.  Just write down any feelings I have and at the end of it, hopefully will find motivation once again.  I want to be healthy but my wallet and my mind/spirit are not ready to be latched down to a steady path.  I need to find myself and the connection I made with the universe and my spirit before all of this happened.  Probably meditation is the best answer.  I'll start over.  I'll start from the very beginning.  I have to make time for myself right now and I'm not doing that.  When I get on my mat, I feel like I need to check on my dog to make sure she's okay.  But that time is for myself.  

 

If any of you have advice, please drop it here.

[LadyMonk]

I agree that you need to make time for yourself. But I do have a couple ideas: can you meditate in the same room as your dog? At least for now you could use her as your focus. I'm a little worried that might backfire when she does pass away, but maybe it would provide comfort that you're spending time with her while you can?

 

Also, maybe you can focus more on diet during the challenge. Are you drinking a lot of caffeine or alcohol? That could definitely add to your jitters.

 

Lastly, I recommend finding a professional grief counsellor or therapist to talk things out. 2 months is a long time to feel depressed and anxious with no respite. It worries me that you have trouble driving. Your feelings are completely valid, but they are also hurting you. I hope you can find peace soon.

[CajunHufflepuff]

Thank you LadyMonk.

 

Yes, I do drink lots of caffeine.  In the form of teas and coffees.  I'm just not supplementing that with an equivalent (or more) amount of water.

 

Meditating in the same room as Chloe sounds great.  She's a pretty calm and lazy dog so she could calm me down. 

 

I'll add that to my next challenge along with my "blogging".

[RedStone]

7 minutes ago, CajunHufflepuff said:

Thank you LadyMonk.

 

Meditating in the same room as Chloe sounds great.  She's a pretty calm and lazy dog so she could calm me down. 

 

 

What a great suggestion! In my darkest hours I had the hardest time doing anything as simple as getting up to use the restroom, let alone finding my center enough for yoga or mediation. This sounds like a beautiful way to spend time with your pup while doing something nurturing for yourself.

 

As difficult as it can be (I know I've struggled with this step in the past), I agree with @LadyMonk about seeking out a grief counselor. Even when being logical about everything that's happening, having someone to guide you to talk it out is so beneficial. My best to you <3 

[CajunHufflepuff]

Hello ~RedStone~ !  I'll take a look around my area to see if there are any accessible grief counselor's around.  

 

I'm starting school next week so I'll see if there is a resident counselor.  Normally there are.

 

Thanks to both of you!

[RedStone]

36 minutes ago, CajunHufflepuff said:

Hello ~RedStone~ !  I'll take a look around my area to see if there are any accessible grief counselor's around.  

 

I'm starting school next week so I'll see if there is a resident counselor.  Normally there are.

 

Thanks to both of you!

 

Yup, that's exactly what I did! Best of luck and keep us posted!

[LadyMonk]

Following this! I can't wait to hear updates about how it's going.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Thank you for having the courage to share that with us.

I haven't had much death in my family, so I can't really relate to that.  However, if there's one thing I do know, is that if the mind is unwell, everything else follows.  When we heal our minds, and our emotions, the body will follow.  For me, healing my mind and letting go of my stress and regrets, came up better sleep, consistency in achieving my goals, but most of all, meditation.  Sitting still with my thoughts forced me to confront the regrets of my past, and learn to accept them, as well as remember that there was nothing I could do about them.  If I had to guess, if you're freaking out while you're still, it's probably because your mind isn't ready to confront your current state of well being.  I'm not a counselor, or a psychiatrist, or anything.  I'm just telling you my perspective of what you're feeling, and how I learned to deal with my demons (well, some of them anyway).

I hope you find peace of mind in your future soon.  And thanks again for sharing.