Sloth: The Man with the Hammer

[Elastigirl]

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

And if we don't we can go outside and brawl. 

 

This might make an exciting story for Tank to tell his future kids about his wedding.

[WhiteGhost]

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I brought a dead snake home and left it on the patio for the kids to find.

 

This made me laugh and I thought to myself "now here is a man I can draw inspiration from"

 

[DJtrippyT]

1 hour ago, EricMN said:

I've been told by Southerners (from Tennessee, Alabama and Mississippi) that Texas is NOT in "the South". We need a ruling.

 

Texas may be like Florida, which is also not part of the south, but more like New Jersey with palm trees.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

11 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

 

Actual question, is Texas like the rest of the south?  I always figured it had it's own culture. 

 

No, it isn't. Now East Texas, with it's proximity to Louisiana and Arkansas, is more like traditional deep southern culture, the characteristic Texas Twang starts morphing into the southern drawl to varying degrees, but even there it's Texas before it's Southern. You still get some rednecks who talk about the confederacy (again, with increasing frequency the more east you go), but you see a lot more Texas flags than Stars n Bars. 

11 hours ago, EricMN said:

I've been told by Southerners (from Tennessee, Alabama and Mississippi) that Texas is NOT in "the South". We need a ruling.

Those Southerners are correct. Although like the US it'self, you have varying degrees of "the South." I'd Say Tennessee and Virginia, for example, have unique cultures and both are considerably different from Alabama or Mississippi. Some geographers consider Texas part of the south, some consider it part of the southwest (NM, AZ, NV). They are both right and wrong. As I indicated, Eastern TX is more southern, and Western Texas is somewhat more Southwestern, but I think West Texas has less in common with the Southwest than East Texas does with the South. We are unique, and won't let you forget it.

[ShadowLion]

To muddy the waters further, we southwesterners like to view Texas as the southernmost part of the Midwest. We'll generally grant that it is a unique region in it's own right, however. Nobody messes with Texas. :-)

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

2 hours ago, ShadowLion said:

part of the Midwest

[Jakkals]

On 7/1/2017 at 4:58 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

a dead snake 

 

And many years from now they will pull your plug in revenge.

 

 

[DJtrippyT]

I swear I don't go looking for these things, they just find me...

 

[shaar]

Sloth, your thread never fails to entertain.

 

popcorn.jpg

 

From dead snakes to monster truck shows to penis hangups to bearded women, THIS is the content that brings me back around to this site.  A+++

[ixaera]

On 6/30/2017 at 2:03 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

In Texas (at least south Texas) people order unsweet often enough restaurants keep plenty of both on hand as a matter of course. Some will only serve unsweet, but never the other way around.

 

Representing N. Texas to say it's the same. In many places (that aren't, like, BBQ restaurants) you are given unsweet and some sugar packets to make your own sweet tea, even.

[Sloth the Enduring]

*Sloth pokes his head in the fridge looking for a snack*

 

MIL: Oh, are you hungry? Have some lasagna, it's restaurant-quality frozen.

Mrs. Sloth: He can't have it, lasagna is all cheese.

MIL: it's not bad for you, it's restaurant-quality.

Mrs. S: it's all cheese. He can't eat cheese.

MIL: Well, can he have black bean soup?

Mrs. S: you made it with cream...

...

*Sloth grabs a beer head out to camper for more RX bars*

...

20 minutes later

MIL: I have lots of cereal, everyone can eat cereal.

Mrs. S: What do people put on cereal?

MIL: But everyone can eat cereal!

*Sloth grabs a beer, heads to patio*

...

20 minutes later

MIL: What about the restaurant-quality fish patties?

Mrs. S: They're Cajun-seasoned. Are you trying to blow up his ulcer.

*Sloth grabs a beer, heads to shower.*

 

 

I'll give a better update later. We're slowly starting our migration north and west to the southern most tip of the Midwest.

[Marauder]

What's with the "restaurant quality" mantra?  Does she think you just don't like her cooking?  I don't understand why people are SO uncomfortable with people that eat differently than themselves.

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 6/30/2017 at 10:51 PM, WhiteGhost said:

 

This is like China except it is all the trucks and busses (and probably more than half the cars). No joke, the first thing to wear out on most cars here is the horn.

 

 I suspect they're more gentle on the horns here. Just a couple love taps to let you know. 

 

On 7/1/2017 at 0:10 AM, Elastigirl said:

This might make an exciting story for Tank to tell his future kids about his wedding.

 

Nah, it's Texas - the Wild West, it isn't a wedding until someone brawls. 

 

On 7/1/2017 at 0:38 AM, WhiteGhost said:

This made me laugh and I thought to myself "now here is a man I can draw inspiration from"

 

 

That made me lol, like most geniuses I'm not appreciated in my own time and place. The next day I found a dead armadillo, but couldn't figure out how to get it home. 

 

On 7/1/2017 at 0:45 AM, DJtrippyT said:

 

Texas may be like Florida, which is also not part of the south, but more like New Jersey with palm trees.

 

Gotta disagree. Get away from the interstate and strip malls and Florida is heckin' weird. Like it's in its own realm of existence. 

 

On 7/1/2017 at 10:16 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

No, it isn't. Now East Texas, with it's proximity to Louisiana and Arkansas, is more like traditional deep southern culture, the characteristic Texas Twang starts morphing into the southern drawl to varying degrees, but even there it's Texas before it's Southern. You still get some rednecks who talk about the confederacy (again, with increasing frequency the more east you go), but you see a lot more Texas flags than Stars n Bars. 

Those Southerners are correct. Although like the US it'self, you have varying degrees of "the South." I'd Say Tennessee and Virginia, for example, have unique cultures and both are considerably different from Alabama or Mississippi. Some geographers consider Texas part of the south, some consider it part of the southwest (NM, AZ, NV). They are both right and wrong. As I indicated, Eastern TX is more southern, and Western Texas is somewhat more Southwestern, but I think West Texas has less in common with the Southwest than East Texas does with the South. We are unique, and won't let you forget it.

 

Good to know. I wish I was spending more time there. 

 

On 7/1/2017 at 8:35 PM, ShadowLion said:

To muddy the waters further, we southwesterners like to view Texas as the southernmost part of the Midwest. We'll generally grant that it is a unique region in it's own right, however. Nobody messes with Texas. :-)

 

On 7/1/2017 at 11:15 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

 

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. 

 

On 7/2/2017 at 4:16 PM, Jakkals said:

 

And many years from now they will pull your plug in revenge.

 

 

 

They're not the ones I'm worried about. 

 

21 hours ago, DJtrippyT said:

I swear I don't go looking for these things, they just find me...

 

 

Hah. Obviously fake news. Sloths hate yoga. 

 

7 hours ago, shaar said:

Sloth, your thread never fails to entertain.

 

popcorn.jpg

 

From dead snakes to monster truck shows to penis hangups to bearded women, THIS is the content that brings me back around to this site.  A+++

 

If my TMI is what it takes to keep you around, I'll gladly keep posting it. 

 

6 hours ago, ixaera said:

 

Representing N. Texas to say it's the same. In many places (that aren't, like, BBQ restaurants) you are given unsweet and some sugar packets to make your own sweet tea, even.

 

It just isn't the same. I think the cafes super-saturate it. 

 

4 hours ago, Marauder said:

What's with the "restaurant quality" mantra?  Does she think you just don't like her cooking?  I don't understand why people are SO uncomfortable with people that eat differently than themselves.

 

MIL hasn't actually cooked in years. Everything she eats is processed. She is so chock full of preservatives that she'll never die. 

 

She goes to what is supposedly a restaurant supplier for fancy and she's very proud of it. 

 

She gets worked up about things. Slothbelly is just something to fuss and argue about. If I stayed there much I'd develop an eating disorder. Or a drinking problem. 

[Marauder]

[Sloth the Enduring]

7/1/17 Saturday 

 

it was a good day, mostly.  We chilled in the gated community. Slothboy was super-sad because he finally figured out, or finally vocalized, that he isn't the favorite grandchild. He and I went to a nature preserve and looked for critters. We saw gator eyes, a couple of turtles, lots of frogs and birds. 

 

I went on a bike ride and saw a gator a few feet from the bike path. I tried to get a selfie, but as I was lining it up the thing jumped about 3 feet straight up, did a 180, and flew into the canal. I got caught in another thunderstorm. 

 

MILs crazy sister came over. I like her. She's the one who has to crawl up stairs because she hasn't taken care of herself. We played lots more Uno. 

 

Training - 35 mile bike ride, endurance pace. 

Eating - good but for the million liquid calories. 

Accts not balanced. 

 

7/2/17 Sunday

 

it was a good day. We took the kids to the beach. It's about a 2 hour drive each way, so it was an all-day affair. 

 

I saw a young woman take a picture of her toes in the sand and waves and then drop her phone in the ocean as she tried to post it. 

 

We met some folks on the fishing pier who spoke perfect English with a light brogue of some sort and some sort of Gaelic amongst themselves. The lady seemed to need English translated. They were super energetic and friendly. I think they were leprechauns. 

 

A seagull stole my fish sandwich right out of my hands. Then it came back and pecked my head 'cause I didn't drop the rest. Fucker. 

 

Training - no

eating - good except for liquid calories. 

Accts not balanced. 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

 

That one.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

It just isn't the same. I think the cafes super-saturate it. 

They do. Real sweet-tea (it's one word) has the sugar added when it's hot so it dissolves better. At higher temperatures the liquid can absorb more sugar than when cold.

[Yasha92]

 

That one.

 

The villain!

 

When I was 5 we never used to eat out because we couldn't afford it. We went to McDonalds on birthdays as our fancy treat. We were at McD and I was enjoying my cheeseburger when a feathered fiend swooped down and snagged the meat and cheese, leaving me with an empty bun with a smear of sauce. Very traumatic.

 

Your seagulls look different to ours, I'll have to try and nab a photo when I next stumble on a beach chicken.

[Sloth the Enduring]

7/3/17 Monday

 

It is a good day. I am at a street party at my step-MIL's. It's like King of the Hill here. I mean that in the best possible way.

 

I have been to town firework shows that have been smaller than what their cul-de-sac threw together. Also, there's a young woman here who sings like an angel and is training to be a Disney princess.

 

Life is weird.

 

Training- no - traveling day.

Eating- like crap. Drinking like a moron. Oh, we stopped at a diner in the forest. They put pulled pork right on top of the hamburger and smother it with cheese.

Accts not balanced.

[WhiteGhost]

5 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

I'll have to try and nab a photo when I next stumble on a beach chicken.

  Rats with wings

 

It was illegal to kill seagulls where I grew up, but I was sorely tempted on many occasions.*

 

*I don't actually kill animals I don't intend to eat

[Bearlee]

14 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

 

That one.

The poster for the new SyFy movie of the week, Sloth vs. Seagull.

[shaar]

15 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

It is a good day. I am at a street party at my step-MIL's. It's like King of the Hill here. I mean that in the best possible way.

 

That sounds super neato I tell ya hwhat.

 

 

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 7/3/2017 at 5:06 PM, Marauder said:

 

 

23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

They do. Real sweet-tea (it's one word) has the sugar added when it's hot so it dissolves better. At higher temperatures the liquid can absorb more sugar than when cold.

 

Science!  That explains why I can't make it right at home. 

 

22 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

 

The villain!

 

When I was 5 we never used to eat out because we couldn't afford it. We went to McDonalds on birthdays as our fancy treat. We were at McD and I was enjoying my cheeseburger when a feathered fiend swooped down and snagged the meat and cheese, leaving me with an empty bun with a smear of sauce. Very traumatic.

 

Your seagulls look different to ours, I'll have to try and nab a photo when I next stumble on a beach chicken.

 

That is a terrible story. 

 

There are quite a few species of gull around here.  I think that one is a Laughing Gull. In Minnesota we have all white Herring Gulls despite a lack of seas. When I was a kid they were restricted to Lake Superior, now they've migrated south and live on French fries in parking lots. 

 

16 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

  Rats with wings

 

It was illegal to kill seagulls where I grew up, but I was sorely tempted on many occasions.*

 

*I don't actually kill animals I don't intend to eat

 

This is my first run in with a gull, but it was enough for me to understand your temptation. 

 

9 hours ago, Bearlee said:

The poster for the new SyFy movie of the week, Sloth vs. Seagull.

 

Tjat thing was fast and mean, my money's on the gull. 

 

5 hours ago, shaar said:

 

That sounds super neato I tell ya hwhat.

 

 

 

 

It really was.  

[deftona]

3 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

now they've migrated south and live on French fries in parking lots. 

 

Given the chance, wouldn't we all?

[Sloth the Enduring]

7/4/17 Happy Ameriexit Day!

 

Mentally it's a good day, physically not so much. Slothbelly is killing me. It's dinner time and I haven't eaten yet because I'm afraid to anger it. I also woke up achey and feverish. To add insult to injury I have sun burn blisters that are oozing. 

 

We're going to chill by the pool all day. Probably going to skip fireworks. 

 

Training: 40 miles endurance pace, meant to do an easy 20, but got wicked lost. 

Eating: none. 

Accts: still not dealt with.