Is it possible not to be rebel material?

[UmbrellaFrog]

Hello, I'm a frog and I don't feel like I can be a hero. This is me:

In short, I'm really good at collecting underpants (love the image!) and very bad at getting to phase 2. I'm also already set to fail the objectives in the second picture.

I'm also making this thread when I should be in the gym, cardioing away.

These days, I seem to be unable of keeping motivated for more than one or two days. It wasn't always like this - I was once able to keep to a workout and diet plan for over a year and lose 75 pounds. Then I moved away from my gym, started a stressful job, and gained half of it back in no time. And now, even though I keep telling myself I really want to be thinner, fit in my old trousers, dress up as whatever characters, and *most of all* get rid of my binge eating habit, I just can't. Since January I've trained for the Couch-to-5K plan, read Dieting for Dummies, joined another gym, started doing the beginner bodyweight workout twice a week... and gained another ten pounds. My weight graph looks like a spiky rollercoaster.

"You can do it!" you will say. "Get away from the Matrix and free your inner Neo!" ...But I'm not Neo, I want to answer, or Batman or whoever. I just feel like a poor, innocent bystander. I'm not sure I even want to be a hero. I just want to be able to live my life in peace without obsessing about my body. I also want to finish my blasted PhD dissertation, and possibly make a webcomic that'll run for more than two days.

In short:

- I'm about 15 kilos/35 pounds overweight, and I wish I wasn't, because I don't feel like myself this way.

- I am *lousy* at productivity. I have no willpower.

- I suffer from serious binge eating disorder. On Monday evening I went to buy some bread to have something to eat for breakfast on Tuesday; I came home with a pack of milk buns, a pack of almonds and a pack of delicious coconut cookies. Which I then proceeded to eat all in one sitting (except the almonds, which I finished on Tuesday night).

- I feel tired all the time, whether it's because of my anti-anxiety pills or because I'm not eating properly, I dunno, but many a day that was supposed to be productive was ruined because I slept until 11 AM or felt an urge to nap in the middle of the day and then spent half the afternoon dozing. Cue the "What the Hell" effect.

- I keep spamming my poor, unwilling Facebook friends about my efforts in the hope that it'll give me some accountability, but so far it hasn't worked wonders. So I'm trying it here. I'll probably drop from the face of the forum in a couple of days; I'll do that. I hope not, but I know better than to put too much hope in myself.

-...Yay?

[Nuala]

Haha, love the comics

And yes, it's fine not being a super-hero. I don't feel like I'm one either and I'm ok with that. And you know what? If I knew how to draw, I could have drawn that comics a few month ago (seriously, I have the same haircut ).

Procrastination, anxiety crisis and depression, yep, that's the deal. I don't even remember how I stumbled on NF, I just remember that I was in bad shape and looking for something, anything that would be able to help me fighting my depression.

For me, cutting grains was what helped. I was willing to give the palep/primal diet a go, for one month, just to see, because one month is a short time after all. And it made me realise that apparently I have some troubles digesting them, I was tired all the time (still am, but way less, I mean, I can get up in the morning now) and believe it or not, grains were giving me huge nightmares and sleep paralysis. I'm still depressed and anxious occasionally but it's not full time any-more. I still have a long way to go though before becoming.. well human.

So, you should take care of your anxiety problems (and depression?) at first. I know way too well that you can't do anything when you feel tired all the time. Heck that was my life for years! In my case, it was food related, maybe it's worth testing it for you too? Even if you also have to fight your binge eating in the same time.

[UmbrellaFrog]

Hey, thank you!

It's nice knowing one's not alone with one's troubles (and haircut ), and it's great that you're doing better now! And I can practically guarantee you're human already

I'm doing much better on the anxiety front now I'm medicated and in a sorta kinda stable situation (if you ask me about what I'm going to be doing next year though, you might get a BSOD). As for the paleo diet, it does sound interesting but is seems really difficult to follow when you're a vegetarian (and are one mostly because you don't like meat very much)?

EDIT : j'avais même pas remarqué que tu avais "France" comme localisation. Salut compatriote ! ^^

[McG]

Here's your song of the day... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEnUp2j8TV4

You are over-thinking, over-analyzing and it's leading you to overstress. Let's take a step back to assess the big picture, and then take a tiny steps to get to the finer details...

First off, why SHOULD you be in the gym cardio-ing away? Do you like cardio-ing away? If not then find a new exercise because cardio is the most time consuming way to lose weight. You'd be far better off sprinting, lifting weights or doing calisthenics than you would running, unless you actually like running (in which case do it!). Another thing to do is mask the exercise as something else. Like basketball? soccer? frisbee? parkour? All cardio based activity but more focused on fun than just aimlessly running.

As for motivation I'd suggest to take it slow but consistent. Can't stick to a diet or a workout plan? Don't carry it all at once (song of the day? see what I did there!?). Start small. That's another thing this site is big on. If you drink 7 cans of Dr. Pepper a day and know you have no willpower, than it's unrealistic for you to expect to cut it cold turkey. So say you'll only drink 4-6 a day. Then cut down from there. Just like it's much easier to say "'I'll just have one cookie" and eat the whole bag/box, it's also a lot easier to say "I'll just have one less" than "I won't have any."

You can take the same approach with working out. Don't focus on the whole routine if you can't stick to it. Just do pushups and bodyweight squats (or maybe just one). Don't say you're going to do three sets of however many reps. What you're doing is setting yourself up for failure, failing and then getting upset over it. Your new motivation should just be do it or do one. Just say on "Monday, Wednesday, Friday I'm going to do pushups." You don't have to know how many because it doesn't matter. You're trying to build consistency.

Steve and the community are huge fans of tracking yourself so you can see your progress but for a lot of beginners any action at all is progress. Don't worry so much about your measurements and focus more on doing the activity you want to do on a consistent basis. The gains will come to you.

I want to be a Renaissance Man, but it's hard to add 3-5 new skills to my repertoire at a time. How do I manage this? I work on everything for just 10 minutes a day. Right now, I draw for ten minutes (expert), study spanish for ten minutes (complete novice), practice parkour and gymnastics for 10 minutes (complete novice), and write for 10 minutes (expert). How am I going to learn anything if I'm only practicing for 10 minutes? Because of the carry over. If I'm drawing and hit the ten minute mark and then draw for an hour past that, I don't feel bad that I skipped out on other stuff for the day. Not one day have I ever done all my daily activities for ten minutes and said... "I don't want to do any of these things today for more than ten minutes" and in the event I ever do, hey I still put in ten minutes!

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/bO/

You were biologically designed to succeed. Like the 4 billion years of progress we've made, you just have to take it one transformation at a time. Just change one trait, and change it little by little. The shark didn't develop into the perfect killing machine in one tiny evolutionary leap, but damn is it one badass assassin of the deep blue sea right now. Mother fucker killed Samuel L. Jackson, who was a goddamn Jedi Knight. Don't you want to have the power to kill a Jedi Knight?

[Nuala]

Hehe, le "frog" m'avait faite tiquer mais en l'absence de localisation, je ne voulais pas m'avancer. Francilienne?

Anyway, paleo and vegetarian is not really compatible. Paleo is no grain, no legume and that's the base of the vegetarian diet. So, except if you drink a lot of whole milk and eat tons of eggs, having enough proteins and calories will be tricky. I want to emphasis on the caloric part, I couldn't imagine how much veggies I would have to eat to have enough calories during a day. Well, the problem is not that bad for me, but for my BF it was tricky. He lost 10 kg in a few month when we switched to primal diet, I have to feed him lots of nuts to make sure he won't lose weight any more. That being said, if we consider that paleo is not compatible with your diet, you can at least try increasing little by little the vegetable portion in your diet, that won't hurt. Limiting grain/legumes at one serving a day should be a reachable goal. By the way, there is a new six week challenge starting Monday, how about participating? That may kick you in accountability.

If you don't feel like going to the gym, is it because it's boring? (I can understand that, my gym is boring too ) What about trying a new sport? I started bloc climbing a wile ago, and while I suffer of vertigo, I love it so it's easier to get the motivation to do some sport at least twice a week. Having a training partner may helps too.

[PitBull_Liz]

You were biologically designed to succeed. Like the 4 billion years of progress we've made, you just have to take it one transformation at a time. Just change one trait, and change it little by little. The shark didn't develop into the perfect killing machine in one tiny evolutionary leap, but damn is it one badass assassin of the deep blue sea right now. Mother fucker killed Samuel L. Jackson, who was a goddamn Jedi Knight. Don't you want to have the power to kill a Jedi Knight?

McG, I think I love you. Getting in a reference to both Deep Blue Sea (one of the greatest shark movies ever) and Star Wars all at once = mind-blowingly awesome.

UmbrellaFrog, I'm a newbie and I doubt my super-hero skills as well. However, I figure I'll never know if I don't start. I bought the Rebel Fitness Guide and I did the Rookie Workout A on Monday, walked a mile and a half on Tuesday, and did Rookie Workout B yesterday. It's kind of awesome because I finish the workout and think, that's it? It only took me 20-30 minutes and I wasn't dying. But due to the muscle soreness the next day, I know it's doing something. So maybe that would be a good first step for you, buying the guide and just doing the Rookie workouts to get that momentum started. Just don't give up before you even start! You can do this, one step at a time!

[Gobnait]

I might as well put this in my sig because I keep throwing it at people. "Courage, according to Churchill, is the ability to go from one defeat to another without losing enthusiasm." http://xirdalium.net/2012/10/27/nand-to-tetris/ Who has the "you're already lapping everyone on the couch" quote?

If you're not rebel material, join the challenge that starts Monday, keep at it, and we'll help you get to the point where you are. There are plenty who are willing to be accountability buddies here.

In this thread, you'll see some people who didn't quite overcome their struggles, but no one seems to be quitting. http://www.nerdfitness.com/community/showthread.php?19980-Adventurers-Report!-How-did-you-do

Perhaps one goal could be to work on the triggers to your binge eating. Or perhaps you can try mindful eating techniques.

A second goal could be to get dressed to the shoes within an hour of waking up. It's to help your subconscious get into work mode.

I assume you're already on a bedtime schedule. Maybe your third goal can be to keep a journal about how much you eat, how much and when you're taking caffeine, your mood, and how your sleep was. A pattern might emerge by the time the challenge is over. We'd believe you if you say you're keeping a handwritten log and aren't going to show it to us.

Don't make any of your goals be about things you can't control, like your weight.

[UmbrellaFrog]

Hehe, le "frog" m'avait faite tiquer mais en l'absence de localisation, je ne voulais pas m'avancer. Francilienne?

Lyonnaise And funnily the 'Frog' doesn't have anything to do with my being French, it's from my PhD subject, The Frogs by Aristophanes Five years studying one damn book can give you a certain level of obsession

I do cardio because I suck Well, actually it's because when I first started exercising three years ago, I didn't know a thing about fitness, so I just joined a gym, started spending an hour a day on the treadmill/elliptical and lost my 75 pounds that way, so as far as I was concerned, it worked. Also, I am extremely clumsy and uncoordinated. All these sports McG's mentioned bring back awful memories of high school sports class where I'd fling balls in the wrong direction, trip over my feet and cause my team to lose. I could never even figure out if I was naturally left-or right-handed. Walking on a treadmill for 30 minutes was the first ever exercise I did where I didn't suck...

I think I'll buy the guide and work from there I've already noticed, after doing the beginners' workout from the site a couple of times, it was getting easier. Yesterday was the first time I completed all the lunges without falling down on my butt (still unable to do a proper pushup, though)

[PitBull_Liz]

I also can't do a "real" push up. So start against the wall, or on an incline if you're able. I'm using the arm of my couch right now and it's embarrassing how hard it is. But that's okay, it won't be hard forever. :-)

[Nuala]

Rhône-Alpes FTW, I was born in Montélimar

I can't say I have fond memories of collective sport either, but sport at school sucked anyway. Hence why I choose climbing, being all alone on a wall is better for me. Kelekona made some good points, her proposed goals are good and may teach you a lot about yourself. You shouldn't focus too much on your weight. Scale can be a really unreliable friend especially if you start doing some sport, muscles are heavier than fat after all.

Good luck for the push-ups, it took me some time to do them (started with wall push-ups, I was too weak to even do knee push-ups), but if you keep at it, you'll do them soon enough.

[Jonesy]

Welcome UmbrellaFrog!

Like you, I also don't think I'm rebel material but I'm willing to give it a go. I've only found support and awesome people in the community which makes me believe I can, one day, be a super hero as well. Stick with it, find what works, don't forget to DO what you research and have fun doing it. Good Luck!

[bigm141414]

OMG! You have an Adipose action figure? As your avatar? <3

[peacekeeper]

Just my two cents worth but I too am on anti anxiety medication and the old medications took away all motivation. I started a new medication a couple months ago and the change has been wonderful. The medication is viibryd. It actually gives me energy while taking the anxiety away. I have struggles with anxiety/ severe panic disorder for the past 17 years. Therapy has also helped tremendously. I can guarantee one thing, if you stick around here you will find a first class support group that will not only encourage you but also help you see ways to make small changes. Hang in there.

[Kirkor]

Speaking of your avatar, do you think Adipose is rebel material? You don't *have* to join the rebellion ---- the rebellion doesn't need you, it will go on just fine while you are on the couch.

Would you mind if you remained overweight and unhealthy? If you wouldn't mind, if it would actually be somewhat of a relief to not have to worry about health and fitness, if you'd enjoy remaining on the couch, in the desk chair, etc., then that's totally fine! Many people have perfectly ordinary lives while getting heavier and weaker each year. No judgement, it's a personal choice.

But if even some small small part of you squeaks "yes I *would* mind", then that's all it takes: you ARE rebel material.

It just becomes a matter of fanning that small ember of yes-i-give-a-damn into a bigger fire.

[PointyEnd]

I'm a fencer. I've been known on occasion to beat people half my age in competition. And I can't do a real pushup yet either. Working on that.

I have a long list of reasons why I can't do things that I've used to get out of physical activity off and on since grade school. One of my arms is shorter than the other and I can't turn it palm-up, and I've got a collection of miscellaneous bone deformities, the upshot of which is that if I can do something on one side, odds are I can't do it the same way on the other side. I'm hellaciously knock-kneed. Yoga and dance give me rage-fits. As far as sports go, if it has a ball involved, it was expressly designed to humiliate me in public.

I broke my right leg, nasty tib-fib fracture, last February. Now it's got a nine-inch metal plate in it, to go with the huge benign bone tumor that's sticking out of it on the other side. My ankle doesn't bend right now, and I've still got some atrophy in my right calf over a year and a half later. Another great excuse not to do stuff! Except it isn't. I've hit bottom, and gotten to the point where reasons to bow out have become reasons to keep going.

I highly recommend breaking your leg as a fitness strategy. There's nothing like waking up one day, hobbling to the kitchen for a cup of tea, and going, "Shit, this isn't going to get any better unless I actually do something about it, is it?"

What's bothering you most? Never mind dramatic goals -- can you make one small change to put you on the road to making it better?

Is there something you like to do that gets your heart rate up? Never mind whether it's something fitness people prescribe for weight loss. If you don't enjoy it, you probably won't do it.

Also, I have to say, as a former vegetarian-turned-mostly-primal-eater, I struggled a lot more with cravings when I was eating a high-carb diet. I have practically zero power to resist cravings; the only thing I have ever had any success with is shifting my diet away from eating things that trigger them in the first place.

I hope any of this helps -- and if not, chuck it. Chuck everything that doesn't help.