Our.Lady.Of.Ashes in Training

[our.lady.of.ashes]

6 minutes ago, LadyShello said:

oooh, boxing sounds excellent!

I like both kickboxing and boxing because they're a little more aggressive, which would be a bit of a let go for me since I've never really had an outlet for those bits of anger that float around in my psyche.

[our.lady.of.ashes]

I've done a total of 20 pushups today. Knee push ups, but they count. I don't think I can do twenty regulation pushups yet. Otherwise, it's been a quiet day.

Mom gave me a swimsuit to wear, a modest one piece that doesn't draw a lot of attention to my midsection, so that much has been handled. Now I guess I'm ready to go to the beach. 

[Terah]

On 21-5-2016 at 11:14 PM, our.lady.of.ashes said:

I've done a total of 20 pushups today. Knee push ups, but they count. I don't think I can do twenty regulation pushups yet. Otherwise, it's been a quiet day.

Mom gave me a swimsuit to wear, a modest one piece that doesn't draw a lot of attention to my midsection, so that much has been handled. Now I guess I'm ready to go to the beach. 

A fabulous swimsuit and killer arms? You are definitely ready for the beach!

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Not killer arms yet, but I think I'm seeing a little more definition in them. It's kind of gratifying.

 

Didn't get to the gym today because the day was full. Had a hair appointment to get my dreads retwisted, followed by a doctor's appointment to reevaluate my medication, and then ballroom dancing class with my fiance where we chose our first dance song. The hair appointment went fine. The doctor's appointment was a little more hairy, but that was because I had to discuss the breakdown I had a week ago. Doc was not impressed, but she said since I was off my meds at the time and I seem to be okay now, she wasn't going to make any major changes to my medication. So that was good. Then came ballroom dancing, which was a lot of fun. We started learning how to waltz and choreographed the first minute of a six minute song. I have to find out how much dance floor we are going to have at the church so I can advise my dance instructors, plus get a dress pic so that I can show it to them and they can make sure the choreography is doable in my dress. Next class isn't for two weeks. 

 

I also talked to my church about premarital counseling, which our first meeting is on the 6th of June. At least they finally got back to me. I thought I was going to have to go down and camp out in somebody's office to get the answers I wanted. Fiance isn't super keen on the counseling. He figures we can make a good go of it by using marriage books, but my mother is insisting and I feel like she might be right. Anything to make the divorce possibility go down. 

 

Finally, I spoke to a coordinator for the First Friday Art March, which is a local art hop here in Savannah, about possibly doing an author signing at one of the venues. He's put me in touch with a few venues so I've got to talk to the coffee shops and see if they have acts already lined up in the coming months. It would be amazing if I could do an author signing somewhere in my city. Plus, and perhaps more exciting, I have the opportunity to vend at another convention. This one is away from home though so I have to factor in a hotel for at least two nights. So much stuff. So much stuff. I feel a little overwhelmed, but I know I have time to work on it all. It'll be awesome. 

[Terah]

So much awesomeness going on in your life! 

It can be stressful, but I hope you take the time to enjoy it <3

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Went to the gym. Researched Facebook ads, which I'm considering to help build my email list. Wrote a blog post about converting my mother to Starbucks. This could be considered bringing her over to the dark side, but I don't care cause they have coffee. Here's Monday's blog post about Rewards:  http://alledriaehurt.blogspot.com/2016/05/hacking-my-brain-what-am-i-getting-out.html  and today's post about the Fledgling Starbucks' Junkie, my mother:  http://alledriaehurt.blogspot.com/2016/05/fledgling-starbucks-junkie-or-how-i.html

 

I've also been considering building my own website, but I feel a little unequal to the challenge, like there are a lot of things I need to know that I don't know and that's just not cool for me. However, I'm also not entirely sure what I need to know or how to go about it. More research necessary. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Here's another blog post, this one about the Scarecrow scene in Fellowship of the Ring. http://alledriaehurt.blogspot.com/2016/05/hacking-my-brain-wheres-scarecrow-goal.html

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Today was a terrible day for food. In short, I didn't eat much of anything. In fact, by the time I got around to thinking of food, it was already 7 o'clock at night. In the meantime, I had two cups of coffee. That was the extent of my day. What was I doing? I wrote a blog post. I went to work for a short bit. Then I came home, did laundry, and researched how to make good Facebook ads before going to CSpot, the creatives mixer I've been telling myself I will attend once a month. At the mixer, I had a beer and an order of fries. That was it and I wasn't hungry. There is something wrong with that. I suppose I shall endeavor to do better tomorrow. 

[Terah]

If you want to build your own website, I am sure there are plenty of nerds around here that can help you

I've build the website for my own business, but I don't understand how to make it show up on the first page of google and such So I won't be much help. 

But like everything else: you just have to get started. You can always enhance, or expand your website when you learn more tricks

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Neck 13.5 inch

Chest 37

L Bicep 12

R Bicep 12.75

Waist 36.5

Hips 42.5

L Thigh 23

R Thigh 22.5

L Calf 15.5

R Calf 16

Starting Weight: 165 lbs

When they say the two sides will be uneven they aren't even kidding.

 

I joined the Nerd Fitness Academy yesterday because I thought it would be a good investment in my future. I'm doing the early quests of getting myself together before I go forward and one of the things they say to do is to take your measurements. I knew my waist and my chest were close to the same size, I just didn't know how close. No wonder I look the way I do. Then again, I knew from the pictures I had a spare tire around my waist. I'll figure out how to post the pictures from my phone at some point. I used to know how but I've forgotten. Having to also take a hard look at my eating habits again. I've had like six sodas in the last three or four days, so I know that's doing me no favors. I used to be good about soda, but here recently I've been backsliding something awful. The part of this challenge coming up that I'm not looking forward to is the breaking my caffeine addiction. I'm a COFFEE JUNKIE, all caps and in bold. I'm terrible. And its not even because I need the caffeine to get through my day, I can get along without it. I just like the taste of coffee, so given a choice, I would rather have coffee than anything else most of the time. However, I think I can get through it, I just have to give myself enough time to be okay with it. 

 

Part of me wants to be disheartened by the level of shit I'm dealing with right now and I keep reminding myself that I live a pretty charmed life. Things that  have been bad haven't been as bad as they could have been. Not to say that I haven't dealt with some awful crap, but I'm still in one piece. I've not been blown to bits or even hospitalized by the stuff I've been dealing with. Therefore, I don't think I really have a lot of room to whine and complain. I'm dealing with writer's block on a superhero story. There is a part of me that looks at it as if its the end of the world because I'm blocked on a story. What if I've lost my writing mojo forever? How will I survive? I keep saying to myself, This too shall pass because it will. No matter what happens, it doesn't rain forever. I just have to keep on trucking until I get to where I want to go. That's the important part. 

 

Once again, thanks you guys for being around and giving me people to talk to. My goals and life choices don't always make sense to those around me, like spending a hundred dollars on what is essentially a course in how to live better, so it's nice to not feel like I'm crazy all the time. Or at least not crazy in a bad way. I can totally accept my crazy in a good way working at being a full time writer. 

 

One of the other Early Quests is on finding your Big Why. What makes me tick? If I'm honest, I'm lazy. I operate on auto-pilot a lot of time, which is why I need to make certain good things the auto-pilot I default to. Like keeping boiled eggs in the house for when I'm hungry at those weird times. Steve says you need to go at least three levels deep, something specific, personal, and deep. So my why is:

I'm tired of being sick and tired. I have health issues, mental and physical, which feel as if they limit what I should be able to do. I'm tired of living with the label of "I can't because---." Therefore, I'm going to go forth and do because I can and I will. My motto: I am NOT weak and sickly. I AM STRONG and FABULOUS!

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Forgot to log what I ate yesterday. I'm thinking I may start keeping the log here in order to post everyday and to keep it in an easily accessible place where I can skim and consider how my eating habits are or are not improving.

 

Breakfast: Coffee with Skim Milk

Lunch: Everything bagel with blueberry cream cheese

Snack 1: Starbucks Hazelnut Latte and Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (2x)

Snack 2: 2 bratwurst with buns

Dinner: 6in Subway sub (Chicken and Bacon)

 

Something I must immediately confront and reconsider: No veggies. At no time yesterday did I eat a vegetable. Unless you want to count the negligible amount of lettuce on the Subway sub. This is not good. I must combat this trend. I also did not have a protein source at each meal. Again, this is not good. According to the business world, and all my habit formation books, you manage what you monitor. Therefore, if I'm going to manage my eating habits, I have to monitor them and keep track. I'm not counting calories right now because I don't think that's helpful, but maybe later once I've got things more in line with my goals.

[our.lady.of.ashes]

What I ate yesterday:

Breakfast: Coffee with skim milk, 2 eggs, small chicken breast

Lunch: Cheeseburger with bun, potato salad, spinach dip, chips, cheese balls, 

Dinner: Chocolate cake (small piece)

 

Yesterday was the Memorial day barbecue with the fiance's family. Played in the pool. Danced for a little while. Generally enjoyed myself. Ate what there was available, but once again, no veggies. As they say, you manage what you monitor, so gonna keep monitoring and see if I can manage to do better. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

 

Photo of me and the fiance dancing at the barbecue yesterday. That's the bathing suit my mother loaned me for the occasion. 

[Terah]

You two look so cute together!!! 

And I love the color of your bathing suit <3 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Writing this up before I go to bed:

 

Breakfast: 2 eggs, chicken, and coffee

Lunch: Mac&cheese, red rice, sausage

Dinner: None

 

Still no veggies. I shall make it my mission to go and get some vegetables tomorrow after work.

[our.lady.of.ashes]

So yesterday, I ate collectively a bagel with butter and two chicken breasts. Not a banner day at all. I also developed a caffeine headache from going more than 24 hours since my last coffee. Not fun, let's just go ahead and say. However, I refuse to let any one day get me down. I can and will succeed at this, even if it takes me a little while to do it. 

 

So far today, I've had a coffee and a lunch of chicken and veggies. Finally got to the store to get some veggies to plug that particular hole in my diet. I've been kicking around some story ideas for an anthology, but I think I'm going to give up on it. I'm just not where I need to be right now. One of my writer's group friends said it's possible with all the stuff going on with the wedding and my job that I'm just a bit burnt out. Maybe I need to focus on the stuff that has to get done and not worry about writing for right now. Blades of Fate is finished, so I'm just worrying about getting it in the hands of readers right now, no more writing to be done there. The second book of She Becomes Death is on hold indefinitely if I take a break, but it's the next thing for me to finish. Then I may need to write the third book in the Fated series so I can round that out.

[Shello]

You look so happy in that picture and I am happy for you!   I hope you like the Academy quests.  My husband has been doing them too and it really seems to drive him better than setting goals for challenges.  

 

Oh, and eat all the veggies!! 

 

[Terah]

Are you in for the next doodlie pvp? We are going to play battleships.

You can find the sign in sheet here.

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Sort of fell off the wagon, again. I've got to get better about staying on the wagon. I keep getting left by the horses. I went to the gym this morning and I'm still learning how to get my body to move the way I want it to. I added a little more ab work, mostly because I saw a trainer working with somebody else and show them how to do a certain move I've been interested in. 

 

Uploaded some progress photos. Because the internet is screwy here, I uploaded twice. Oh well, If you want to see my out of shape form, feel free to look. I took some time to do it because I wanted to get the photos off my phone and have them all in one place so that I could look at them in context later on.

 

I've been doing pretty good about eating lately, which I'm glad about. Eating more veggies! Good job me. 

 

Today is the first meeting of me and my premarital counseling through my church. I'm not quite sure how to feel about it yet. I'm hoping things will turn out well, but my fiance is not terribly keen on this, so I hope he won't have a rough time with it. The pastor doing the counseling is the church youth pastor who isn't a terrible lot older than me, so that makes things potentially great or really awkward. I don't know if I have more life experience than he does. He certainly would know more about being married since he's been married a few years and has several children. However, that doesn't mean he knows more than I do about life in general. Maybe I should be more worried about how I will behave than my fiance. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Just to keep everyone updated, the first meeting with the pastor went well. He and the fiance got along quite fine. I got through the meeting with minimal fright, so all is well.

 

Ate more fried food than I needed today, but that's all right. Everyday occurrence it isn't, so I'm not going to knock myself down over it. Had a coffee at a point at which it was probably too late to be having coffee, but I'm gonna not worry about that either. Tomorrow is a day off. If I stay up late and then sleep in a little, that's all good. Playing around with some new things, like Facebook advertising as a way to possibly make money on my books. I need to write a blog post and then send out a newsletter for the past month, but I'll do that tomorrow. 

[Shello]

I'm glad that meeting went well.  

 

That wagon can be hard to keep up with for sure!  Just keep chasing it.  

[our.lady.of.ashes]

I'm working on getting more veggies in. Had a big ol' bowl of broccoli earlier today. 

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Dealing a little bit with my over achiever nature in this one. http://alledriaehurt.blogspot.com/2016/06/hacking-my-brain-guilt-of-pleasure-and.html I know I'm not the only one who occasionally feels as if they could be doing more despite the fact that they are already doing all the things. Sometimes it is hard to put a name to, but I manage to and discuss it a little bit.

 

So far today I've had two cups of coffee, cheese and crackers, and a bowl of broccoli. I don't think I'm doing this right. However, I am not hungry. Currently sitting at the coffee shop eyeing a bagel, but that's not because I'm hungry as much as its an excuse to eat something warm with cream cheese. I may have one anyway. It's been a few hours since I ate and this place doesn't have a lot in the way of options.

[our.lady.of.ashes]

Ended up having the bagel.

 

Went to the gym. Still feeling unsure about using a larger than 25lb weight. I'm terrified I'm going to drop it on my chest and break something even though I think I might be strong enough to hold up a 30lb now. 

 

For breakfast, I had two eggs and a pear, so I'm starting off the day pretty good. Haven't figured out what I'm doing about lunch or dinner, but that needs to be on my radar at some point this afternoon. 

[Shello]

Is there anyone around that you can ask to spot you so you can try the heavier weights?