[Kishi]

Goal: 14.5/17

 

Was about yesterday, but not necessarily on my own topic. Need to figure out what the balance is in terms of being here and checking in on folk. Feel like I'm a touch closer to the balance that I want, although I can't say with absolute certainty.

 

But, uh, yeah.

 

Hit another gray area with the training. The way the ATG programs were working - that I was doing, they're not all like this - is that it was 5 days a week on the weekdays with the weekends off. I'm playing a little more casually with that - 5 days, 3 knee-focused and 2 upper-body focused - but letting rest days come as they do. Hit the end of the first 5-day block and the next day I had the chance to start another. But I figured I should give myself a rest day between those 2 since it'd be 2 knee-focused days in a row and I thought that volume would be a bit harder to take. So I took a rest and instead got out on the mats for striking work. Getting away from the job and into a space where I was doing something I liked was really good for me, even if I felt a little clumsy. Lot of high-volume work in a three-partner circle with a newbie and a southpaw. Definitely crossed some wires, but that kind of focus and problem-solving and wayfinding was a lot of fun. I've missed it.

 

Some job drama resolved yesterday in a way that I'm not satisfied with but confirms a lot of what I think about how this place works. It's useful, although I don't know how to make use of it yet. Might just be something to hold on to for next time. As well as the knowledge that there will be a next time no matter what I do about it.

 

I also got word from my boss that if I keep up with the work, I may be up for another promotion in 6 months. In addition to the pay bump, it would also mean more mentorship opportunities, a prospect that I'm surprised to find excites me. I'd specifically be mentoring folk who are like what I used to be, with high caseloads and no way out. I've benefitted from that kind of thing before, and there is a part of me that wants to pay it forward. That'd be neat. We'll see what happens.

 

Got to bed relatively on time last night but I must have needed sleep. I got up with my alarm, used the restroom, went back to bed to close my eyes for a bit and woke up a couple hours later. Guess my body got what it needed though; I feel great.  Cheerful and with a proper sense of what deserves emotional investment.

 

I'm going to hit some leg work today. Dunno what that means in terms of mat time tonight. We'll see.

[Scaly Freak]

8 hours ago, Kishi said:

I also got word from my boss that if I keep up with the work, I may be up for another promotion in 6 months. In addition to the pay bump, it would also mean more mentorship opportunities, a prospect that I'm surprised to find excites me. I'd specifically be mentoring folk who are like what I used to be, with high caseloads and no way out. I've benefitted from that kind of thing before, and there is a part of me that wants to pay it forward. That'd be neat. We'll see what happens.

 

Fingers crossed that it does happen. You'd be good at mentoring.  

[Mad Hatter]

On 4/10/2024 at 11:28 PM, Kishi said:

Well, to be really blunt, nobody gets out of life alive, and no job is going to care about my mental and physical wellbeing beyond what it takes for me to be productive.

Sadly I agree. But better companies will care more about your long term productivity and that includes more care for your mental and physical wellbeing. I... I just think you really deserve to be treated with respect, that's all.

 

On 4/10/2024 at 11:28 PM, Kishi said:

A job change can be a reasonable response to things, but I don't think I'll be served well if I do it as a reaction to a particularly acute bout of suck on the job's part.

I'm not going to press the subject, these decisions are hard and take time. But maybe it could be useful to at some point read through past challenges to see if it really is an acute bout. 

 

Exciting news about the mentoring, it sounds like it could be a great thing for you! Sometimes changing position can be just as good as changing company. 

 

On 4/11/2024 at 7:12 PM, Kishi said:

Getting away from the job and into a space where I was doing something I liked was really good for me, even if I felt a little clumsy. Lot of high-volume work in a three-partner circle with a newbie and a southpaw. Definitely crossed some wires, but that kind of focus and problem-solving and wayfinding was a lot of fun. I've missed it.

Yay! What's a southpaw?

[Kishi]

On 4/11/2024 at 10:01 PM, Scaly Freak said:

 

Fingers crossed that it does happen. You'd be good at mentoring.  

 

I know!  I'm really good at it, and I'd actually like to take over the training department for the agency and just revamp the whole thing. Only problem is, I'd have to unseat a bunch of people to do it, and I don't know how to navigate it in the wild event that that happens.

 

3 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Sadly I agree. But better companies will care more about your long term productivity and that includes more care for your mental and physical wellbeing. I... I just think you really deserve to be treated with respect, that's all.

 

I'm not going to press the subject, these decisions are hard and take time. But maybe it could be useful to at some point read through past challenges to see if it really is an acute bout. 

 

I promise you, as someone intimately aware of my work history, that every job sucks in its own ways. A "better" job will not suck less. It'll just suck differently, which I'm willing to put up with if the math (read: money/benefits) checks out. I just want to be careful and calculating about it.

 

But you are right. This job could have lost me many times over by now. @Mistr's been pitching me on that for years now. This latest pitch is different because I hadn't considered that my skillset would transfer to project management, which is why I'm much more receptive now than I was before. Credit to her for pointing that out. ❤️

 

I just don't want to hop out of the frying pan into the fire, you know what I mean?

 

3 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Exciting news about the mentoring, it sounds like it could be a great thing for you! Sometimes changing position can be just as good as changing company. 

 

Yeah, especially since they cut down on my new case assignments while I'm mentoring! That alone would make the promotion worth it.

 

3 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Yay! What's a southpaw?

 

"Southpaw" is a colloquial term for a striker (boxer) who is left-hand dominant as opposed to right-hand. Generally, that means they stand different than normal and they feed different "looks" to you that you have to account for and react/respond differently to.

 

*

 

Goal: 19.5/22

 

Cool, all right, gonna catch this up.

 

Cleaning up has happened and while I can't really say much about the main living space where my main computer is, the work space is remarkably cleaner and feels better. I rewarded myself on Saturday with a trip to the hardware store and bought a 11-in-1 screwdriver. This is the first step in me building a dedicated toolbox rather than me just going at it haphazardly depending on what breaks when. Felt good to get out and get that done. Makes the whole long term project feel more real.

 

I'm not sure what my next tool is yet because I'm thinking of a utility knife, but I might already have one and I just need to care better for it? Worth researching a bit. I'll give myself the gift of a deadline and say this has to be done by Saturday, assuming I keep up with my clean-up.

 

Managed to make it out to the mats the past couple of days. Got to work on my escapes against someone who didn't want me to escape and pulled it off, which was awesome! Not sure if I want to stick to that more for a bit or if I want to move on to the next kind of escapes; if I was making mat time more it'd be a no-brainer since I'd just focus on hitting that as much as I could for like a month before moving on, but I'm not regular enough for that to be a thing that I should just assume is going to work out, so. Decisions, decisions.

 

Speaking of, this week is the last week of budgeted OT before it cuts off, so I'll be working late this week to make sure that happens. We'll see what happens next month; I'm hoping that they'll give us more  than 10 hours/week so that, hypothetically, I can do mat time at noon and do my lifting in the evening with a clear conscience. But it remains to be seen.

[TimovieMan]

23 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Yay! What's a southpaw?

It's also a good Jake Gyllenhaal movie where Gyllenhaal's physique was basically 0% body fat... 😮

 

[Mad Hatter]

On 4/15/2024 at 8:01 PM, Kishi said:

I promise you, as someone intimately aware of my work history, that every job sucks in its own ways. A "better" job will not suck less. It'll just suck differently, which I'm willing to put up with if the math (read: money/benefits) checks out. I just want to be careful and calculating about it.

Yep. It might suck less for a while though before one discovers all the bad hidden things, or before one gets sucked into politics or gets fed up with the things that need to change but never do... But yes.

 

On 4/15/2024 at 8:01 PM, Kishi said:

I just don't want to hop out of the frying pan into the fire, you know what I mean?

100% I was in the same boat for a long, long time. I ended up snapping in the end, which was good, but I also don't recommend it. 😆

 

On 4/15/2024 at 8:01 PM, Kishi said:

"Southpaw" is a colloquial term for a striker (boxer) who is left-hand dominant as opposed to right-hand. Generally, that means they stand different than normal and they feed different "looks" to you that you have to account for and react/respond differently to.

 Ah, I see. I bet that's an interesting challenge if you're not used to it!

 

On 4/15/2024 at 8:01 PM, Kishi said:

Cleaning up has happened and while I can't really say much about the main living space where my main computer is, the work space is remarkably cleaner and feels better. I rewarded myself on Saturday with a trip to the hardware store and bought a 11-in-1 screwdriver. This is the first step in me building a dedicated toolbox rather than me just going at it haphazardly depending on what breaks when. Felt good to get out and get that done. Makes the whole long term project feel more real.

Nice!

[Mistr]

On 4/15/2024 at 1:01 PM, Kishi said:

I know!  I'm really good at it, and I'd actually like to take over the training department for the agency and just revamp the whole thing. Only problem is, I'd have to unseat a bunch of people to do it, and I don't know how to navigate it in the wild event that that happens.

 

You never know. If you keep your eyes open, you might be able to make that leap if an opportunity suddenly appears.

 

On 4/15/2024 at 1:01 PM, Kishi said:

I'm not sure what my next tool is yet because I'm thinking of a utility knife, but I might already have one and I just need to care better for it? Worth researching a bit. I'll give myself the gift of a deadline and say this has to be done by Saturday, assuming I keep up with my clean-up.

 

I have several utility knives. They range from the cheap promotional razor-blade-in-a-metal-holder (with the name of the place my dad worked on it) to the classic grey handle with angled blades to a newer one with an ergonomic handle. I have to say, the new one with the ergonomic handle is my favorite. It has internal storage for spare blades like the classic one, but you don't need to go find a screwdriver to open it to change blades. Plus it is more comfortable to use. Totally worth spending a few extra bucks for a tool you will use frequently for the rest of your life.

[Kishi]

On 4/16/2024 at 9:56 AM, TimovieMan said:

It's also a good Jake Gyllenhaal movie where Gyllenhaal's physique was basically 0% body fat... 😮

 

 

Yeah, his training videos have been coming up in my algorithms lately and I gotta admit, I'm really impressed by his commitment to what he does.

 

6 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Ah, I see. I bet that's an interesting challenge if you're not used to it!

 

It can be! Especially if you have to switch your own look round-robin style.

 

2 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I have several utility knives. They range from the cheap promotional razor-blade-in-a-metal-holder (with the name of the place my dad worked on it) to the classic grey handle with angled blades to a newer one with an ergonomic handle. I have to say, the new one with the ergonomic handle is my favorite. It has internal storage for spare blades like the classic one, but you don't need to go find a screwdriver to open it to change blades. Plus it is more comfortable to use. Totally worth spending a few extra bucks for a tool you will use frequently for the rest of your life.

 

Yeah, I think that might be like the one I'm going for. Ultimately, I was able to find a Milwaukee-brand knife with that storage and a bunch of extra little quality of life things built in that I think will serve well in the long term.

 

*

 

Goal: 21.5/24

 

Did some research and realized that a true utility knife has a lot more options than the pocket knife that I have now while requiring a lot less care. I should probably still get something to take care of the pocket knife in the long term, but that's a project for later. Right now, I'm just glad to know where I gotta go next.

 

Training has been good. My hamstrings, I've come to accept, are really, really sensitive to any kind of loaded work, so I've given up any kind of loaded hamstring work for now while I focus on mobility instead. Which basically means I'm right back where I was in terms of the knee programming I was doing ~14 weeks ago. I'm actually cool with it, though, having worked out some tweaks to optimize it and also having progressed some in terms of the athletic/bulletproofing feats I'm trying to accomplish. I think the next 10+ weeks or so will be productive as far as this goes.

 

Got some magic happening with the job: we got cleared for more overtime starting next week. A lot more. This is good news. The job being what it is, it really needs 60 hours a week to actually be done proper, but they only pay us for 40 and I don't work beyond what I'm getting paid for. This is a most welcome development.

 

Just gotta figure out how to make training and mat time work with it. I've been forced to accept in the past few days that I can't train during my workday and hit productivity standards. I could get up early and get shit done, and I could go to the mats after, but most of my OT is nighttime work and that's going to throw a wrench in any attempt I make to get down early to get up early and move. Might need to invest in some light-blocking glasses so that the work computer screen doesn't throw my rhythms off, but even accounting for that there's still the time/effort actually spent doing the job that I'm going to have to account for and work around.

 

Oh well. It's a good problem this time. It's refreshing.