Trying to find the path once again...

[Ngc_457]

Hi folks,

I thought that I'd spend some time and introduce myself as I intend to spend quite a bit of time with you all.

I'm a 35 year old father of three and 'a bad geek.' Many many moons ago, I was active and fit. I'd regular cycle over over 80 miles and would hit the gym regularly. I was starting to feel happy with myself and was physically the fittest I've ever been in my life.

Then, it changed. I discovered alcohol - with a vengeance. I hit university and it got worse. I was drinking a hell of a lot every night there were blackouts - lots of them - and I'd wake up to find kebab wrappers on my floor. I ballooned. I started to hate myself and continued to drink. Fitness and health disappeared from my radar.

This carried on for years. Eventually I met my now wife and settled down but I was still drinking far too much and eating crap, in a job I hated.

I eventually had a career change - which is a whole different story and find myself at the point where I have realised I need to sort this out.

A few weeks back I joined a gym. I've loved going but, in all honesty, am finding it hard when I have to be in work for 7am and then pick up middle daughter from school on the way home before having to take them to ju jitsu, drama, sort the ironing, attend meetings that crop up for my aspie son and the like. Any advice people may have on fitting I training will always be gratefully received.

I'm determined though. Very. I want my wife to look at me in a year's time and think 'wow.' I want my kids to look at me and think that their dad is the biggest, strongest guy on the planet. I want to stop snoring - which my doc says is coz of my weight.

I want to get back to the person I was becoming before the demon drink took hold.

I'm typing this with severe DOMS in my legs after a leg session yesterday and it feels great. I'd forgotten how much I relished that feeling of muscles being broken down to rebuild bigger and stronger. The pain that makes you remember that you're doing something constructive for yourself.

I'm hoping that the awesome attitude I see on this forum will be the motivator that I need to get me back on track and move away from what I turned into.

Anyway. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I look forward to speaking with you all over time.

Paul

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Liberator]

Welcome! I am also dealing with children with autism, twin ten-year-old boys, one just a "level one" and one severe non-verbal. It is very difficult working in personal time while raising children. This is a good place to start! The journaling and sharing process is very powerful and this is a supportive community.  Thanks for sharing your story and your honesty about the issues you are facing.  I am looking forward to your progress to becoming the dad and husband you can be proud of. 

All the best,

- L

[RES]

Welcome! Kudos to you for realizing where your issues were coming from (adult child and ex-wife of an alcoholic here...not everyone comes to these realizations!) Scheduling time for me is a huge issue too, even though my kids are older (teenage boys) I do have a full time job, and school...somehow that 'me' time is the first thing to go...but the payoff is worth it!!

[Basement Cat]

Welcome to the rebellion, NGC!

 

Good job on catching yourself before you fell too far! Good luck with your training and keep us posted!