ixaera keeps on going~

[CourtnieMarie]

yeah don't sweat the extra bulk day too much. bummer that it made you feel sicky though! i am also no good with on the fly plans but i have been doing better not thinking "oh i'm already so far over..." i try to keep the idea in the back of my mind that i can start making good choices no matter how far over my calorie goal I am... but you're on the right track! dust off and move on.

[ixaera]

2 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

yeah don't sweat the extra bulk day too much. bummer that it made you feel sicky though! i am also no good with on the fly plans but i have been doing better not thinking "oh i'm already so far over..." i try to keep the idea in the back of my mind that i can start making good choices no matter how far over my calorie goal I am... but you're on the right track! dust off and move on.

 

I LOVE to eat and will do so until my body uses sickness to make me stop. My hunger signals are useless to me lol

There's reasons I track as closely as I do!

[ixaera]

Day 35 of 84

7/9/17

 

Gym Time

Legs & Back

Barbell Squats

1x10 45 lbs

2x10 65 lbs

A warmup, I missed squats

 

Bulgarian Split Squats

4x6 55 lbs

 

Back Extensions

4x10 15 lbs

 

T-Bar Rows (new this week!)

3x10 60 lbs

 

Wide Grip Lat Pulldowns

3x11 60 lbs

 

DB Rows

3x10 25 lbs

Ran out of steam on the db rows. Was sure I would managed a 3x11, because I've done 3x15 heck but was just too tired by then and 10 was all I could do

 

Between sets, a young lady person appears on the next bench and row's like a million pounds of dumbbell in that super cheaty way for 1 set. (Don't get me wrong, not judging her for cheat rows, they can be very useful for overloading rows when you plateau). It was a bit strange because I had been doing my little wimpy 25 lb rows thinking about megsquats and her trying to do 70 lb ones (and kind of managing, though she had to drop down) thinking about how maybe SOMEDAY I will do a bunch of row pounds, then comes this youngling and her big ole dumbbell lol

 

Food Time

 

This week's targets / current day / avg:

1398 / 1259 / 1259

protein 110g / 108 / 108

carbs 127g / 112 / 112

fat 50g / 43 / 43

Wasn't super hungry yesterday (weird, it's like I way overate the day before) so I just aimed for protein goal and banked the low appetite for the future.

 

Writing: 0/7

[ixaera]

Day 36 of 84

7/10/17

Mr Ix's family wants to go on an expensive cruise next year. All I can think about is how much money I don't have. When I voiced this anxiety, he offered to pay, and I refuse because he makes half what I do and has debt. So, uh? No? That helps nothing.

 

Gym Time

N/A Mondays

 

Food Time

 

This week's targets / current day / avg:

1398 / 1321 / 1290

protein 110g / 108 / 108

carbs 127g / 138 / 125

fat 50g / 44 / 44

 

Writing: 0/7

[CourtnieMarie]

aw mannnn. that is a sticky situation. but one i would try to be as open as possible with mr. x on. managing money with an SO is not to be trifled with. maybe offer up an alternate solution so that you're not missing out on time with his family? suggesting that you'd love to go when X debt is paid off, or just hanging out with his family low-key in exchange for missing out. ugh. no bueno. sending positive vibes!

[Urgan]

Those no money feels. 100% with you on not jumping off the budget cliff. It's nice THEY have the dinero to blow on a cruise, but have they consulted you both before acting on this plan? If not, you have no reason to be conflicted. Hell no, until such time as the money tree blooms. Alternative cheaper family tiems??

[ixaera]

22 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

aw mannnn. that is a sticky situation. but one i would try to be as open as possible with mr. x on. managing money with an SO is not to be trifled with. maybe offer up an alternate solution so that you're not missing out on time with his family? suggesting that you'd love to go when X debt is paid off, or just hanging out with his family low-key in exchange for missing out. ugh. no bueno. sending positive vibes!

 

21 hours ago, Urgan said:

Those no money feels. 100% with you on not jumping off the budget cliff. It's nice THEY have the dinero to blow on a cruise, but have they consulted you both before acting on this plan? If not, you have no reason to be conflicted. Hell no, until such time as the money tree blooms. Alternative cheaper family tiems??

 

Yeahhhh

so, Mr Ix is determined. He's going and if I don't wanna pay to go too then he'll pay. So it's happening, and it's hard to say I don't wanna go on a cruise when I do, so I guess I'll just make it work. Here's how it went down: 

 

We were having our monthly family dinner thingo and G-ma starts talking about how we all need to go on a cruise. Almost a decade ago they did, right when Mr Ix and I were just starting dating so of course I did not go. Mr Ix pipes up "Ix hasn't ever been on a cruise!" so G-ma says well then we DEFINITELY need to go! And I'm thinking oh ok, I mean vacations are nice, I have one in February so as long as there's some time so I'm not pushing all my vacation together... Then they start immediately planning o.O

 

Then we get an email btw it's 1100 per person 

 

That's when my heart exploded. 

 

First, that's a heck of a whirlwind of planning. I've seen salesmen move slower than that. Anyway, I've mostly accepted it now, and I'll probably complain a few more times between now and then, but my solution is just to go :/ I really haven't been on one (due mostly to lack-ish of interest), and this is less drama. At worst it'll stall in the middle of the ocean and we'll all get poop diseases, right? No big deal

[ixaera]

Day 37 of 84

7/11/17

Work is always either super busy or super slow. I have a ton of new cases, one of which somehow got in my boss's ear as a big deal and I had to pay priority attention to and that I have to babysit at 11 pm at night for a bit. You might not be aware of this but I go to bed before 10 pm often, so I am a sleepy mcsleeperson today boy howdy

 

Gym Time

Crazy Arms Day

Bench Press

1x5 45 lbs

1x3 55 lbs

4x8 70 lbs

no big deal, kind of easyish until the last rep of the last set

 

Circuit x5

30 reps 20 lbs Cable Face Pulls

11 reps 6 lbs DB Lat Raises <--let's talk about these

12 reps 40 lbs Cable Tri pushdowns

12 reps 12 lbs Alternating DB Bicep Curls

6 reps pushups

 

Lat raises, amirite? Some days, I can barely BARELY do 10 reps with 3 lbs in each hand. Some days, I'm like, why am I not doing 8 lbs, these are super easy. I think my shoulders straight up take some days off, and I'm also basing this on my inconsistent OHP performance.

 

Food Time

 

This week's targets / current day / avg:

1398 / 1088 / 1223

protein 110g / 113 / 110

carbs 127g / 125 / 125

fat 50g / 23 / 37

Yeah, I know. I think stress is murdering my appetite. I get to my protein then I'm kind of like why bother, I'm trying to cut anyway can't I just bank this. I'll regret it tomorrow, I'm sure.

 

Writing: 1/7

One bonus of staying up late is that I have no excuse to rush off to bed after reading or playing games to decompress, and writing happens.

[ixaera]

Day 38 of 84

7/12/17

So, some stuff calmed down. Other family members suddenly decided the cruise was beyond their budget and are dropping out, so it is being cancelled. *breathes sigh of huge relief*

We are already going to Puerto Rico for a few days in February, and that was about my budget for trips for the year. I MIGHT consider visiting some friends later on, but like, just an airfare and food kinda deal.

 

Beyond that, things are ... not great. I do a mish mash of tasks at my work, and I would have told you Monday that my pay is pretty decent and fair. That's because I count a certain leniency with schedule and working from home as part of my salary. However, the hammer has come down and we are all now required to be in our seats in the office at work at 8:30 am M-F, even though my job is frequently NOT a normal business hours job and I rarely have any need to visit with people face to face (yes, sometimes, sure, but my normal tendency to come in covered that). So, it's sorta like getting a sudden pay cut, only instead of financial distress, it's scheduling and life distress. I now have to drive more on gym days, and it's possible gym will make me "late" now, even though I'm rarely in past 8:45, and that's late for me.

 

It wasn't necessarily the policy hit that upset me, yesterday, though sure, it's upsetting, annoying, and if it's not turning life upside down really, it's definitely altering it for the worse. Nope, it was the way the VP of the site came down with a manager escort from a related but different team, asked questions like "who sits there, where are they" and then threatened our boss with his job if he didn't make sure we followed policy, even though they didn't seem to care that X person was out because she was monitoring services at midnight, or Y person was taking lunch from 11-12. So a VP is randomly taking personal interest in the whereabouts of team members he never interacts with and frequently fails to mention at meetings. Not good.

 

My salary is OKAY for what I do. I'd say just at market, maybe slightly below? This is counting all my duties, not just my named main one. So, I'm unhappy, but I'm also unsure I could do better. That said, I'm not certain, but this could be writing on the wall and they may be just looking for reasons to dump us and place our responsibilities with other teams.

 

Gym Time

N/A wednesday

 

Food Time

 

This week's targets / current day / avg:

1398 / 1607 / 1319

protein 110g / 105 / 109

carbs 127g / 148 / 131

fat 50g / 66 / 44

More stress, but my appetite rebounded anyway

 

Writing: 1/7

No, stayed up watching Contender

[Jonesy]

Woohoo for cancelled, expensive out of budget vacations!

 

 

That is so frustrating! My company was bought a few years ago and we've gone through similar situations a few times. It's complicated, anxiety inducing and stressful but I know you can get through it.  

[Urgan]

How likely is it that VP is just throwing his weight around?

[calanthrophy]

Time to polish up the ol' resume?

[ixaera]

On 7/13/2017 at 9:56 AM, Jonesy said:

That is so frustrating! My company was bought a few years ago and we've gone through similar situations a few times. It's complicated, anxiety inducing and stressful but I know you can get through it.  

 

I hope so!! As it stands, I'm counting what I've got left and it's not bad. I don't think without getting pretty lucky that I'd find better without a super extensive job search, so I'm going to keep sticking it out for now, but there's not much left before that's not true. That said, the only thing left is a pay cut I think, or adding night work still expecting me to sit in my chair 8:30-5 the next day, so we'll see what happens. The truth is I'm pretty good at my job and I like feeling like a kind of expert, and I'll lose that if I leave, so I'm not going to be remotely hasty about it.

 

23 hours ago, Urgan said:

How likely is it that VP is just throwing his weight around?

 

Oh very. He's not technically my boss's boss. Unfortunately, the weight he has to throw is pretty heavy so that doesn't matter so much  

 

19 hours ago, calanthrophy said:

Time to polish up the ol' resume?

 

Yep, it was honestly polished up around the time we were acquired JUST in case.

[ixaera]

Day 39 of 84

7/13/17

Leaving this, because heck this week. HECK IT

 

Gym Time

BIG OLE LEGS DAY

Leg Press

4x10 50 lbs added

 

Bulgarian Split Squats

4x6 56 lbs

I don't wanna overload this TOO much b/c single leg squats and knees and stuff, but some progressive overload yes plz

 

DB Lunges

3x10 24 lbs (each leg)

 

Circuit 4x

8 reps 20 lbs back extensions

11 reps 60 lbs cable lateral rows

21 reps 30 lbs face pulls

Was a bit nervous to go up in weight on back extensions BECAUSE my back has been bothering me just a bit. Nothing super painful, but enough to fret. I did it anyway because recent experience APPEARS to indicate that these actually help, because I tend to feel at my best in the lumbar the rest of the day after these. This continued to be true, though it doesn't seem to "take effect" til later. Back feels more normal by a lot today, so signs still point to these being helpful so long as I can do them without pain.

 

One work walk. I've had to ditch weekday treadmills so I'm not arriving to work at 9. I don't know if 8;30 is possible... I really REALLY hope that isn't a thing because my schedule works really well for me and I love this gym. A change there would be very upsetting. Even if I go back to 5/3/1 I'd have to do 45 min or less sessions to get to work by 8:30.

 

Food Time

 

This week's targets / current day / avg:

1398 / 1420 / 1339

protein 110g / 76 / 102

carbs 127g / 143 / 133

fat 50g / 65 / 48

Eating like an asshole, but at least the averages don't look TOO awful.

 

Writing: 1/7

Ugh, no. This time I was up late watching Supernatural. ALMOST done with season 12

[ixaera]

Hello, hi, I am taking a mild break. I didn't do so well last week, and it turns out 12 weeks is a long time to keep something up and also publicly log it. :S Anyway, this cut's never gonna work if I don't start actually cutting calories on average more than a week at a time. I skipped my workout yesterday because I was so hung over I felt like one big bruise and I woke up later than usual. But, I plan to do the parts of the workout that are possible in the work gym after work today, and the back extensions can potentially be tacked on to Crazy Arms Day, but there's the workout timespan issue now that I have a set 'be here at this time' time at work

 

Anyway, suffice to say that I was doing fine til Friday, then I decided to drink away some stress, which resulted in too many calories, some in the form of delicious cheese fries.

[Jord]

Sometimes our body needs a break. 

[ixaera]

3 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

Sometimes our body needs a break. 

 

Stuff is still pretty nutso, too. Work is dramatic AF.

[Urgan]

3 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

Sometimes our body needs a break. 

 

Sometimes it gets confused and just flat out breaks. 

[Jonesy]

On 7/17/2017 at 11:27 AM, ixaera said:

 

Stuff is still pretty nutso, too. Work is dramatic AF.

 

 

 

Take a break and come back refreshed!

 

 

[ixaera]

I am definitely taking a break. Still lifting and eating, though!

[ixaera]

OKAY. I go on vacation 8/18. It is 7/24. I want to Do The Things inbetween, but I'm bored and annoyed with the program I have, through no fault of its own that I can tell. I think it's a basic incompatibility. The idea is good. Start out near normal and fairly easy, while increasing difficulty just a little bit week by week. Not a bad idea. Just not for me. 12 weeks is a long time to slowly lose calories and do more and more, because each week, if you feel tired you realize "oh, well, there's 6 more weeks and it only gets harder"

 

This is great for many. For me, I just wanted to frown a lot. I have ideas on how to use what I learned and make it better, though. I did not lose any fat. Reason: I kept overeating sometimes, about every other week or every two weeks, enough of a binge outing that a single day could raise my average in the hundreds above goal. Not good. Counter: Shorter abstaining periods. Long periods of low calories mean lots of time where I have to drink only iced tea with friends. I either need to get to where I'm not drinking (beyond, like, one drink, and I feel like I've proven the one and done doesn't work for me), or I need to plan longer programs around it. For now, I'll go around.

 

I came up with a kind of back-and-forth style version of what I was doing, based somewhat off of the 5/3/1 modification I had been doing, with accessories and leg days inspired by the program I just left. I'm taking out the slow descent into hell and doing a static up-and-down method. No more of this "how many dang calories is it this week again?" nonsense. It'll either be 1300 or 1500, depending on if it's an even or odd week. Odd weeks will be lower calories, 1.5 hrs (total) of steady state cardio, hypertrophy/high reps strength training, and circuits. Even weeks will be 1500 calories (near maintenance, just under, teensiest deficit), 2x HIIT 20 minutes, 10 min daily walks, and basically the same strength program, only no circuits and higher weights for lower reps, 5/3/1 style. Yeah, it's more manic, but the hope is that the change ups will help keep me interested and less hangry because sometimes the deficit will be far less.

 

However, I don't have time to do this program before my trip, so I'm doing kind of a round of 5/3/1 instead. I have an extra week, so I'm doing a 1RM test this week for bench and OHP, plus accessories and leg days based on the program I just left. 9 days of road trip will be a super deload, then I'll try out the new program.

 

So yeah, next 4 weeks are a bit of a come-what-may, held together with old programming tape. I hope to lose a bit of that pesky fat too, but I'll take what I can get. Honestly, I've been a mite depressive, so I'm sure that's played a role in my barely-keeping-it-together.

 

In other news, I ate biryani with paneer tikka all over it today and wooo that was good. My back is bothering me a bit, including some nasty toe sciatica, a little more persistent than usual  Tomorrow, I try a 100 lb bench \o/ And potentially more, we'll see how it goes.

[ixaera]

Bench Press

1x5 45 lbs

1x5 50 lbs

1x3 60 lbs

1x5 75 lbs

1x3 85 lbs

1x1 95 lbs

1x1 100 lbs

Failed 105. It was a 50/50 shot. 100 felt pretty good, went up fairly easily. However, I wasn't feeling 100% this morning (no real reason, just a rough morning I guess, shark week on the horizon may have something to do with it), so I wasn't TOO surprised when 105 went up about 2 inches then stopped. Have never used the safeties on that particular bench before, so figuring out the shame bail was different. AND I should mention I was using my "new" medium grip trying to see what my limits are with it. Turns out, pretty close to my wide grip limits, so swapping to this for normal bench to save my wrists.

 

Overhead Press

6x5 51 lbs

nbd

 

Didn't have time for face pulls so I skipped 'em, they were really only there in case I found I did have time after the barbell things.
~Giant break where I worked and also ate a brisket stuffed baked potato~

 

Circuit 5x

25 second plank

15 lbs 20 reps DB pullovers

10 lbs 20 reps Alternating DB Curls

15 reps Incline Push Ups

Notes: The incline was pretty small, and my hands were close together. This made 15 reps really, really hard. As a result, the final circuit only saw 10 of those. I also did a 30 sec plank at the end for funsies. Lastly, I didn't think I could do so many 10 lb curls so the first set was 5 lbs at 20 reps with me making a confuse face. (I think it's just me mixing up what I can do standing and seated)

 

 

[Urgan]

100~ How's the back treating you?

[ixaera]

2 hours ago, Urgan said:

100~ How's the back treating you?

 

It hasn't improved OR worsened, so it could be worse :3

It's currently being distracted by a major crick in the neck that I think I gave myself during pullovers. Woke up with it, it sucks, and there's MAJOR PMS... debating skipping cardio for some ffxiv time.

[Urgan]

Neck cricks can go DIAF.