Snarkyfishguts: DBL

[Snarkyfishguts]

Health wise, I am meeting calorie goals but the quality of calories is not cutting it. A lot of chocolate has been consumed this week.   Now that we’re not skipping meals and spending our time at the hospital, I plan on eating all the vegetables

[Snarkyfishguts]

I got a haircut today. My brother came to help out, so I felt okay leaving for an hour. I really needed a cut. I like my stylist, she makes talking easy, even when I don't feel like it's easy, and she understands me and my hair.  

 

Dad is getting so much better every day. This morning I barely had to support him. He just popped up, and walked to his chair and I just had to be there just in case, but he was awesome!  As expected, by evening, I did a lot of supporting, and I'm happy to report that I am strong again. I will just get stronger as time passes, but Dadlifts are a great exercise. Again, my fitbit has NO appreciation for this, but I did impress my dad, and that meant a lot to me.  Tomorrow I'll probably have to do an actual workout instead of just Dadlifts, because he's getting strong and I don't have to work as hard. 

 

Evenings are hard. He's tired, he's emotional, and everything hurts more. We reassure him this is nothing to worry about, and we listen and unpack some things with him, and then remind him how much better he feels in the morning. "A good night's sleep solves a lot." and he says "Yeah!" and then we talk about something silly so he goes to sleep thinking about stuff he enjoys instead of what hurts or what worries him. 

 

I think we're all tired and emotional by evenings, and I'm going to take my own advice and do a silly puzzle or read my fluffy romance and go to bed. Goodnight, buddies. 

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Such good news!!!!  

[Snarkyfishguts]

4 hours ago, Chris-Tien Jinn said:

Such good news!!!!  

Right? I was really happy with yesterday!

[Snarkyfishguts]

Recovery is not a straight line. Dad didn't sleep well last night, and his staples in his legs are pulling because he's healing. He was getting really upset about everything so we just said "You know, just rest this afternoon and sleep in bed. you've worked hard this morning moving around. " and he's passed out right now.

 

Mom also didn't sleep well last night, and she's frustrated and controlling and I finally said "LOOK I AM TAKING CARE OF THESE THINGS, YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF"

 

I'm a bit tired myself. I may take a short lil' snoozey while I'm waiting for clothes to dry. Snoozey or snoozy? Snoozyroo!  

[RES]

Good for all of you recognizing and getting rest when it is needed! That is the most important yet toughest thing to admit (and get) when you're in a caretaker role.

[Snarkyfishguts]

1 hour ago, RES said:

Good for all of you recognizing and getting rest when it is needed! That is the most important yet toughest thing to admit (and get) when you're in a caretaker role.

Thanks! It’s been a good day since we decided to chill the heck out

[Snarkyfishguts]

Weigh In Day: 

 

231.6 pounds. I'm down 0.4 this week, and I'm proud of myself considering the last week.  Now it's time to make breakfast and move forward. Have a great day everyone!

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Met the physical therapist yesterday. She’s really nice and is really good at what she does.

We’re all tired today, so I’m just gonna go get stuff done. I’m gonna make a schedule for myself because time is squishy right now.

[Shello]

You are doing a great job taking care of yourself and others, but really yourself because you deserve it and can't be as helpful to others unless you take care of yourself.

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

9 hours ago, Shello said:

You are doing a great job taking care of yourself and others, but really yourself because you deserve it and can't be as helpful to others unless you take care of yourself.

 

Oof, Shello. I need this reminder. 

 

For the last few days, I've been hungry. I know that a lot of that is from being tired, but I just said "Eff it!" and while I counted calories, I didn't restrict them at all to the daily recommendation. This morning I weighed 234, and I just shrugged and said "I can work with this." Did I eat too many peanut M&Ms? YES. Did I also eat a lot of vegetables, chicken and fruit? Sure did! We'll see how it plays out next Monday. Bodies are weird, and mine needed more food yesterday. I also noticed in my food logs that the creep of coffee and sweets has grown since Dad was in the hospital, so I'm going to focus on no added sugar, and going back to coffee on Wednesday and Sunday. Oh look, it's Wednesday! Yay!!!   

 

Time to make breakfast! We're getting a late start today.  Mom and I are going out to lunch, and then to a craft store while my brother stays with my Dad. It'll be another big calorie day, but it's also going to be a fantastic break for us, and that's more important than making my calorie goal. The amount of care Dad needs is a LOT more than I anticipated, and I definitely need to figure out a schedule so I am meeting my personal goals. I'm going to do that tonight.

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Stress also messes with body mass and hunger cues.  Give yourself grace right now.  Don't go nuts, but recognize that the body doesn't always react as we expect.

[Snarkyfishguts]

50 minutes ago, Chris-Tien Jinn said:

Stress also messes with body mass and hunger cues.  Give yourself grace right now.  Don't go nuts, but recognize that the body doesn't always react as we expect.

Thank you. You're really right.  I just want to hit pause on sugar and caffeine as coping mechanisms. But you're right about grace, and thank you for reminding me.

[Snarkyfishguts]

I ate 2500 calories yesterday, played BotW while my Dad listened to his book, and then I went to bed instead of trying to get anything done at 10pm. I woke up today at 6:30 feeling really good, dropped a pound so I'm at 233 this morning. I've already brought Dad his coffee, got him settled for the morning, and then Mom was up so I went out and took care of the flower beds for an hour, which was lovely.  

 

I'm going to ease up on Dad updates now unless something big happens like getting his staples out or he goes up the stairs.  There's just not a lot to report right now, and I'd like to spend that time tidying up the house. When the house is clean, everyone is more relaxed, so Mom and I are going to clean today, and I'm really excited about it.   It's official: I'm an adult LOL

[Snarkyfishguts]

OMG the universe heard me LOL!  Dad got his staples out today. He feels SO MUCH BETTER. It still hurts, obviously, but he has a greater range of motion and the pain is has got down significantly. YAY! His visiting nurse is super nice and you could see his patience being tried as we told him stuff and he would smile and say "Oh! That's not in the file, let's add that right now."  and he wasn't irritated with us, but with the weekend on-call guy who forgot to enter his notes before he left for vacation. He likes history so he and Dad had some great conversations while removing the dozens of staples. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

I bought a habit tracker template on Etsy from this person  because I can't remember when I did stuff. Somethings are obvious. Did I make the bed? No. It's messy. But "when did I wash my sheets? when did I last do upper body strongs?" this will be helpful. Maybe. It's pretty, any way  

 

 

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Looks pretty cool.  I bookmarked a few templates.

[Snarkyfishguts]

13 hours ago, Chris-Tien Jinn said:

Looks pretty cool.  I bookmarked a few templates.

I really liked it. It was worth paying a few dollars to not spend the afternoon making one for myself. LOL

 

 

Today is good. I made Dad coffee, and we chatted a bit. Then Mom and I played Ringfit Adventure, just doing a custom arm workout, and that was my victory of the day. All my sore upper body muscles feel really good now and less whiny about being neglected. 

 

I am really cranky today, so I'm going to clean and find something pleasant to do. have a good weekend!

[Snarkyfishguts]

Yesterday, I decided to take charge and it was really nice. I vacuumed downstairs while Dad was in the shower, I vacuumed and dusted upstairs while Mom cooked dinner. I did a few loads of laundry while we watched TV in the evening, and I got my work computer updated so hopefully it will run a lot faster now. And while Dad was listening to a book, and Mom rode the stationary bike, I played fitness boxing on mute.  Normally I try to be out of the way, and yesterday, I took up a lot of space, and it was nice. 

 

I also beat Calamity Ganon in BotW, and that ending was kinda...phtbtbt. I had a lot of fun playing the game, but I also acknowledge I was hiding in it, and I'm ready to do other things now.

[Snarkyfishguts]

Today I played Ringfit and did a custom workout for abs, and then walked for 30 minutes. I'm walking faster now, and I'm really enjoying being up before the dog walkers. It's quiet. 

I'm not sure what tomorrow's weigh-in will bring, but I'm happy to be back to healthy habits in terms of food and exercise. Stress is still stress, but I feel like this IS a stressful time and we're all doing our best right now. Everyone is tired. I'm finding joy in warm blankets, walking outside, and looking at shoes online  

[Snarkyfishguts]

233.4 pounds today, so a 1.8 lb gain this week. 

 

Mom and I are going to take turns more often in caring for Dad.  He's so much work, y'all. He still needs help standing and sitting, but he's getting better with it so he only needs one of us instead of both of us. He's moving around better, but he's still a fall risk, so he needs someone standing by. Mom has injured her knee, so she can't go up and down the stairs a lot.

 

I'm not getting enough water. we have this water pitcher of filtered water, and my folks have giant water bottles, that they fill up twice during day and I'm always left waiting for the pitcher to refill and then I kinda just...forget about it. So today, I got my water bottle out before anyone else woke up, and filled my bottle. Then I filled up everyone elses's and stuck them in the fridge. I mean...could that be anymore on the nose about caregiving and stress-management?  I just laughed at the whole thing.  And I think it's just doing more stuff like that. And honestly, taking care of myself first really does make the rest easier. It's easier to carry food to people when I'm not hungry. It's easier to help lift Dad up when I'm exercising and feeling strong. It's easier to listen to peoples' feelings when I'm acknowledging my own and taking the time to journal. 

 

But omg I am very relieved that this is not the level of care we're going to have to maintain. I'm really looking forward to him improving and Mom's knee getting better, so we'll see how that plays out this week. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

GIANT leaps forward since my last post. GIANT LEAPS. 

 

Well, Dad is standing and sitting on his own 90% of the time, he is confidently using all areas of the bathroom unassisted and walking around the rooms like a pro. He still has some balance issues, but about the same level he did before surgery.  He's determined to tackle stairs next. the physical therapist will come today, and she is gonna be surprised!

 

the emotional aspect of healing is kicking in BIG, but we're addressing it.  Sometimes it's just a physical response to being tired, to being sore,  or just the brain sending a "WTF JUST HAPPENED" message but sometimes it's just regret, anger, and fear and I feel like we're addressing all those things. I want him to address and acknowledge his feelings and just process what happened and what is happening.  I think it really helps to say "OMG taking a poo is exhausting! No one tells you that you need a nap after a good poo!" and he just laughs and says "RIGHT? THAT WASN'T IN THE BROCHURE!" and then just kinda reminding him that he's making amazing progress and will continue to feel better as the longest days inch forward.

 

As a caregiver, it was hard to get out of bed today. But my folks convinced me to go for a walk and the sun did the trick. I felt a lot better, and I realized that I really need to treat my morning walks like prozac. I saw a cloud moving fast in front of a slow stream of clouds and it really looked like a giant snail leaving a trail of cloud behind him. It was so fun.  I was taking a photo of some amazing hibiscus which is impossible to grow up here, so that's amazing this guy got it to grow, and my surly neighbor came out and said "Let's get in closer" and I showed him how to do an image search with photos, and he was as excited as I was when I learned how to do it.   

 

plus, y'all. Only Murders In The Building is back for a 3rd season today  

[Snarkyfishguts]

BREAKING NEWS!!! DAD JUST WENT UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS!!

[Emma]

Yay dad!

 Yay snarky for taking care of herself. Put your oxygen mask on first.

[Snarkyfishguts]

 

11 minutes ago, Emma said:

Yay dad!

 Yay snarky for taking care of herself. Put your oxygen mask on first.

it was an exciting day!!

 

I am taking it easy today. Yesterday I did a lot of Dad work and Mom got a break and we’re switching today because I didn’t sleep well and feel stabby.