alexis88 Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 Hello, im back again, this time i hope to stick around, i hope to achieve something. i decided to start this in the respawn forum as it gives me a bit more inspiration each time i see it. anyway, Im still struggling with alcohol but after a very bad episode last weekend, ive checked into alcohol therapy and im really going to try harder than ever to stop. Day 4 without and going strong. The main reason i need to stop, apart from the weight i put on with it....is that it stops my medication working and my mental health gets 100 times worse. I have borderline personality disorder and i need calm or i just get into self destruct mode. Im reading my Buddhism book a lot this week, meditating every night, trying to relax, focus on the now, work hard (im an artist) i cant do all that if im drinking. anyway i want to add exercise to this (i already eat well, im now a vegetarian as well since i was last here) but i dont work out. this will change. i have recently joined the gym and need to make it a habit, not something i dread... Hope for advice, and friends along the way thanks for reading x Quote Link to comment
curryfiend Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 I'm sorry I can't really offer any great words of wisdom right now, but good luck to you! Just think of all of the great things you will be free to do if you cut out the drinking. I used to smoke (pot) constantly. It was fun and was a great temporary stress reliever, but I realized it wasn't really helping me get to the core of my problem (that being I am an extremely stressed and depressed individual). I would work all day, smoke, eat, then sleep, and repeat. Since I've weaned off of it I now make more fun plans with my friends, I've stopped binging on late night unhealthy munchies, I'm in training for a 5k, and I'm beating the crap out of The Division. You'll save a lot of money too and another thing I started doing was doing a "money saving challenge" by throwing a dollar in a jar, then two the next week, then three, etc. Keep yourself busy with other things you look forward to doing! Quote "Strength without determination means nothing...determination without strength is equally useless!" -Godo, FFVII NF Academy Profile Link to comment
hesaki Posted March 31, 2016 Report Share Posted March 31, 2016 From the sound of your post you've achieved a lot. You've come back, which is a major achievement in itself. You've seen and realized that you needed to make some changes to improve your well being, and you've already taken a major step by checking into therapy. Congratulations on Day 4! I've been meditating a lot recently myself, and one thing it helped me to understand about my depressed, negatively self-fulfilling prophecy mind is that I need to look for any and all small achievements I make and build my momentum from them. You're doing better, and can keep it up! We're all here in it with you. Quote Link to comment
BarbarianBassBro Posted April 1, 2016 Report Share Posted April 1, 2016 As a nurse working in a mental jail/hospital I can tell you one thing by reading your post: You´re on a good way and understood something important! Keep on the good work and stick to your new healthy habits! Quote I´m a bass player, what´s your superpower? "Small you are? Lift you must!" Master Broda, at the Dagobrah warrior bootcamp to his apprentice Luke Skylifter "Let not the gains of your heart diminish the gains from your mind for the path of iron is long and full of hardship" Book of Liftviticus ch23, v13 Success starts where excuses end! \m/ Be awesome!!! \m/ My DailyBattleLog: \m/ Commitment on being awesome \m/ My Current Challenge: Click me!!! Link to comment
TheGreyJedi-Ranger Posted April 1, 2016 Report Share Posted April 1, 2016 A suggestion for working out- Maybe shop around for something you enjoy that might not be the gym? Maybe climbing walls? Or Parkour? If you hate the gym, maybe you could find something more fun for you? Quote Grey Jedi Ranger Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero Jedi Battle Log “Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!” - Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12. #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26, #27, #28, #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, #44, #45, #46, #47, #48, #49, #50, #51, #52, #53, #54, #55, #56, #57, #58, #59, #60, #61, #62, #63 Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Thanks all your encouragement means a lot. Unfortunately i drank yesterday, had a very stressful day in court as im appealing my disability benefits being stopped due to government cuts. I drank to numb the emotions. I feel guilty and ashamed today. Ill know in a week about my money, it can go two ways, either i get it reinstated, and everything is fine, or i dont, and i have to move, not only house but cities. The stress is making my already crappy mental health much worse and im trying hard to not self harm. Been on a bike ride and now im about to meditate. Trying hard to keep relaxed and not do anything stupid. I will NOT drink today. x Quote Link to comment
BarbarianBassBro Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Grinding for Level ups with hard mode on sux Changing bad habits or being harmful to yourself is hard for a healthy guy or girl, in your case it´s even harder. Willpower is a limited ressource, just like mana. Try to Level up slowly to increase your max willpower and Regeneration and take the encouragements from here to fuel your will to change something! Comes time, you´ll have the energy to establish better stuff in your life. Quote I´m a bass player, what´s your superpower? "Small you are? Lift you must!" Master Broda, at the Dagobrah warrior bootcamp to his apprentice Luke Skylifter "Let not the gains of your heart diminish the gains from your mind for the path of iron is long and full of hardship" Book of Liftviticus ch23, v13 Success starts where excuses end! \m/ Be awesome!!! \m/ My DailyBattleLog: \m/ Commitment on being awesome \m/ My Current Challenge: Click me!!! Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 Thanks a lot BassBro i will take the encouragement from you all to inspire me to move forward x 1 Quote Link to comment
BarbarianBassBro Posted April 3, 2016 Report Share Posted April 3, 2016 14 hours ago, alexis88 said: Thanks a lot BassBro i will take the encouragement from you all to inspire me to move forward x This Forum is a great way to find people to cheer on your success, no matter how small it is or to get you back on track if you fail hard. I was pretty surprised myself doing my first challenge here and gettin´ so much feedback! 1 Quote I´m a bass player, what´s your superpower? "Small you are? Lift you must!" Master Broda, at the Dagobrah warrior bootcamp to his apprentice Luke Skylifter "Let not the gains of your heart diminish the gains from your mind for the path of iron is long and full of hardship" Book of Liftviticus ch23, v13 Success starts where excuses end! \m/ Be awesome!!! \m/ My DailyBattleLog: \m/ Commitment on being awesome \m/ My Current Challenge: Click me!!! Link to comment
hesaki Posted April 6, 2016 Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 You've got this, alexis! And we've got your back! Quote Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2016 Thanks Hesaki Today has been pretty damn awful. I was in court last week appealing the disability benefit being cut. (those from the UK will know its being cut all over the place, horrible Tories) anyway today i found out it was rejected and i lose £250 a month. I now have maybe £5 to live on per week. Im stressing out, all i want to do it drink, a lot. I havent worked out, (i have been eating well) but today ive not eaten due to stress. Sorry to complain but needed to let it out. thanks for listening x Quote Link to comment
hesaki Posted April 7, 2016 Report Share Posted April 7, 2016 It's totally okay to just let out the steam built up in you. Much better than letting sit and fester. Super positive that you've been eating well still! Even when stressed, you should try and make sure to eat something good. I know it's hard, which is why when my job decides to push me over the stress cliff, I go outside for a few minutes to have a healthy nibble for a few minutes. I've found it to be so refreshing and helps me to get back to my center. 1 Quote Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2016 This weekend done lots of hard work, digging and helping parents in the garden. Went home for a few days to try relax. Ending up grafting! But was good, my body aching now haha Been thinking of planning some long walks and camping. anyone do that ? 1 Quote Link to comment
curryfiend Posted April 12, 2016 Report Share Posted April 12, 2016 That sounds great! Being outside is one of the best forms of therapy. I believe John Muir said it best, "In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks." Just this past weekend I took a couple of friends hiking near a hidden historical sight. We had to trudge through mud, unbeaten paths, etc. but it as very rewarding. Made me forget for a while about my worries in life and I felt excited to be alive. 1 Quote "Strength without determination means nothing...determination without strength is equally useless!" -Godo, FFVII NF Academy Profile Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2016 curryfiend, yes im definitely going to do it, had fun looking for places to visit. I think the Lake District (UK) will be great! Had a hard day meds dont seem to be working and im very anxious. With my money issues ive had to cancel gym membership. Need to get out on my bike but im rubbish. I make excuses to not go. Quote Link to comment
curryfiend Posted April 12, 2016 Report Share Posted April 12, 2016 I feel you, I even make excuses to not go to the gym (I work right next door to it, haha). I try to do one nice thing for myself every day, whether it be simply getting a cup of coffee or taking a 5 minute walk around my neighborhood while listening to some good music. For me it helps takes the edge off when I'm having a stressful day. Just make sure, whatever you do, that it's something that's going to help set you forward (I used to treat myself to unhealthy foods and that really set me back). You also don't need any money to get a good workout! Steve has posted a bunch of great body weight workouts that are floating around somewhere on the website. Heck, you could do it in your own house if you really wanted to. I used to go to a park right down the street from my house and do the body weight brigade workouts there and do chin ups on the monkey bars. BTW you're so lucky to live in the UK. I have a couple of friends who live there and I'd love to go someday, it looks beautiful out there. Take advantage of it!! 2 Quote "Strength without determination means nothing...determination without strength is equally useless!" -Godo, FFVII NF Academy Profile Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2016 Thanks again curryfiend Today has been pretty good, got lots of exercise by digging in the garden! ive taken up lots of turf and made a flower bed, and planted 10 plants. Looks lovely! Was sweating and aching, digging is so hard! Yesterday i weighed myself, thinking ive definitely lost some, ive been eating well and exercising a bit more the past week. But ive put 2 lb ON!!! kind of makes me want to give in when this happens. But i wont, hope to go on my bike tmoro. Quote Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2016 well i cycled 10 miles yesterday!!! 1 Quote Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2016 ugh stupidly ate pizza today Quote Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2016 went out for 45 mins on my bike, felt much better afterwards. 1 Quote Link to comment
alexis88 Posted April 17, 2016 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2016 had a great day, walked 8 miles in the gorgeous peak district. Quote Link to comment
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