[Kishi]

 

See? It's topical.

 

Sorry I'm late. As I like to say, I think of challenges as things that we do first and foremost, and I started the challenge but I never posted it.

 

So here are the big goals for the year:

• I want to get my freaking apartment cleaned up finally.
• I want to lose a significant amount of weight, because I have a significant amount to lose.
• I want to graduate to pain free movement.
• I want to complete a draft of the novel and get it before some beta readers.
• I want to go to therapy.
• I want to start dating again.

 

A lot of these goals are... in progress already. After asking @The Most Loathed and thinking about it some, I decided to download the Renaissance Periodization diet app. Not because I need someone to tell me what to do but because I think it's useful to have something to help me track general trends in weight and tell me, "Hey, this is looking good," or "Hey, this is looking not so good and maybe you should change some things." I started up a weight loss phase for myself officially on the 17th and so far I'm looking good. You wouldn't think having a line chart trending the proper direction would make a big difference, and maybe it doesn't make a big difference for most people, but it sure does help me. My training, in the meantime, is helping my knee feel better, and work got off my back enough for me to start making mat time again, which is heckin' dope.

 

So, looking back at my goals, I'm kind of vibing with the cleaning goal the most. It feels appropriate to the season, and a bunch of stuff kind of started to happen to convince me that it's just time:

• found some apartment repair opportunities that I don't want to haggle with my landlord about and I'd rather do myself
• I'm meditating more lately and it's cleaning out my headspace something nice
• I got another calcium score for my heart and it looks like there's more calcium in there despite our best efforts. This is an early warning of potential coronary artery disease, and given my family history of heart attacks, it's only a matter of time. After talking it over with my primary care provider, we're looking at starting up EDTA IV treatment, which is something that's normally used for things like lead poisoning and the detoxification of other heavy metals. It's not guaranteed to do anything about my heart, but it's not contraindicated either and there's a chance it could do me some good. I'll be paying out of pocket for it, I think, but that's what my HSA is for and I'm always under budget on that thing anyway, so it's not like I can't afford it. I think. I guess we'll see.

 

So, just a lot going on to make me feel like it's time, and with the onset of spring, I figure, what the hell?

 

The goal is a riff on my standard thing. Normally it's been clear up one piece of trash or properly store one thing. The riff is, I'm going to double that - two pieces of trash or 2 things properly stored, or a combination thereof. Each of these is going to be from the 2 spaces in my apartment: one from my job space, and one from my personal space.

 

I'm also going to spice this up with some rewards, too: I picked up a book on home repair and it includes some tool lists for some of the jobs I want to get done. Every week that I do 80% or better, I will reward myself with a trip to the hardware store to pick up a tool. By the end of these 5 weeks, I should have the tools I need to start on the repairs I want to do. Whether that starts or not at the end of those weeks is gonna depend on where and how I find myself, but that'll be a problem for future Kishi to solve when he's collected enough data and changed his circumstances enough to make an intelligent decision.

 

As I said, I've been at this now for a bit and the stats are as follows:

 

Goal: 2.5/4

 

That is not 80%! So, I'm going to have to pick up (harrrr) my pace a bit if I want to get what I need to get my work done.

 

The week's been decent so far. I've been missed at the academy, which warmed my heart some to realize, and so this week I've been pushing myself to get my "Strength At Length" work done in the morning. It's worked the past couple days, but it didn't happen today, so tonight is strength/rehab and rest. I've been recommitting to home drilling too to keep myself honest and sharpen up a little bit. Today's been kind of shit show, enough to derail my training but not more or worse than I've complained about before here. And hey, it's a short week on account of Good Friday, so a 3-day weekend will be nice. Only bad part is, they're gonna hold me to a full week's worth of productivity without a full week to do the work. That's never fun. But that's par for the course, and I did manage to solve some significant problems today. So that's good news.

 

This is fine.

 

 

Yup. Nothing to see here, folks. Just keep on moving.

 

Fire cleanses, after all.

 

[sarakingdom]

[Sovalis]

 

Following!

[Scaly Freak]

[Mistr]

[Mad Hatter]

[Kishi]

On 3/27/2024 at 11:15 PM, Sovalis said:

 

Following!

 

 

On 3/28/2024 at 1:14 AM, Scaly Freak said:

 

Oh that's not even a little fair

 

On 3/28/2024 at 5:41 PM, Mistr said:

 

Badass, but I'm a lot more like

 

 

On 3/29/2024 at 5:04 AM, Mad Hatter said:

 

NVM, I'm much more like this

 

*

 

Goal: 5.5/7

 

78.6%. Damn.

 

Not my strongest start. It's actually easy enough that I don't feel like I have an excuse. Just missed on account of negligence.  But, if I keep up, I should be ready for next week.

 

This week was remarkable for some return to the mats. Also, the first round of EDTA, which was... nothing to write home about? Which is good, in a way: if there was something wrong with me like lead poisoning or something, we'd expect this to make me feel bad in the 24 hours after. But, nothing. That was good, I guess.

 

Job's... not great, but that's nothing new. Got some overtime, but that's going to be complicated somewhat at least this week because I'm down to Charleston again. This will be another writer's retreat, although this time we'll have an extra body down there. So that'll be good.

 

I won't be counting my travel time against myself, which means that by the time I'm back, I'll probably be looking for tools to carry forward with.

 

And, uh, yeah. We carry on.

[Kishi]

Goal: 5.5/8

 

Oh, boo, Kishi, boooo. Weren't you just writing a bit ago about how you were hoping to get over 80%?

 

Well, in my defense, I spent last night on a bit of a high. I'm not the most sports-oriented person, but my alma mater - NC State - is doing really well in the March Madness tournament. We normally make it to the dance and we sometimes make it to the Sweet 16, but the team doesn't normally go further than that. This time, NC State's made it to the Final Four, which hasn't happened since 1983.

 

As a rule, I haven't been terribly invested in sports and how they go. While I find individual games to be entertaining, I think the whole business around sports serves as a distraction from more meaningful and important business - it's the circus part of the bread and circuses keeping us complacent. And also, I'm resisting the urge to see the performance in the underdog terms that the broadcasts try to push. NC State normally does pretty well, actually; it's been a regular to semi-regular team in the March tournament. They beat a lot of teams to get there pretty consistently; it's just that the other two schools - UNC and Duke - consistently do better. I also consciously have to resist the tendency to say that "We" are doing well; the branding of the team is strong, and I was a student there once upon a time. It's too easy to identify with it and feel somehow as if the team's accomplishments are mine somehow. I know better.

 

OTOH, holy smokes. My school's team made the Final 4. That hasn't happened since before I was born. And they're putting on good games to make it happen. Watching them play Duke and slow walk away with it was something to see, and I rode that high all night. Also, so did my town. I live a few blocks away from the university and I could hear the car horns and cheering from where I live.

 

It's unusual, and it's kind of fun to have this type of energy in my town for once.

 

But I did allow myself to be distracted and I rode the high instead of doing my cleaning. Mm. Not good.

 

Training and nutrition have been kind of weird. I switched over to a more equipment-oriented knee program after determining that I really wasn't strong enough in my knees for the shred program I wanted to do originally. It's been pretty intense, and unlike the last program it's... sloppy. There's a lot of emphasis on the hamstrings in this new program and it's enough to make me think that the program itself is kind of faulty. Like it calls for Nordic Hamstring Eccentrics (a really intense hamstring exercise) and Romanian Deadlifts (a hamstring-oriented deadlift variant) both on the same day 3 days a week. Y'all, that's an awful lot of volume and it's way more than one might expect given the prior emphasis on efficiency and doing what has to be done. It's enough to make me think that this particular program's fallen between the cracks a bit: the ATG folk are constantly trying to improve and optimize their programs, which is commendable, but they don't really do it across the board and I just think this is an example of that. Especially since I picked up some pain in my right hamstring and lower back that feels like a strain rather than DOMS.

 

Freaking booooooo, man.

 

It is not enough to persuade me to stop paying for access to their programs, because they have an exercise library and the programs are likely going to get better in time. It is enough, however, to convince me that I should take a crack at creating my own program using their principles. Especially since my knees have got markedly better in the past couple weeks - some lingering knee pain that I used to pick up on my walks as all but disappeared, which is amazing. Some of that may be down to them, but it's also down to some choices I've made in incorporating exercises to address my knee pain.

 

Fun times, I tells ya.

 

The nutrition part's been weird in that my numbers were going the right way for a while and then they reversed. And I was freaking out about it until just this morning, when I realized that my scale is sensitive enough to detect shifts in my weight, and I was shifting myself to see past some stuff that's in the way of my readout such that it made me heavier. I moved the scale, stepped on, centered my weight, and found that I'm down to 89.5 kgs - .7 off from the 88.8 goal I set a couple weeks ago that I was supposed to hit 2 weeks from now. Meaning I'm way ahead of schedule, and I didn't even know it because of how I was interacting with my instruments. Fortunately, I had enough other data points in terms of body fat percentage to know that something had to be off somewhere. It's good to have everything back on track.

 

So, yeah.

 

I suppose I should also mention I'm back on caffeine again as per the tea protocol and my brain is on fire, wheeeeeeee

 

 

I will not be making the mats this week. I have limited clearance for overtime and a significant part of that is to be used helping one of my co-workers who's out on medical leave. If I wasn't traveling partway through the week and didn't have social obligations on Tuesday, it'd be a different story, but them's the breaks this week. It's OK, though. It'll give me time to actually, you know, write up the program that I've just realized I'll have to make and stick to for the next 12 weeks.

 

 

Right. Let's do this.

[Mad Hatter]

Boo about the strain, but it's cool that you've learned enough to spot issues in programming!

[Kishi]

5 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Boo about the strain, but it's cool that you've learned enough to spot issues in programming!

 

Yeah, just not wise enough to do something about it before it's too late.

 

*

 

Goal: 7.5/10

 

Not there yet. It's gonna be a tight squeeze if I don't keep up with this. But I have got back on track the past couple days, and my place is looking better as I go. Or at least a bit more organized.

 

Yesterday was also the 1st day of the new lifting program! I'm kind of building the plane in the air as I fall, but so far I think it's OK?

 

So, the idea of this program if summed up in a single sentence is: "Balanced strength at length built from the ground up." Basically, it's about getting strong on as many possible ends of a given movement as one possibly can, with the idea being to build and remodel tendons and muscles literally from the toes and ankles on up. To give you an example, ATG folk would say that we do plenty of walking forward, but we don't do enough walking backward, so backwards mobility is a huge component of warming up and mobilizing tissues. From there, with the feet warmed up, you move on to tibial raises and calf raises, with the idea being to do these both straight and bent if possible.

 

It carries on from there. And I'm not spreading anything that they haven't talked about publicly on their channels already. For me, this came out looking like:

 

-Reverse Farmer's Carries

 

-Kettlebell Tib Raises

-Straight Leg Calf Raise

-Bent Leg Seated Kettlebell Calf Raise

 

-Touchdown Single Leg Squat

 

-ATG Split Squat

 

-Nordic Hamstring Curl

-L-sit Practice

-Single Leg Wall Sits

 

-Stretch/Cooldown

 

Takes about an hour to do, but that's about what the ATG programs normally take. The big idea with most of these is to get to 2-3 sets of 25 each. There's no hurry. Greater priority is on getting there without any of my joints hurting and with real emphasis on mastery of whatever weight I'm working with.

 

Too soon to say if it's any good or not, but it's a good start and no complaints yet.

 

Was hoping to do some upper body stuff today, but I got up late and the job snared me before I could get to it. Gotta stay late tonight at the office and then it'll be off to sci fi night. Could save the training for tomorrow but I don't really want to. Although, that kind of scheduling flexibility is a gray area now, isn't it? I mean, after all, if I miss in the morning and it's acceptable to skip, then I could go to BJJ and it not be any kind of issue at all. But that could lead to me neglecting my training here and getting banged up more, which is the thing I'm trying to solve.

 

I dunno how it's gonna work out yet. But this is the week for catching as catch can, it seems.

[Mad Hatter]

11 hours ago, Kishi said:

To give you an example, ATG folk would say that we do plenty of walking forward, but we don't do enough walking backward

This reasoning makes absolutely no sense to me, but it's a great idea for my weird gym antics. 😄

[Mistr]

I think your new training program makes sense. Having happier knees is a great thing.

 

I get it about being happy for NC State winning against bigger schools. I have been in Ames when Iowa State played Univ. of Iowa, and you could hear the cheering a mile from the stadium.

[Kishi]

13 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

This reasoning makes absolutely no sense to me, but it's a great idea for my weird gym antics. 😄

 

Then give it a shot. See what happens.

 

4 hours ago, Mistr said:

I think your new training program makes sense. Having happier knees is a great thing.

 

I'm certainly enjoying it!

 

4 hours ago, Mistr said:

I get it about being happy for NC State winning against bigger schools. I have been in Ames when Iowa State played Univ. of Iowa, and you could hear the cheering a mile from the stadium.

 

I bet! It's kind of novel around here.

 

*

 

Goal: 8.5/11

 

Got back late last night and elected to focus on getting down early rather than train and wake myself up. Guess I get to explore the gray area this week as far as programming goes. I originally had an idea that I would do some upper body stuff and the lower body stuff both today, but decided against it because sticking to schedule like that would leave me under-rested for any kind of potential work tomorrow.

 

Not much to say about today. It's just been work and do a little cleaning. I keep telling myself I'm going to train, but the job keeps being more important, so it's eating up my time. It's frustrating to have stuff I want to do and not be able to despite ostensibly being allowed to do so.

 

Between that and the sense that I'm working really, really hard to get nowhere, I'm actually pretty frustrated today, and that frustration's coloring my perceptions of a lot including the next couple days. Going off on retreat doesn't feel like fun right now; it just feels like more work. Which, to be fair, it is, but it's work I actually want to do with people I like, and that's... hard for me to remember at the moment. But I'm trying.

 

Besides, if I caved to my emotions and tried to back out now, what would be the point of everything I gave up to get here? It's not like it'll be better later. It'll actually be worse. So, best to just put my head down and get done what's gotta get done.

[Sovalis]

I really hope it ends up being refreshing and amazing and everything you need it to be. 

[Kishi]

11 hours ago, Sovalis said:

I really hope it ends up being refreshing and amazing and everything you need it to be. 

 

Me too! It already helps that I didn't have to get up to go do my job this morning.

 

*

 

Goal: 9.5/12

 

Got through the job last night. Got messaged by my boss that one of my other coworkers is going to be out the next couple of days too, so they're gonna have a chaotic time managing our caseloads. I actually do feel for her with that. The job assigns cases to analysts regardless of whether they're there to work those cases or not. It's part of the reason I have such a hard time taking time away from the job; everyone's getting smashed all the time and nobody's ever really able to help as much as help is really needed. It used to be that every day off I took meant I'd have three days of work to catch back up. Thankfully, I've got a lot better since then, and I can get it done in one now, but it's a hell of a damn day to come back to between phone calls from sick and hurting claimants and so many emails from the bosses and the call center about how everything's on fire and this thing needed to be done yesterday.

 

My friends did offer to postpone the retreat when we were first planning it, but I was actually the one who pressed them to keep it here and now, when things are this bad, because they're always this bad, and later will be worse because I'll have less money (I'm only paid once a month) and still have all this shit to come back to. So, might as well do it now.

 

 

But like I said, waking up this morning without the job to do was the first step of this retreat being worthwhile.  Didn't get up in time to get training done since I'm going to be playing chauffeur for one of my friends, so I gotta go pack and get on the road. I did get some training done last night - push ups, scap pull ups, band pull aparts, and a bunch of stuff for my elbows. Did the elbow movements without any kind of weight which actually felt kind of silly, but also made the tendons feel nice and warm instead of that icy lightning feeling when they're mad at me. The move, again, is to add reps nice and slow.

 

And today would have been another day of hamstring training, but it'll keep. And anyway, it gives me more time to suss out the nuances of hamstring training to make sure that when I come back, I don't get hurt again. I already know that Ben Patrick, Mr. Toes, doesn't push for doing certain movements more than one time per week, which makes me think that I need to start approaching hamstring work as having one working set with lots of warm up sets to get to the weight I'm trying to move. Which is a long term problem to worry about since ATM I'm just moving with light weight, like not even 45 lbs.

 

It's just something to keep thinking about. I'll have time.

[Kishi]

Goal: 12.5/15

 

83.3%. Repeating, of course~.

 

Howdy, folks! Back up north after retreating down south for to write.

 

It was mostly an awesome time. I got a ton of work done and I learned a lot about what it takes for me to feel good about life. I think I've ironed out a morning routine that will help me with that, although it's been hard to implement the past couple of days because I didn't really sleep the 2 days I was down.

 

Which means I've been going to bed early and getting up relatively late to make up that wee little deficit I picked up.

 

Why didn't I sleep? I mean, I've always had trouble sleeping when traveling or when in new environs. And in this instance, I stayed in my friend's apartment. He only had a particularly uncomfortable couch to sleep on with lots of external light and the noise of his snoring to keep me up. About all I could do was just rest my eyes for 8 hours, which... wasn't fun.

 

But the retreat was not defined by this! This retreat was very different from last time because we had twice as many people. 1st morning was supposed to be free and clear but my friend I was staying with got called into the library because he forgot to get someone to cover his opening shift. We got there and found that everything was covered and the place hadn't burnt down, so we took a long walk in Charleston to go to a breakfast spot to meet the other friends.

 

After that, the day was meditation, free-writing, then project/draft work all day with breaks for chess, which I contend is not a break at all given how much energy that uses up. Saturday was more of the same before we had to get on the road. The drive back was pretty painful given how tired I was, but I made it back safe and sound.

 

Sunday, I got up and went to roll, which was fun. Went to visit my folks in the afternoon. Dad did steaks on the grill because he thought I had worked very had and deserved it, which, just. ❤️

 

Anyway, that brings me to today. The job still sucks and I'm not going to get any OT for last week because I didn't work a full week, so the extra hours I worked are basically just folded in. And I was deprived today of a tool/process I was using to close cases more easily for no real reason at all. So, the job still sucks. But that's nothing new.

 

Haven't really eaten yet today. Hm. Need to do something about that.

[Mistr]

Yay for having a good time at the retreat in spite of challenges!

 

21 hours ago, Kishi said:

Why didn't I sleep? I mean, I've always had trouble sleeping when traveling or when in new environs. And in this instance, I stayed in my friend's apartment. He only had a particularly uncomfortable couch to sleep on with lots of external light and the noise of his snoring to keep me up. About all I could do was just rest my eyes for 8 hours, which... wasn't fun.

 

I have found that earplugs and an eye mask are essential for me sleeping in strange places. I strongly dislike using both of them, but they are better than the alternative. 

 

21 hours ago, Kishi said:

But the retreat was not defined by this! This retreat was very different from last time because we had twice as many people. 1st morning was supposed to be free and clear but my friend I was staying with got called into the library because he forgot to get someone to cover his opening shift. We got there and found that everything was covered and the place hadn't burnt down, so we took a long walk in Charleston to go to a breakfast spot to meet the other friends.

 

After that, the day was meditation, free-writing, then project/draft work all day with breaks for chess, which I contend is not a break at all given how much energy that uses up. Saturday was more of the same before we had to get on the road. The drive back was pretty painful given how tired I was, but I made it back safe and sound.

 

Sunday, I got up and went to roll, which was fun. Went to visit my folks in the afternoon. Dad did steaks on the grill because he thought I had worked very had and deserved it, which, just. ❤️

 

All great things!

 

21 hours ago, Kishi said:

Anyway, that brings me to today. The job still sucks and I'm not going to get any OT for last week because I didn't work a full week, so the extra hours I worked are basically just folded in. And I was deprived today of a tool/process I was using to close cases more easily for no real reason at all. So, the job still sucks. But that's nothing new.

 

My sympathy on the job woes. So much suck.

 

In a sane world, your department would have enough people to handle the caseload so that people could take the time off they are promised as part of their compensation package. 

 

The skills you have developed in communication and case handling could easily be transferred to project management at a private company. Just sayin.

[Everstorm]

Glad no-sleep didn't derail your weekend. Sounds like it was a good one!

[Scaly Freak]

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

In a sane world, your department would have enough people to handle the caseload so that people could take the time off they are promised as part of their compensation package. 

 

The skills you have developed in communication and case handling could easily be transferred to project management at a private company. Just sayin.

 

 

No need to do anything about it right now, but keep that resume current...  

[Kishi]

2 hours ago, Mistr said:

Yay for having a good time at the retreat in spite of challenges!

 

2 minutes ago, Everstorm said:

Glad no-sleep didn't derail your weekend. Sounds like it was a good one!

 

Thanks, y'all! Yeah, it was pretty dope. I like the people I hung out with and I spent my days doing stuff I wanted to do.

 

2 hours ago, Mistr said:

I have found that earplugs and an eye mask are essential for me sleeping in strange places. I strongly dislike using both of them, but they are better than the alternative. 

 

Yeah, those might not be a bad idea for next time no matter what next time looks like.

 

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

My sympathy on the job woes. So much suck.

 

In a sane world, your department would have enough people to handle the caseload so that people could take the time off they are promised as part of their compensation package. 

 

In a sane world, I would contend that the department wouldn't exist at all. 😈

 

As it is, my unit's fully staffed, but there's only a few of us who are trained in such a way to work the cases that I was assigned while I was out. And it so happens that I took time when the other 2 people who are trained on my case types were out for their own reasons, so one of my bosses was stuck opening up all of our cases and working the loads. Frankly, I think the powers that be could have stopped our assignments and ought to do so whenever we have situations like this come up because as it stands - and as I've complained here before, and I'm sure you remember - we are basically penalized for it whenever we use any of the benefits we're supposedly entitled to.

 

Like I have all this vacation time that I never use, and while it rolls over to sick time, that never applies because I can just work from home if sick. I use my sick leave now for dr's appointments and mental health days, and it's never good to use it because in those cases, nobody helps with my caseload at all so I'm stuck making up the lost day all by myself.

 

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

The skills you have developed in communication and case handling could easily be transferred to project management at a private company. Just sayin.

 

2 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

No need to do anything about it right now, but keep that resume current...  

 

Hmm. That is a thought. Definitely worth looking into. I think I'm paranoid about losing my insurance and pension, as well as the public servant student loan forgiveness, but OTOH I'd boost my pay by about 30-50%, and that is not insignificant.

 

Not something to rush into until I have a sober grasp of the facts of my situation and what I'd be getting into. But definitely worth looking at, and not a direction I thought to go in. Thanks for that. 

 

*

 

Goal: 13.5/16

 

Percentages are looking better! I keep this up, I'll be taking inventory of my tools and taking a trip to Lowe's to get what I need for what I gotta get done with around here.

 

Think my sleep deficit is doing better. Woke up and felt human for the first time in the past few days. Kind of groggy, but the normal amount. Trained late last night because I got an itch to do so, so I did arms and some elbow-specific ATG rehab. Trying to play around some with what my elbow can handle and what it can't. The rehab stuff thankfully doesn't set anything off but I'm doing ring rows and assisted dips and something in that combination is aggravating my elbow some. It's actually kind of hard to parse just what exactly is, so the plan is to play with range of motion and figure out what doesn't hurt. Stay there for a good 12 weeks or so and then reassess.

 

The only bad part about today from that perspective was that I was up in the morning too late to do all the morning stuff I wanted to do. Did most of it, but didn't train, and I prioritize that over mat time since it helps me feel better. So no mat time tonight, even though it was possible since my friends were off for the evening. Boooo.

 

OTOH, weight's down below 90kg for the second time in the past few weeks. Kind of surprised that caloric restriction is working. Figured out, though, that I wasn't using my scale properly and finally managed to set it down some place so that it would give me consistent measurements. That's... really gratifying to know.

 

I'll do some knee/leg work tonight and call it, I think.

[Scaly Freak]

3 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Hmm. That is a thought. Definitely worth looking into. I think I'm paranoid about losing my insurance and pension, as well as the public servant student loan forgiveness, but OTOH I'd boost my pay by about 30-50%, and that is not insignificant.

 

Those are all things worth holding on too. the trick is to recognize when the job demands so much that it stop being worth the stress and the long-term effects that stress will have. But you knew that already, so I'll shut up now.  

[Kishi]

42 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

Those are all things worth holding on too. the trick is to recognize when the job demands so much that it stop being worth the stress and the long-term effects that stress will have. But you knew that already, so I'll shut up now.  

 

But you're right, though! Jumping to another job because of my frustration is an emotional response, but so is staying because of fear of loss.

 

So, gotta figure out what I've got and what I can get and if it's worth it or not. I figure, go about it slow and sober-like, right?

[Scaly Freak]

31 minutes ago, Kishi said:

So, gotta figure out what I've got and what I can get and if it's worth it or not. I figure, go about it slow and sober-like, right?

 

Exactly. First think, then act. Not the other way around!

[Mad Hatter]

On 4/3/2024 at 11:51 PM, Kishi said:

Then give it a shot. See what happens.

I did! I started going backwards but using only one part of my foot, trying to move as softly as possible and not kathunking all over. Surprisingly tricky, especially on the heels. Then I did the same with duckwalks, but I quickly got distracted and started spinning around instead. I don't remember what else I did. But I had fun experimenting.

 

7 hours ago, Kishi said:

But you're right, though! Jumping to another job because of my frustration is an emotional response, but so is staying because of fear of loss.

To be blunt, from what I've been reading your workplace seems to mostly suck and they treat you like shit. It reminds me of my old job. As I see it changing jobs wouldn't be an impulsive emotional response as it's been brewing for many, many months. It might make sense to work there either if the work itself was amazingly awesome/important, or if they payed you loads and you could restrict it for a fixed time. But is it really worth your mental and physical wellbeing? 

[Kishi]

11 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I did! I started going backwards but using only one part of my foot, trying to move as softly as possible and not kathunking all over. Surprisingly tricky, especially on the heels. Then I did the same with duckwalks, but I quickly got distracted and started spinning around instead. I don't remember what else I did. But I had fun experimenting.

 

Cool! Glad to hear that the strange things I talk about here let you have some fun.

 

11 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

To be blunt, from what I've been reading your workplace seems to mostly suck and they treat you like shit. It reminds me of my old job. As I see it changing jobs wouldn't be an impulsive emotional response as it's been brewing for many, many months. It might make sense to work there either if the work itself was amazingly awesome/important, or if they payed you loads and you could restrict it for a fixed time. But is it really worth your mental and physical wellbeing? 

 

Well, to be really blunt, nobody gets out of life alive, and no job is going to care about my mental and physical wellbeing beyond what it takes for me to be productive. That's going to be true no matter where I go, so it doesn't make sense to just jump away from where I am and have faith that things will somehow magically be better wherever I land. That's just not a thing.

 

A job change can be a reasonable response to things, but I don't think I'll be served well if I do it as a reaction to a particularly acute bout of suck on the job's part.