Snarkyfishguts: DBL

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

On 8/8/2023 at 10:40 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

Only Murders In The Building

 

I've been thinking of starting the series.

 

So glad to hear all of the good news with your dad!!

[Snarkyfishguts]

3 minutes ago, Chris-Tien Jinn said:

 

I've been thinking of starting the series.

 

it’s really FUN. And I like the way it’s written. There was only one moment in season 2 that broke my heart but everything else has been delightful. 

3 minutes ago, Chris-Tien Jinn said:

So glad to hear all of the good news with your dad!!

Thanks!!

[Snarkyfishguts]

Dad got his foley catheter removed today and life is good. He is officially tubeless!

 

I’m tired today, but feeling good. I finally set up my Fitbit nutrition goals so it will let me know if I need to exercise more today or not to reach my weekly weight loss goal. It’s a nifty tool. I couldn’t do it on the app but on the website and discovered loads of information there. I don’t want to get in too deep though. I just want to basically log in and see “do I need to go for another walk today?”  Which I know the answer to that is always “sure!” ?

[Snarkyfishguts]

Boy, am I tired! I'm not sleeping well right now, and I'm a little too stressed out. Today I am going to go hang out with my cousin and then I'm going to do a little light shopping. I'll get some practical stuff and some silly stuff. 

 

I'm not making weight loss progress, but I'm not gaining weight either. I don't think it's a surprise that I stopped losing weight after Dad got home. I'm glad he's home, but it's stressful. He's a lot of work right now, and again, I'm not sleeping much, so I feel hungry all the time, when I'm just really tired. So this week, my priority is managing my stress so I can sleep better at night, which means a few things:

 

1. Have more fun. Not just doing stuff to kill time while Dad is sleeping or reactive "I'm stressed out and gonna numb out with some animal crossing. I mean actively doing things I enjoy before I'm exhausted. 

 

2. Remember that cleaning schedule? Stick to it. Every day is unexpected with Dad, but I can count on having time to clean the house and even if he's in the room, I can say "stick in your ear buds, I'm going to vacuum for 10 minutes" 

 

3. Have quiet time before bed. No looking at the news, no checking social media, no solving puzzles.  Reading a book, drawing a picture, writing in my journal. Screen-free relaxing time.

 

4. Set my alarm for 6:30AM and don't get out of bed before then. 

 

5. Exercise with more oomph, and rest when I feel like I need it. Fitbit doesn't know when I'm tired. It guesses, but it's usually wrong.  I'm in charge, not this little device. YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO FITBIT. 

 

Let's try it out this week and see how it goes.  I recognize this will not happen in one night, but I'm hoping that just having a plan will help ease my racing thoughts and allow me to sleep better. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

also, I love a good list. I feel better already  

[Snarkyfishguts]

I’m not at my best this week, so I may avoid posting because i’m just anxious and hormonal. I’m gonna go chill out. 

[RES]

On 8/12/2023 at 9:29 AM, Snarkyfishguts said:

also, I love a good list. I feel better already  

I wouldn't know what to do without lists!

 

42 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I’m not at my best this week, so I may avoid posting because i’m just anxious and hormonal. I’m gonna go chill out. 

((hugs))

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

Do what you need to do. Taking care of yourself is important. We are here when you need us.

[Shello]

<4

[Sovalis]

?

[Snarkyfishguts]

On 8/13/2023 at 1:23 PM, RES said:

I wouldn't know what to do without lists!

They are so fantastic. It's like a warm comforter that is also voice over navigation LOL. 

On 8/13/2023 at 1:23 PM, RES said:

((hugs))

((hugs back))

On 8/13/2023 at 4:53 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Do what you need to do. Taking care of yourself is important. We are here when you need us.

Thank you Tank. ?

On 8/14/2023 at 12:26 AM, Shello said:

<4

<4

 

9 hours ago, Sovalis said:

?

?

 

 

 

Dad news: He is out of the guestroom and back upstairs for good. We moved all his stuff upstairs yesterday. He went up and down the stairs three times, did his PT twice, and took two good naps. He's got a good balance of work and rest. He was so happy to be back in his office sitting in his chair. He still needs a lot of monitoring because he keeps trying to do things he shouldn't. Mom says he is like a child, when it gets too quiet, we know he's doing something he shouldn't be.  But we're definitely over the worst of it now. 

 

I worked in the yard for two hours and I really enjoyed it. The sun was out, and it was hard work, and it really helped with the physical stress that had built up in my body. I'm not ready for this stage of life with my parents, and I know they aren't either. But I feel like there's this red timer ticking down and we need to really do the things we want to do and take better care of ourselves to keep the timer from moving too fast. I also need to start thinking about life without them. Do I want to be alone or no? What do I want from my life, and how I need to make some decisions in the next five years. But I don't have to make them all today and some things I know I want right now, so I can get started on them right away.  I just wish I didn't have this acute sense of mortality sitting on me so heavily. But I know that feeling will ease up eventually too.  But for today, I'm going to exercise, clean, go to the dentist and hang out with Dad and keep him from going up the stairs without a spotter. 

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

It's a tough place to be when you start realizing that your parents won't always be there, but it is very important to get clarity on what you want out of life.  Take it slow .... journal and do vision boards.

 

(So glad your dad is making great progress in his recovery!!)

[Snarkyfishguts]

2 hours ago, Chris-Tien Jinn said:

It's a tough place to be when you start realizing that your parents won't always be there, but it is very important to get clarity on what you want out of life.  Take it slow .... journal and do vision boards.

 

(So glad your dad is making great progress in his recovery!!)

Thanks.  I'm going to give myself a full year to figure it out. That gives me time to focus on my health and try on a few different hats. 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Massive migraine attacked yesterday and today like I haven’t had in ages. This month and last month they sneaked up on me out of schedule and I think we can all agree it’s been unusually stressful around here, and I am gonna call that our culprit. I still can’t look at screens too long but the worst is over now and I am happy to be out of bed. The bright side is, I got to read some physical books and work on knitting. And sleeping. I am officially caught up on sleep. It would’ve been really nice except for the actual migraine lol. 
 

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

One of my neighbors is singing loudly to his music while walking the dogs and I really enjoy his positive energy he's putting out in the world. 

 

It's time for a weekly review: 

I weighed in early today and the scale said 230.9. Official weigh day is Monday, and I'll do it, but I'm so happy about right now that I couldn't wait to share it.  Biggest difference this week was actually resting, so by body was clearly communicating its need with a migraine to slow the heck down.  My head still aches. 

 

My snug clothes now fit pretty well, and my "too big" donation pile has grown. I'm not at a place where I feel ready to donate these yet. Maybe in another 10 or 20 pounds.  But for now, they are sitting clean and folded in my bottom drawer waiting for their ride out of here. 

 

Dad gets better then he pushes too hard at the end of the week and has to recover all weekend. I realized while typing this his surgery was on a friday and I think he feels like he needs to do something big each week. So we're going to have a little chit chat where once again, I remind him that steady progress is faster than this forced progress followed by days of recovering.  Mom is READY for him to be well. I'm really ready too, but that doesn't change reality.  ARGH, WHILE I WAS TYPING, THE MAN JUST STACKED ACTIVITIES and is exhausted. I gotta go. See you Monday! 

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

He is now resting. I did not yell at him, I just made sure he was comfy and had no reason to move for an hour lol. 

[DrFeelgood]

3 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

...just made sure he was comfy and had no reason to move for an hour lol. 

 

Can you teach this to my daughter, please? 

 

Wouldn't help anyway, MFG and I just got back from taking her to college.

[Snarkyfishguts]

15 hours ago, DrFeelgood said:

 

Can you teach this to my daughter, please? 

 

Wouldn't help anyway, MFG and I just got back from taking her to college.

I hope she has an excellent year at college!

 

I hope you stay in the quality health that doesn't make your daughter feel like she has to settle you down for the afternoon so you don't hurt yourself lol.  Stay healthy, friend.

[Snarkyfishguts]

This week is off to a fine start. The plumber was here to fix a leak which turned out the toilet in my parents bathroom wasn't sealed properly, proving that the old plumber was in fact, an ass. He also fixed the water heater that the old plumber installed poorly, and overall, it was a good day. This current plumber has fixed a LOT of mistakes from the old plumber, and we like him a lot. Also his text tone is R2D2, and his ring tone is also Star Wars themed which really put my mom at ease when we first met him.  LOL he literally just said "I know the guy who did this work, and he likes cutting corners and using cheap materials. I have been fixing a lot of his work lately." 

 

I started going back to work, which feels really nice. I dont' want to talk about it more than that, because I have a lot to do, and I don't want to get a false sense of "done" by talking about it before it's done, which is what almost always happens. Not this time. But I am excited to be working again, and my folks promised to give me space to get a lot of drawing done without a lot of interruptions. Which is ...unlikely But we'll get better at it.

[Snarkyfishguts]

Yesterday I was dealing with my parents traumatised child selves, and it was a long day. It helps me to think of it that way. "ah today the trauma is surfacing." and I know it's not about me.  And I'm learning to be okay with the fact it's rarely about me. I can take care of myself, and I'm finding some joy in that.  But the hard days are difficult, and I am very tired and lonely today. Oof. I'm ready for a day off, yeah?  Saturday I'm going hiking with my buddy. I can't wait. 

[Sovalis]

(Hugs offered)

 

I struggle with that with my mother too. Good for you for naming it and knowing it isn’t about you. ❤️ 

[Snarkyfishguts]

3 hours ago, Sovalis said:

(Hugs offered)

 

I struggle with that with my mother too. Good for you for naming it and knowing it isn’t about you. ❤️ 

Oof I am sorry. It’s a lot of work ?

 

We’re gonna be in it for a while at my house. But we’ll do our best 

[Snarkyfishguts]

Almost  2000 calories of feelings consumed today.  I should’ve napped but I didn’t, I just kept eating and I’m not happy with today but it’s been a hard day again. It’s ending well which makes me think tomorrow might be a lot better. 
 

. I’m opting not to do my morning self care, which is stupid. it really helps me feel better for the day. I’m adding it to my habitica so I won’t skip it again 

[Shello]

Great job on the weigh-in!  You're doing spectacularly despite all the stress and migraine nasty business!   Glad to see you are making self care a priority again too.  it's so easy to let that stuff slip.  

[Snarkyfishguts]

9 hours ago, Shello said:

Great job on the weigh-in!  You're doing spectacularly despite all the stress and migraine nasty business!   Glad to see you are making self care a priority again too.  it's so easy to let that stuff slip.  

 Thanks, friend. I really appreciate it.