[Sepherina]

[Sovalis]

[Harriet]

On 3/30/2024 at 8:02 PM, Scaly Freak said:

 

No, for now you are recovering. You are in a healing stasis. You're hibernating in order to restore energy.

 

Haven't we talked about this?  

 

We have. We have talked about the difficulty of knowing when the fatigue is caused by infection and when it might be caused by depression from inertia from inaction from fatigue from infection. Opposite strategies are required--do less and do more. The uncertainty upsets me. The fact that I am having another crash SO SOON after the last one upsets me. But I am almost happy that I have some physical symptoms right now, because it means the drop in motivation is not just a sign of a lack of commitment to lifting. I am resting completely. I am not going to rename the slug, though. It's a good name. Unless you think "slug phase" is an insult to the industrious slug. 

[Harriet]

Still sick. Will be back later. 

[Sovalis]

Thanks for letting us know. Sending love. 

[Sea-to-sky]

31 minutes ago, Harriet said:

We have talked about the difficulty of knowing when the fatigue is caused by infection and when it might be caused by depression from inertia from inaction from fatigue from infection. Opposite strategies are required--do less and do more. The uncertainty upsets me. The fact that I am having another crash SO SOON after the last one upsets me. But I am almost happy that I have some physical symptoms right now, because it means the drop in motivation is not just a sign of a lack of commitment to lifting

Being able to tell one from the other is really hard. Which sucks. 
i try to work a few short (and i mean short. Im talking half a mile or less) walks in can help to diagnose it. Works better if they can be somewhere you enjoy (and for me, ones that have low background noise levels. Eg. Without many people talking or piped music. Which i find tiring when i am low energy) and places to sit if you need to.  

if you can get somewhere with a bench where you can just sit and enjoy nature (parks are good if your not a country setting) that can be worthwhile, harder in the winter but cafes can be good. Botanical gardens. That kind of thing. 
all this kind of stuff helps your mood, which, even if it is post virus bs. Does still contribute to your general energy levels. 
take it slow though. Try not to push yourself too hard. 
dont be afraid to cut things short if needed or not go as far as you wanted to. You have to play it very much by ear and listen to your energy levels. 
wish i could give you a map for this crud, but i hope thats at least a constructive suggestion. 
 

things i find help me recharge. 
putting on movies ive watched before. Less energy required, dont need to concentrate on them as much. Low angst dramas are good. 
if you find reading doesnt tire you out (dyslexic here, so my situation may not be yours) try re-reading stuff. Again less energy. 
i actually have a “everything sucks” book i reread that i find helps. (Andy weir, life on mars. Because at least im not stuck on an alien planet)

stay off all social media. If you can turn the alerts off on your phone for 98% of stuff, do so. 

 

 

[Laghail]

Need bad tv/movie recommendations?

[Scaly Freak]

8 hours ago, Harriet said:

But I am almost happy that I have some physical symptoms right now, because it means the drop in motivation is not just a sign of a lack of commitment to lifting.

 

I don't think it ever was. For anyone, not just for you. But my opinion on motivation is that it's a myth that very polished people with painfully fake smiles invented in order to help them sell self-help books, so I'm hardly unbiased about it  

 

8 hours ago, Harriet said:

I am not going to rename the slug, though. It's a good name. Unless you think "slug phase" is an insult to the industrious slug. 

 

I would never dare speak for the industrious slugs.

 

I also forgot the second part of the slug conversation, and I appreciate that you were gracious and patient about reminding me.  

[Mad Hatter]

Take care!

 

Have you thought of magnolias in your new garden? There's a lot of them here and I love them, they're sooo pretty! Don't get them in Finland but Munich is the same climate as here.

[Harriet]

23 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Being able to tell one from the other is really hard. Which sucks. 
i try to work a few short (and i mean short. Im talking half a mile or less) walks in can help to diagnose it. 

 

Yes, Mad Hatter and I talked last time about using exercise to test whether the crash is over and I'm just moving into a phase of inertia and fatigue from inactivity. I have done short walks, and thusly established that I am fucked. 

 

21 hours ago, Laghail said:

Need bad tv/movie recommendations?

 

Thanks, but no; I'm picky about tv, and don't like most of it. I'm playing mass effect again. 😅

 

15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

I don't think it ever was. For anyone, not just for you. But my opinion on motivation is that it's a myth that very polished people with painfully fake smiles invented in order to help them sell self-help books, so I'm hardly unbiased about it  

 

Probably most people are not committed to most things, just to a few things they care about. I worry about not caring about anything at all, though, which is what happens when I'm fatigued. I don't care about anything, I don't do anything. It's below the minimum standard of a life that is worth living, in my opinion. So maybe you can understand why I want to hold on to the one thing I (sometimes) actually want to do, and feel anxious when my desire and interest shuts off. 

 

15 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

I would never dare speak for the industrious slugs.

 

I also forgot the second part of the slug conversation, and I appreciate that you were gracious and patient about reminding me.  

 

I don't actually remember all the details of our conversations about slug, but I do know it's a useful term that I like. Thanks for being here for such chats in any case 😊

 

2 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Take care!

 

Have you thought of magnolias in your new garden? There's a lot of them here and I love them, they're sooo pretty! Don't get them in Finland but Munich is the same climate as here.

 

Yes, magnolia is on the list of possible trees to put by the entrance, but Mr Harriet favours a pink blossomed cherry tree. I like the magnolia better, or maybe white cherry blossoms.

[Sea-to-sky]

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

y. I have done short walks, and thusly established that I am fucked. 

That truly sucks ☹️ sending big hugs. Wishing you comfy chairs and much tea. Also decent binge worthy low energy tv series. 

oh, if you like mass effect, have you played dragon age? I couldnt get on with the second one but the 1st and 3rd where fun

1 hour ago, Harriet said:

Probably most people are not committed to most things, just to a few things they care about. I worry about not caring about anything at all, though, which is what happens when I'm fatigued. I don't care about anything, I don't do anything. It's below the minimum standard of a life that is worth living, in my opinion. So maybe you can understand why I want to hold on to the one thing I (sometimes) actually want to do, and feel anxious when my desire and interest shuts off. 

Yeah, it is hard to have emotions when your in energy saver mode. 
your body goes into survival settings and stuff can get a bit weird. 
 

[Scaly Freak]

8 hours ago, Harriet said:

Probably most people are not committed to most things, just to a few things they care about. I worry about not caring about anything at all, though, which is what happens when I'm fatigued. I don't care about anything, I don't do anything. It's below the minimum standard of a life that is worth living, in my opinion. So maybe you can understand why I want to hold on to the one thing I (sometimes) actually want to do, and feel anxious when my desire and interest shuts off. 

 

Of course, that makes complete sense. 

 

Our of curiosity, are you able to do audiobooks or podcasts during the slug phases? I'm looking for good historical podcasts that are not fixated on modern history or medieval europe.

[sarakingdom]

45 minutes ago, Scaly Freak said:

I'm looking for good historical podcasts that are not fixated on modern history or medieval europe.

 

You're Dead to Me

[Scaly Freak]

31 minutes ago, sarakingdom said:

 

You're Dead to Me

 

SOLD

[sarakingdom]

13 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

SOLD

 

 

The radio edit episodes are duplicates, you can ignore those.

 

(Relevant to @Laghail 's interests, Sindhu Vee is in a few episodes, as are some other potential Slayers.)

[Mad Hatter]

16 hours ago, Harriet said:

Yes, magnolia is on the list of possible trees to put by the entrance, but Mr Harriet favours a pink blossomed cherry tree. I like the magnolia better, or maybe white cherry blossoms.

Magnolias are more elegant and eye catching, but plums and cherries are really cute and I love them too! I prefer the pinks. And I'm always pro plants that you can eat. 😄

 

16 hours ago, Harriet said:

I worry about not caring about anything at all, though, which is what happens when I'm fatigued. I don't care about anything, I don't do anything. It's below the minimum standard of a life that is worth living, in my opinion. 

I wonder how much depression is just a symptom of fatigue which in turn is a symptom of something else... 

Either way hope the slug phase passes quickly!

[Sea-to-sky]

20 hours ago, Harriet said:

magnolia is on the list of possible trees to put by the entrance, but Mr Harriet favours a pink blossomed cherry tree. I like the magnolia better, or maybe white cherry blossoms.

Magnolias are lovely, but they’re incredibly slow growing. So unless your willing to sped £50+ on something that will barely come up to your elbow, and then spend the next 30+ years watching it grow incrementally (or have a ton of money and can buy a mature one, i which case go for it, theyre amazing plants) a cherry might be more satisfying as something to go next to an entrance as it will hit a decent height resonably quickly. 

[Harriet]

14 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

Of course, that makes complete sense. 

 

Our of curiosity, are you able to do audiobooks or podcasts during the slug phases? I'm looking for good historical podcasts that are not fixated on modern history or medieval europe.

 

I do read and listen to podcasts but it tends to be low effort, "safety" topics like health and diet. I don't know why those are my go-to topics. It's quite boring, really. I guess I just feel like new topics might involve some mental capacity. 

 

14 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

You're Dead to Me

 

That is beautifully named. I have followed it on my app so I can listen when I feel up to it.

 

7 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Magnolias are more elegant and eye catching, but plums and cherries are really cute and I love them too! I prefer the pinks. And I'm always pro plants that you can eat. 😄

 

I like pink, but I don't like a garden full of ALL the colours. I wanted to keep it more streamlined so we agreed to focus on reds, yellows, and whites. Do cherry trees actually give edible cherries? We also have some grapes on the fence from the previous owner. And I think a small apple tree? Must check.

 

7 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I wonder how much depression is just a symptom of fatigue which in turn is a symptom of something else... 

 

Do you mean mine, or generally? In my case I have found that repeatedly overspending energy causes a profound deterioration in mood. But being sedentary also causes depression in me and in people generally.  I only recovered from my nearly 20 year long "depression" when I quit both work and study AND started walking daily. I only get depressive moods now occasionally--often around the end of crashes after being sick or overdoing it, but before I've gotten back to my routine. 

 

7 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Either way hope the slug phase passes quickly!

 

Thank you!

 

3 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Magnolias are lovely, but they’re incredibly slow growing. So unless your willing to sped £50+ on something that will barely come up to your elbow, and then spend the next 30+ years watching it grow incrementally (or have a ton of money and can buy a mature one, i which case go for it, theyre amazing plants) a cherry might be more satisfying as something to go next to an entrance as it will hit a decent height resonably quickly. 

 

Mr Harriet will buy grown trees. He is working with a landscape architect and will go to the nursery next week to choose some of the actual, individual trees. Hmmm. We should talk about the trees and colours before he goes. I cannot go--I cannot afford the energy cost of the train trips to another city and the walking around all day. This is disappointing, but it's what's happening with almost every aspect of the house: I am too tired to be very involved so Mr Harriet makes the decisions. I am consulted about as many things as possible, though, and I like how it's turning out.

[sarakingdom]

2 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Do cherry trees actually give edible cherries?

 

They sell both ornamental and edible cherry trees, so it depends what you buy. Most of the ornamentals are unpleasant to eat, but not all.

 

This site mentions two ornamental cherries that are also edible. The Morello is a sour (but edible) cherry that's considered a cooking cherry, and usually preserved in syrup or used in pies and things. Its benefit is that you only need one to get fruit. The Regina is a sweet cherry that was developed in Germany, so should work in your climate, but you need two to get cherries. Both are considered white flowers. The Morello may have just enough pink to be considered a compromise by Mr H.

 

There are likely others out there that do both. My feeling is, if you're going to be cleaning up the fruit that falls every year, may as well be edible. Less likely to fall and stain your walkway if you're eating it.

[Laghail]

On 3/31/2024 at 1:19 AM, WhiteGhost said:

In the evening all of went out to watch a live comedy troupe.  The troupe has been around for years but the members tend to move on so I think the entire cast was new since the last time we saw them.  Unfortunately, it seems they are now recycling old material and the show we saw last night was stuff we saw from a different cast 6 or 7 years ago.  I think the other guys did it better  

 

Boo, repeat material is only funny when it slays. 

 

On 4/2/2024 at 10:20 AM, Harriet said:

Thanks, but no; I'm picky about tv, and don't like most of it. I'm playing mass effect again. 😅

 

I love your decisiveness here. Please continue to be yourself.

 

On 4/2/2024 at 10:20 AM, Harriet said:

Yes, magnolia is on the list of possible trees to put by the entrance, but Mr Harriet favours a pink blossomed cherry tree. I like the magnolia better, or maybe white cherry blossoms.

 

I didn't realize magnolia's can thrive that far north! They hate my region, but since I'm on lake Michigan, my best European climate comparator is supposed to be Ukraine's black sea region. 

14 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

You're Dead to Me

 

Colour me interested!!

[Sea-to-sky]

51 minutes ago, Harriet said:

cannot go--I cannot afford the energy cost of the train trips to another city and the walking around all day. This is disappointing, but it's what's happening with almost every aspect of the house: I am too tired to be very involved so Mr Harriet makes the decisions

Get him to message you pics maybe when he find some nice ones. Then you get some input

 

53 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Mr Harriet will buy grown trees. He is working with a landscape architect and will go to the nursery next week to choose some of the actual, individual trees.

Oh super. Lucky you. There is a nursery here called burncoose that specialises in magnolia cultivars. They have 2 huge polly tunnels just of magnolias. What they do also have is a very good website, so it might be a good place to go look up picks and check flowering time. (Link here if your interested. Filtered it so it should just be the magnolias). 
 

im very fond of the big old fashioned magnolias that have the amazing smell.

[Salinger]

Hey Harriet, i am so sorry i havent been in your challenge. 

 

I miss you a lot. How are you? Are you feeling any better? Sending so much love and cuddles xx

[Harriet]

1 hour ago, Laghail said:

I love your decisiveness here. Please continue to be yourself.

I feel like a Granny Weatherwax quote is needed here. Your delicate praise of my bluntness makes me feel like I must be developing some haggardness (in the old sense: relating to witches and untamed hawks; wild, intractable). No quote comes to mind. Suffice it to say it had not occurred to me to be anyone else, and I am too tired to be someone else in any case. But I hope my dislike of television does not offend. 

 

1 hour ago, Laghail said:

I didn't realize magnolia's can thrive that far north! They hate my region, but since I'm on lake Michigan, my best European climate comparator is supposed to be Ukraine's black sea region. 

 

Apparently Germany's climate is not dissimilar to Japan's, so Mr Harriet has allowed his interest in Japanese architecture and gardens to seep into the house and garden design a bit. Not so you'd think it exotic or a mimicry. Just very general themes. For example, they are making the rooms somewhat clean and minimal with a focus on natural materials (wood, stone, brass). And some of the plants are from Japan. The red leafed maples, for example:

 

Spoiler

 

48 minutes ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Get him to message you pics maybe when he find some nice ones. Then you get some input

 

Yes, he cannot do that for every plant, but hopefully with the important ones, which to me is the ones with important colours. 

 

48 minutes ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Oh super. Lucky you. There is a nursery here called burncoose that specialises in magnolia cultivars. They have 2 huge polly tunnels just of magnolias. What they do also have is a very good website, so it might be a good place to go look up picks and check flowering time. (Link here if your interested. Filtered it so it should just be the magnolias). 
 

im very fond of the big old fashioned magnolias that have the amazing smell.

 

Thank you!

 

25 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Hey Harriet, i am so sorry i havent been in your challenge. 

 

I miss you a lot. How are you? Are you feeling any better? Sending so much love and cuddles xx

 

You can come by any time! Nothing much is happening at the moment, though, as I am in another crash. Love and cuddles gratefully received ❤️ 

[Mad Hatter]

3 hours ago, Harriet said:

I do read and listen to podcasts but it tends to be low effort, "safety" topics like health and diet. I don't know why those are my go-to topics. It's quite boring, really. I guess I just feel like new topics might involve some mental capacity. 

My currently favorite podcast is Ologies, it's a very cute, low effort high reward podcast where the host interviews different scientists in a very informal fun way. Topics from the blurb are "Volcanoes. Trees. Drunk butterflies. Mars missions. Slug sex. Death. Beauty standards. Anxiety busters. Beer science. Bee drama." Her contagious enthusiasm makes me happier about the world every time I listen. 

 

3 hours ago, Harriet said:

Do cherry trees actually give edible cherries

Well I've eaten cherries from random trees and I didn't die, so I assume yes. 😄 But I don't know anything about gardening, I just look at the trees here and go "oooh pretty". 

 

2 hours ago, Laghail said:

I didn't realize magnolia's can thrive that far north! They hate my region, but since I'm on lake Michigan, my best European climate comparator is supposed to be Ukraine's black sea region. 

I thought Ukraine's Black Sea region is way warmer and Lake Michigan is more like Scandinavia? Europe is way, way warmer than North America given the latitude. 

 

3 hours ago, Harriet said:

Do you mean mine, or generally?

Generally!

[Harriet]

22 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

My currently favorite podcast is Ologies, it's a very cute, low effort high reward podcast where the host interviews different scientists in a very informal fun way. Topics from the blurb are "Volcanoes. Trees. Drunk butterflies. Mars missions. Slug sex. Death. Beauty standards. Anxiety busters. Beer science. Bee drama." Her contagious enthusiasm makes me happier about the world every time I listen. 

 

That sounds great!