Battle Kitten: Ascension

[Lara]

8 hours ago, fleaball said:

So like, anxiety because I don't want to go for all the anxiety reasons, also for feeling like I have to go/like I was being guilted into it, and then feeling like an asshole for not giving a shit about marriage in general and then anxiety about being an asshole as well. And I feel like even if I do go I'll be a grumpy bitch because "why the fuck am I even here?" I don't even know if I've explained any of this in a way that makes sense. I am really leaning toward not going, but what the fuck kind of excuse do I give after the email with the hotels and such? "Hi you've made it as easy as possible for this to work but I still can't make it, sorry." I suppose I could be all "lol unexpected car repairs" but ugh. 

 

I absolutely understand you. My perspective with weddings is exactly the same. I don't know what you can do. If it were a one day thing, it would be easier to go through, but 3-4 days, phew. I don't know why I started to write this comment, because I don't really have any advice... I would tell you to find a good excuse, that's how much I dislike that kind of parties.

 

8 hours ago, fleaball said:

I'm laughing because it looks like I will become a cliche and be able to say I'm in therapy because [at least I feel like] my parents didn't love me enough. On the other hand, I'm about to start crying because I remember reading that it's pretty hard to change your attachment style. I know it's my current anxious state coloring my outlook on this right now but thought of being stuck like this and being completely fucked up for the rest of my life is just something I cannot deal with. 

 

Well, I'm a cliche too: I did therapy because I hate my mother Well, I don't hate her anymore, but it was like that at the time and it was more than justified (my parents didn't love me neither).

Yes, it is very hard to change your attachment style, but you can absolutely do it. It will be tough and it will require a lot of inner strength for you to do the task. And you will feel many times like you are not making progress. But you do.

[Severine]

Ahhhh I've been gone so long and I missed so much. I'm sorry to have not been here to disagree with you at certain points (e.g. I call bollocks on you saying you're not doing anything with your life) and agree with you at other points (your friend's comment was saddening and out of line) and make random nonsequiturs throughout. Also FWIW I deeply admire your willingness to walk away from that grad program in England. As in hearing that story significantly reshaped my mental model of your personality in a really positive way. Do you have any idea how many people stay in crap situations--jobs, relationships, etc.--because they fear change, or fear the awkwardness of telling people, or the stigma of being judged for doing something unexpected, or the uncertainty of not knowing what'll come next? In my opinion it is one of the most common causes of unhappiness. I think living a life that's actually fulfilling and right for you requires a willingness to do the non-standard thing, to walk away from something despite disruption and hardship, when it's truly not what you want. What you did was brave.

 

I really dislike going to weddings. I hate the shallowness and sleaziness of the wedding industry, I hate that weddings are often giant displays of society's messed up norms around relationships, I hate the social performance that occurs, and I hate having to make small talk with people I have no interest in (and who probably have no interest in me). The only exception I can think of was last year when two of my friends who met while playing World of Warcraft got married, and they had street truck food as catering and an exceptionally laid-back ceremony performed by their friend and former raid leader, and one of them literally rickrolled the other during their vows. It was fun and casual and wonderfully transgressively weird, and both their families seemed very confused but their friends all loved it. It radiated love and joy and people being their real selves, instead of the usual "look at how perfect our lives are and how special this day is" fake-feeling performance vibe I usually get at weddings.

 

Anyway it sounds like you had to decide yesterday so hopefully you found a solution that you feel good about, but I just wanted to chime in that you're definitely not alone in disliking these things and I don't think you're an asshole for not wanting to go. If you do end up going, you should stop in Boston and meet up with us cool Boston nerds, though.

 

Remember that stuff about childhood experiences affecting people became a cliche for a good reason--it comes up over and over because it's so common. I don't really want to go into details on your thread because derailing and such, but I remember reading this very excellent book and literally sobbing my way through the chapter on how physical violence shapes children's views of the world and relationships because it was so excruciatingly familiar. I have worked really hard to not let trust issues and other crappy legacies of the past torpedo my relationships, and it honestly really can happen, and you're already on the path (with therapy, introspection, etc) to working through whatever is affecting you. I was almost robot-like when it came to emotions as a child, but as an adult I (basically by choice) became one of the most effusive and communicative-about-feelings people I know. Because of the ability to take emotional risks and share feelings etc. I've had fulfilling relationships that I probably never could have had without working past that stuff.

 

TLDR you're great, keep on keeping on. Keep your paws up!

 

 

 

[Briniel]

I want to like Severine's comment over and over. Especially this part, that sounds totally awesome:

 

1 hour ago, Severine said:

The only exception I can think of was last year when two of my friends who met while playing World of Warcraft got married, and they had street truck food as catering and an exceptionally laid-back ceremony performed by their friend and former raid leader, and one of them literally rickrolled the other during their vows. It was fun and casual and wonderfully transgressively weird, and both their families seemed very confused but their friends all loved it. It radiated love and joy and people being their real selves, instead of the usual "look at how perfect our lives are and how special this day is" fake-feeling performance vibe I usually get at weddings.

 

Hey, not wanting to spend 3-4 days (one of them in a car) to go to an event that you know you will not enjoy and would mostly only go to because of social pressure does NOT make you an asshole. You don't even need to come up with an excuse or something (in my eyes, but I like to pretend I'm blunt about stuff like that and then totally make up excuses anyway). It's great that she tried to help you by giving you information that she has on hand and might be difficult for you to find on your own, but I don't think that means you have to go.

[fleaball]

Oh man. Hugs for everyone. I was expecting to get a bunch of replies like "uh no you kinda have to go" so thanks for proving me wrong. (It was more because "I'm wrong and you have to go to weddings you're invited to" than that I expected you all to disagree with me. If that makes sense.) The RSVP isn't due til this Saturday but I'm going to fill it out and drop it in the mail on my way to dinner with a friend tonight. I'm not going to go. And since there's no mail tomorrow I have a day or two to break it to her. I'll just say it's not going to work out, and if I feel the need to give a reason I will cite money (still paying off the hospital stay and I can blame car repairs on top of that). I'm trying to break myself of feeling like I have to justify it every time I say no to something, but this might be a case where "sorry, I can't" doesn't quite cut it?

 

Re: the therapy thing: Intellectually I know it's not a lost cause. Tbh I think I've been getting slightly better at being open with people etc recently so I'm willing to put in the work to change things. And I'm still vaguely excited, underneath it all, to try to unpack all this shit and move past it or whatever. But being miserable and anxious the past two days turned it all into "you're doing to die miserable and lonely and no one loves you." Bleh. I'm pretty sure this whole attachement thing might explain why I've been reluctant to date etc even though I want to (beyond the anxiety of it) but I need to stop trying to do my therapist's job for her because getting a psych minor 6 years ago does not make me an expert.

 

On a totally different note: has anyone paid for any of the GMB programs? @zenLara I'm pretty sure you have? @Owlet @NeverThatBored I think you've posted stuff from their site before? (I know that's where the crow pose thing came from and I've bookmarked a few of their resources myself.) Someone posted in the Academy FB group that this program has helped her with weak ankles after only a few days. I'm not going to jump into it expecting miracles, of course, but I'm thinking of trying this in place of/in addition to YAYOG. I've been keeping up with my ankle exercises but I don't feel like I'm making much progress, and my wrists tend to hurt doing YAYOG and various yoga poses. (I sprained one in France 7 years ago and didn't see anyone for it beyond the initial ER visit until I came home months later, so it never really got the PT I should have been doing.) Obviously I'm not consistent with following programs but I'm even worse about figuring out programming on my own, so if I were to try to work on ankle/wrist/etc stuff on my own I'd probably just never do it. I'm leaning toward buying it, but I'm going to wait at least another day or two before I make the decision, because today I'm in a super anxious go-go-go mode and I don't want to spend $75 or more in this condition.

 

tl;dr looking for feedback on GMB's programs and is it worth it to pay for the stuff? 

 

Now I have to go write some more econ bullshit and then go meet someone for dinner. Whee.

[fleaball]

I think if I go through with the GMB thing I might pay for one of the packages that includes 3 programs instead. It's $199, which is the same if not less than what was would pay if I got a fancy HR tracker thing. So I'll forego the latter and just dig around for my Fitbit again in that case. I did a brief search of the forums here and found only positive thing about GMB in general so I might be impulsive and go for it. 

 

Filled out the reply card for the wedding but haven't mailed it bc I decided against bringing a purse and it's raining.

 

forgot to say: if I make it back to Boston for any reason I will totally hit you up @Severine. And @Sylvaa if you're still there. (Haven't looked at the savage race yet but I'm leaning toward yes anyway because I'm an idiot.)

 

ETA: Looked at the race site. Those obstacles are some Ninja Warrior shit, jesus. It's something I would like to do, but I'm not gonna be able to make that call before the sale runs out. Despite the grabby hands I keep making at all the bling from various races (looking at you, fuzzy viking hat!) I want to wait til the Spartan is over and make sure it's something I actually like and can survive. 

 

Challenge catch-up, with wonky formatting bc mobile.

 

 

What makes you unique?

- Still struggling with this. Beyond the above quitting a shitty school and going to therapy. Uhh. I mean I've had unique experiences and have done some things that not everyone has done, but I can't think of anything that makes me a unique person? I have some weird ass birthmarks. I'm good at picking up languages and making connections between ones I know. I'm sure there are things about my personality I could say but hell if I know what they are. 

 

Whats your best feature?

- my eyes. I can't find (or take) a good picture of them but they're mostly blue. Sometimes look green. And have yellow in the middle. Okay Google saved me. Basically they look like this but this is not me:



 

I also have been told I have really nice eyelashes, so that sort of completes the package lol. 

 

What makes you happy?

Having really great conversations with you guys. Cats doing stupid things. Doing things I couldn't do before, whether physical or bc anxiety or whatever. Stupid Supernatural convention videos. 

 

What makes you laugh?

Really bad puns. Most of the above things. 

 
 

 

 

[fleaball]

A) I am even more grumpy having gone out with my friend because whenever we go out she does most of the talking. So now I'm just like "ugh that was a giant waste of my time." (Also apparently everyone and their mom goes to the pizza place we went for dinner because they were out of half the toppings I wanted.)

 

B.) I fucking hate the guy downstairs. In general, I am annoyed af because he keeps getting things delivered to the house, to the tune of at least 3 packages a week. Which is cool and all, but they're all from the same website. Which also has physical stores. You cannot possibly be buying new shirts and ties three times a week for months, and if you are- fucking buy them all at once, jfc. Lately I've been coming home to slips stuck on the door from FedEx saying "you requested a signature on delivery but no one was home so we'll try again tomorrow." (Key point here: the door to his apartment is in the back of the house but all the mail comes to the front, so when there's mail or packages for him I put them on the inside staircase from my kitchen to the basement and usually text him to let him know.) So when I tell him there's a missed package slip, usually by texting him a photo of it, he always asks who it's from and what it says on it. There's no information on it, which you can clearly tell from the picture I sent you. Or he'll ask where the boxes are from. And the other day he texted me at 7:55am to ask "will you be home today?" Bro. I am not your damn secretary. Get your fucking packages delivered to your office if they're so precious. I'm so close to just not bringing in any of his mail and saying I didn't check the mail today and went in/out the back door or something. 

 

B 1/2) We haven't turned on the AC at all this year (except for the one time I put it on for half an hour when I had just come in from a run and it was hot as balls). It has topped 90 several times this summer and I know he's been home. Today the high was 74. While I was at dinner he texts to ask what the thermostat is set to. I say it's not on. (The house was 77 when I left an hour prior.) His response, word for word: "Oh, it's really hot down here." Congratulations? I wait a while before answering because hi, out to dinner with my friend. I told him he could come up and turn it on (if it's not clear, there's one central ac/heating system that controls downstairs and our place, and the control thingy is in my dining room) but to lmk when I can turn it off bc it's not very efficient and not worth keeping on all the time. His response is that his apartment is a sauna. Bro you're in the basement. There's no way it's hotter than the rest of the house. I told him he should get a fan or something because the landlord himself told us the insulation in the house is balls and the AC isn't worth turning on, and that for that reason there are 3 window units in our two floors of the house. And his response is "HAHAHAHA!" Which... what? Really? Never mind the fact that he knows the situation is shit because he had a fucking space heater going in the winter. I'm so mad. Because he's such a child. I understand wanting to be comfortable in your own home and all that, but we split the utilities and my roommate and I do not want to spend a shit ton of money for this when it doesn't even work. He's got a very small living space so one of those standing fans would be more than enough to keep his place cool. Maybe I can sic my roommate on him if this shit keeps up. 

 

I still have econ to do and 2 hours to do it in. It's just 2 responses to other peoples' posts from the other night, but still. Also I keep thinking all the fireworks/firecrackers going off are gunshots.

 

Today has been a weird day. In the morning I was super anxious for no reason, to the point that I was shaking and practically vibrating out of my skin. Then it more or less went away. Then when I was getting ready for dinner it came back with a vengeance and I was mysteriously upset to the point that I almost started crying on the bus. I feel like crying now too, which is probably frustration over all of the above on top of whatever wonky mood I'm dealing with. Boo at this entire weekend.

[fleaball]

Joke's on me. It's 91% humidity right now so the damn AC is staying on to deal with that despite it only being 66 outside. I cannot conjure a single fuck tonight.

 

When I was at my friend's last weekend I tweaked something in my shoulder while helping her move her grill. The pain went away but has come back intermittently and tonight has bothered me several times while doing laundry and putting sheets back on my bed. I can't figure out if it's joint or muscle and I am pissed. I need a vacation from reality. 

[Lara]

11 hours ago, fleaball said:

On a totally different note: has anyone paid for any of the GMB programs? @zenLara I'm pretty sure you have? @Owlet @NeverThatBored I think you've posted stuff from their site before? (I know that's where the crow pose thing came from and I've bookmarked a few of their resources myself.) Someone posted in the Academy FB group that this program has helped her with weak ankles after only a few days. I'm not going to jump into it expecting miracles, of course, but I'm thinking of trying this in place of/in addition to YAYOG.

 

I haven't used the Elements program, but @annyshay has and she loved it. I think she has worked on it for a long time and she could give you good advice about. I have bought several other programs from them and I liked them all. They are well built programs, progressive, thoughtful, comprehensive. It's true that it is expensive, but It's worth the money, at least from my experience. Beside that, they have always answered all my e-mails with questions or doubts quickly and kindly.

About ankles and wrists, you can find many free exercises on their web. Maybe you can compile them. I frequently use their hip combination, as well as the neck and wrists ones.

 

What is wrong with that guy!? G-sus, what a neighbor.

[Owlet]

Woah sorry I meant to check in here way sooner! It looks like you've solved the wedding conundrum though  Yay for saying no! Sometimes no is such a positive thing. Also, 10 hours driving would get you halfway down the length of my country. Heck, 3 hours would get you side to side. Unless you get stuck behind a campervan lol. Then you're fucked. 

 

Gold Medal Bodies is great! I haven't signed on for any programs because I'm a cheap ass but even their articles are full of information and videos, and there is heeeaps on strengthening wrists and shoulders etc. Keep an eye on that pulled muscle, might be worth seeing a physio? I am seeing one currently for a similar thing and it's been great - massages galore and exercises to strengthen and improve posture. Normally I wouldn't bother but it's nice to learn a bit more about what's actually going on there. 

 

Dude your downstairs man needs to grow up. Ugh. And stop destroying the planet with all his unnecessary shipping. And your friend needs to learn when to shut up and listen. In a nice way lol.

 

Sorry the anxiety keeps reappearing! It sounds like you are working through some big stuff at the moment so it's not surprising, but certainly not fun either. I reckon you're on the brink of some big breakthroughs though and life will definitely get better soon!  And yeah, like Severine said cliches are cliche for a reason. I didn't think I was going to therapy for parent issues but it came down to that in the end lol. And god knows my parents have issues with their parents. But it is totally possible to change the deep-rooted parts of yourself. It's not easy, or quick, but once you know what your tendencies are you can start to be more conscious about what you do,say and think. Baby steps. So small sometimes it feels like you're making no progress at all. Until one day you look back and realise you actually changed a whole lot  

 

Dude, I have mad eye-jealousy. Mine are hazel. Yours sound like dragon eyes or some shit. Also I just realised I've watched two movies recently where a main character decides to blind themselves : /

[Severine]

Your neighbour sounds like an insufferable manchild. If you see him bringing dates home, warn them if you can.

 

I had never heard of GMB before and I just spent like 10 minutes cruising through their site looking at programs. Really tempting for when I'm looking to start something new. I adore having other people design programs for me. I get way too sidetracked if I try to design my own thing. Like one minute I'm trying to decide how many lunges I should try for and I do a bit of googling and before I know it I'm reading about the lymphatic system on PubMed or something. I really easily fall down research rabbit holes. 

 

Maybe try a hot pack or cool pack on the shoulder? I don't know which temperature extreme is better, but I feel like every time I have a muscle injury, that's invariably part of the treatment.

 

Regarding races: I really really want to do a Spartan or something like it. If you guys sign up for one that's not during the middle of the farming season, I would totally consider joining in. I've never done an organized race of any kind and it's on my bucket list.

[fleaball]

13 hours ago, zenLara said:

 

I haven't used the Elements program, but @annyshay has and she loved it. I think she has worked on it for a long time and she could give you good advice about. I have bought several other programs from them and I liked them all. They are well built programs, progressive, thoughtful, comprehensive. It's true that it is expensive, but It's worth the money, at least from my experience. Beside that, they have always answered all my e-mails with questions or doubts quickly and kindly.

About ankles and wrists, you can find many free exercises on their web. Maybe you can compile them. I frequently use their hip combination, as well as the neck and wrists ones.

 

What is wrong with that guy!? G-sus, what a neighbor.

Yeah I signed up for an account and I'm already impressed that they're like "hey reply and tell us about yourself, we'll reply back!" Who even does that anymore? I've looked at some of the individual wrist/ankle pages and obviously that would be cheaper, but I'm thinking despite the price I'd probably be better off buying a program first so I can get comfortable with the structure or something.

 

Dude has been a pain in the ass since day 1. Uggggh. 

 

12 hours ago, Owlet said:

Woah sorry I meant to check in here way sooner! It looks like you've solved the wedding conundrum though  Yay for saying no! Sometimes no is such a positive thing. Also, 10 hours driving would get you halfway down the length of my country. Heck, 3 hours would get you side to side. Unless you get stuck behind a campervan lol. Then you're fucked. 

 

Gold Medal Bodies is great! I haven't signed on for any programs because I'm a cheap ass but even their articles are full of information and videos, and there is heeeaps on strengthening wrists and shoulders etc. Keep an eye on that pulled muscle, might be worth seeing a physio? I am seeing one currently for a similar thing and it's been great - massages galore and exercises to strengthen and improve posture. Normally I wouldn't bother but it's nice to learn a bit more about what's actually going on there. 

 

Dude your downstairs man needs to grow up. Ugh. And stop destroying the planet with all his unnecessary shipping. And your friend needs to learn when to shut up and listen. In a nice way lol.

 

Sorry the anxiety keeps reappearing! It sounds like you are working through some big stuff at the moment so it's not surprising, but certainly not fun either. I reckon you're on the brink of some big breakthroughs though and life will definitely get better soon!  And yeah, like Severine said cliches are cliche for a reason. I didn't think I was going to therapy for parent issues but it came down to that in the end lol. And god knows my parents have issues with their parents. But it is totally possible to change the deep-rooted parts of yourself. It's not easy, or quick, but once you know what your tendencies are you can start to be more conscious about what you do,say and think. Baby steps. So small sometimes it feels like you're making no progress at all. Until one day you look back and realise you actually changed a whole lot  

 

Dude, I have mad eye-jealousy. Mine are hazel. Yours sound like dragon eyes or some shit. Also I just realised I've watched two movies recently where a main character decides to blind themselves : /

Once upon a time I was going to move from the east coast (10 minutes from the Atlantic) to the west coast (about an hour from the Pacific) and google told me it would be a 50-hour drive. I think driving straight down the east coast from the Canadian border is probably 30-40, because it's something like 24 from Boston to Disney World. It's fucking mindblowing to think about the relative size of different countries. I still feel slightly bad about not going to the wedding but I'm trying to remind myself that while it probably wouldn't be as bad as I think and forcing myself to go would be a chance to work on the anxiety, it's also not worth stressing and being anxious about it for an entire month and fucking up my head, especially when my therapist is going to be poking at me continuously to find this breakthrough. (I'm sure she'd go easy on me if it were too overwhelming, but in the long run I'd rather briefly feel bad about skipping the wedding than slow down/put off overcoming the anxiety.)

 

It's been a weird week. Wednesday was fine, Thursday I was super productive with econ and working out and actually socializing, and then from Friday on it's just been shit, anxiety/emotion-wise. And even my realization about the attachment thing came after the anxiety peaked Friday so I can't blame that for putting me in a mood. I know it's possible to fix it (for lack of a better word) and that it's not hopeless, and I know my therapist wouldn't be poking at it if it weren't something we could work on, I just need to remind myself of that. And listen when you all are saying it too. 

 

Those sound like really happy movies. Hazel eyes are pretty too, you shush! 

 

11 minutes ago, Severine said:

Your neighbour sounds like an insufferable manchild. If you see him bringing dates home, warn them if you can.

 

I had never heard of GMB before and I just spent like 10 minutes cruising through their site looking at programs. Really tempting for when I'm looking to start something new. I adore having other people design programs for me. I get way too sidetracked if I try to design my own thing. Like one minute I'm trying to decide how many lunges I should try for and I do a bit of googling and before I know it I'm reading about the lymphatic system on PubMed or something. I really easily fall down research rabbit holes. 

 

Maybe try a hot pack or cool pack on the shoulder? I don't know which temperature extreme is better, but I feel like every time I have a muscle injury, that's invariably part of the treatment.

 

Regarding races: I really really want to do a Spartan or something like it. If you guys sign up for one that's not during the middle of the farming season, I would totally consider joining in. I've never done an organized race of any kind and it's on my bucket list.

He definitely is. And he's at least mid-30s. I've heard a female voice down there before and I always pity whoever it is.

 

Haha I do the same thing. Or I wind up with a list of 8000 exercises that are only marginally different and still no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. 

 

I put icy-hot on it about half an hour ago just to see if it makes a difference. So far it hasn't, but that's probably to be expected. I can never keep the hot vs cold straight either though. 

 

I'm pretty sure a million and a half Nerds do the Fenway Sprint every November. It's living in the back of my mind but ugh. Going home. And it's 2 weeks before Thanksgiving.

[RES]

Glad you figured out its okay to say no, but you really don't owe anyone an explanation...:)

[fleaball]

20 minutes ago, RES said:

Glad you figured out its okay to say no, but you really don't owe anyone an explanation...:)

Good. I'm gonna tell them you told me this.

 

also. When I logged in I was like "why the fuck do I have so many notif- oh. RES is back." <3

[NeverThatBored]

I haven't done any of the GMB programs yet, but I'm very strongly considering signing up for Elements after our Spartan!

[athousandwords]

Hey, playing catch up....

 

I'm glad you decided not to go to the wedding, and mailed off that RSVP before you could change your mind!  From the perspective of someone who's been through the whole big wedding thing, I promise, you don't need to provide an explanation. Believe me, your friend gets it. It's far away, it's a 3 trip, you'd have to miss work, it's a lot of money!! I felt so grateful when people came out for my wedding because I knew it was a costly excursion to come, and I didn't begrudge the friends and family who couldn't make it at all. If you want to be polite, send a card and maybe a gift if you can afford it - but even that isn't expected.

 

I hadn't heard for the GMB program before, but I'm going to check it out based on your review so far - sounds cool!

 

Hope you had a good July 4th and got to take some time off!

[Sylvaa]

Hello Sweetie!

 

Re: Weddings - they are stupid.

Spoiler

Okay, not my wedding - you know why? I got married at the JoP, the guys wore tuxedo t-shirts, and we all went back to my house for sandwich trays and beer. It was awesome. All my family and friends were there, I got to enjoy my time with them, and I didn't run myself ragged.

 

Look, I get that weddings are about celebrating your love for one another, but seriously? That's the WHOLE FREAKING POINT OF GETTING MARRIED. 

 

Don't go, save your money, and don't feel bad.

 

 

Re: Parents - I feel you.

Spoiler

My parents are to this day so much in love with each other than my brothers and I are kind of ... casualties. 

 

You can just join my family. I'll take you in. I'm a little young to be your mother, but we'll figure out a good cloning story.

 

 

Re: Exercise - I'm working on a plan for my husband for hockey and then getting my next round of work set up. I can totally let you know what I'm doing if you want.

[fleaball]

5 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

I haven't done any of the GMB programs yet, but I'm very strongly considering signing up for Elements after our Spartan!

Wooo. I think I'm gonna do it. 

 

3 hours ago, athousandwords said:

Hey, playing catch up....

 

I'm glad you decided not to go to the wedding, and mailed off that RSVP before you could change your mind!  From the perspective of someone who's been through the whole big wedding thing, I promise, you don't need to provide an explanation. Believe me, your friend gets it. It's far away, it's a 3 trip, you'd have to miss work, it's a lot of money!! I felt so grateful when people came out for my wedding because I knew it was a costly excursion to come, and I didn't begrudge the friends and family who couldn't make it at all. If you want to be polite, send a card and maybe a gift if you can afford it - but even that isn't expected.

 

I hadn't heard for the GMB program before, but I'm going to check it out based on your review so far - sounds cool!

 

Hope you had a good July 4th and got to take some time off!

The RSVP is actually still on my desk to be mailed tomorrow, because I have no idea where the nearest mailbox is. Womp. But it's not changing. She was pretty adamant about gifts being entirely unnecessary, so I was thinking about taking her to dinner or something to celebrate after she's had time to breathe. But that makes me feel better, thank you!

 

I'm gonna send them an email with a few questions about it, but if I go through with it you'll hear all about it here lol. 

 

3 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Hello Sweetie!

 

Re: Weddings - they are stupid.

  Hide contents

Okay, not my wedding - you know why? I got married at the JoP, the guys wore tuxedo t-shirts, and we all went back to my house for sandwich trays and beer. It was awesome. All my family and friends were there, I got to enjoy my time with them, and I didn't run myself ragged.

 

Look, I get that weddings are about celebrating your love for one another, but seriously? That's the WHOLE FREAKING POINT OF GETTING MARRIED. 

 

Don't go, save your money, and don't feel bad.

 

 

Re: Parents - I feel you.

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My parents are to this day so much in love with each other than my brothers and I are kind of ... casualties. 

 

You can just join my family. I'll take you in. I'm a little young to be your mother, but we'll figure out a good cloning story.

 

 

Re: Exercise - I'm working on a plan for my husband for hockey and then getting my next round of work set up. I can totally let you know what I'm doing if you want.

Okay. Your wedding sounds awesome. And I am cool with joining your family. We'll make it work. 

 

One day I'll probably steal all your workouts. For now I'm going to stick with YAYOG/c25k/probably GMB because when there are videos and/or disembodied voices timing and telling me what to do I do much better. I've tried going off written programs in a notebook or on my phone or something and I just get bogged down in silly details or get distracted by something shiny and lose momentum. (Obviously I'm talking about while I'm actually doing the workouts, because getting myself to start is a different animal.)

[RES]

5 hours ago, fleaball said:

because getting myself to start is a different animal.

absolutely understand this...

 

and did you ever get another fitbit?

[fleaball]

5 minutes ago, RES said:

absolutely understand this...

 

and did you ever get another fitbit?

Oh shit, I think there was a new challenge I forgot to respond to. No, I think I'm gonna pass on the new one and pay for a GMB program instead. Apparently it's still in my house somewhere because it synced when I turned on my bluetooth. I just have no. fucking. clue. where it's hiding. I'll try tearing my room apart again this week.

[fleaball]

I was fairly productive today, but really only as a way to justify not doing my econ homework. One of the things I did was finally make a gynecologist appointment, and let me tell you how much I am not looking forward to that. I am not an adult. Send help. But hey, now a lot of things that I kept needlessly putting off have been taken care of. Aaaand I finally got feedback on the 20-page paper I wrote in April. Haven't opened it yet because I'm a chicken but baby steps. 

 

According to Verizon the iPhone 7 is coming out in September. I'm eligible for an upgrade in August. Totally means I'm going to wait and either get the shiny new one or wait get the current new one at a discount.  

 

So at some point yesterday the crazy anxiety I'd been dealing with since Friday finally broke. That's a relief. It was actually kind of weird to wake up this morning and think "oh, I feel like a normal human again. Huh." I'm sure my appointment tomorrow is going to suck balls. Thanks for supporting me y'all. (As opposed to the friend I texted to say "tell me I'm not an asshole for not going to a wedding in VT" whose response was "bring me back some maple syrup.")

 

Ugh. I think I'm just writing this now to put of Econ even longer. I'm gonna go do that now instead. I wanna go beat the final boss in FFX but this quiz isn't going to wait forever.

[Severine]

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

Thanks for supporting me y'all. (As opposed to the friend I texted to say "tell me I'm not an asshole for not going to a wedding in VT" whose response was "bring me back some maple syrup.")

 

Okay that is a friendship fail and a reading comprehension fail at the same time.

 

The universal consensus here is that you're clearly not an asshole. On top of that, if your friend is mad at you (or anyone else) for not having the time and/or money to come to a wedding in another state, that makes HER kind of a selfish asshole. Among my friends, and I think almost everyone else, the rule for destination weddings is that if people travel for you, it's a gift, but it's never expected. Probably she'll understand, but if not, she's being unreasonable and you don't need to take that on.

 

Yay for anxiety abating and getting shit done!

[fleaball]

12 minutes ago, Severine said:

On top of that, if your friend is mad at you (or anyone else) for not having the time and/or money to come to a wedding in another state, that makes HER kind of a selfish asshole. Among my friends, and I think almost everyone else, the rule for destination weddings is that if people travel for you, it's a gift, but it's never expected. Probably she'll understand, but if not, she's being unreasonable and you don't need to take that on.

She definitely said on Friday that she totally understands if I can't make it because it's a long haul etc etc. And I believe she genuinely feels that way. But my brain decided "she's being so nice about it, now you have to go!" Okay brain. Thanks. 

[Severine]

Yeah your brain is trolling you. Like seriously, translate that same reasoning to literally anything else and behold the complete absence of logic.

 

 

 

[fleaball]

Haha trust me. Most of the time I am well aware of how illogical/irrational I'm being. Which makes it so much more fun because I'm like "Why am I freaking out. There's no reason to freak out. NOW I'M FREAKING OUT ABOUT FREAKING OUT OH GOD WHY."

[Severine]

Oh hell yeah. Awareness of disproportionate mental/emotional reaction to a thing very rarely stops the reaction from happening, but it does open the fun fun gateway into self-critical meta-analysis! I totally understand. Your therapist might have actual constructive things to say, but all I've got is "that happens to me too" and "your brain is wrong and you're awesome."