Sloth: The Man with the Hammer

[starpuck]

5 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

We were rafting down a river and saw the caravan. My father was trying to get a stuck wagon out of the river. I don’t know what he thought I would do, but I yelled, “Here’s your frying pan you Son offa Bitch!” Threw the frying pan, rolled an 18, and conked him on the head.” As we floated by I was flipping him off as the rest of his caravan (my family) guffawed.

This prevented us from doing whatever it was we were supposed to do. I kept telling him to railroad us, but he plays the game straight.

Bwuhahaha, I love this!   And I think your character sounds cool.    I'd love to have an adventurer with him. 

 

[Mrs Van]

17 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

From her perspective I'm an asshole.  I can't say she's wrong.

I can, and I do say she's wrong. The Bible says you are not allowed to call people idiots, so I won't call her that, but...

Your nerd night really sounds fun. I have no idea how it works, except for once or twice that a game was played in Big Bang Theory, but it really sounds like a good night out.

[Sloth the Enduring]

17 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

My hope for you is that you can find that sweet spot of getting her to pretend you don't exist for extended periods of time.

 

Hah.  Thanks.  She left this morning and has probably already started to ignore the fact of my existence.

 

17 hours ago, TimovieMan said:

Never heard of either of these bands, but I quite like the Atmosphere song!

 

He put on a great show.  Next time he swings through Europe you should try to see him.

 

15 hours ago, Starpuck said:

Bwuhahaha, I love this!   And I think your character sounds cool.    I'd love to have an adventurer with him. 

 

 

 Thanks.  That is Ladkas. A mighty Gnome warrior (AD&D) with little self-control.  I would love to play in one of your games, but I have to admit I'm not a good role player.  I really just like rolling dice.

 

43 minutes ago, elizevdmerwe said:

I can, and I do say she's wrong. The Bible says you are not allowed to call people idiots, so I won't call her that, but...

Your nerd night really sounds fun. I have no idea how it works, except for once or twice that a game was played in Big Bang Theory, but it really sounds like a good night out.

 

Hah.  Thanks.  I have some serious jerk tendencies that I've been trying to overcome for a long time.

 

Nerd night is great.  I'm a weird hermit by nature, but it's nice to have a social outlet.  I bet your family would enjoy playing D&D.  I'm pretty sure you can find the D20 system on-line for free, which is a lot like D&D 3.5.

 

 

-------------------------------------

 

12/17/18

The week before winter break is one of  those times when you really earn your money as a teacher.  MIL must have gotten bitten, or at least  threatened, when I wasn't there because she flipped from trying to get the dog off the leash when she could to insisting the dog be on a leash.  

 

Here's how my family screwed Mrs. Sloth over for Christmas.  We have always had Christmas morning as a family and then we go to my parents for dinner.  My sister and one of her sons lives with my dad.  She works in a hospital and is going to work four 12 hours days centered around Christmas so she wasn't going to do anything except for presents with her kids.  My dad didn't want to cook by himself.  We invited my dad to our house.  Then nephew #1, who I assumed was going to his dad's, was tagging along.  My sister said, "As long as you're going, why don't you get nephew #2 on the way?"  Later on she said, "As long as everyone else is there, I may as well come after I wake up (she's working nights now I guess)."  So now we are stuck having Christmas dinner at our house.  Which means a lot more work for Mrs. Sloth.

 

No fitnessing was done because sick day.

 

12/18/18 Tuesday

No fitnessing will be done because sick day.

[Elastigirl]

Hope you feel better soo.  Tell Mrs. Sloth she gets bonus charisma points for last minute Christmas hosting

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

2 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Here's how my family screwed Mrs. Sloth over for Christmas.  We have always had Christmas morning as a family and then we go to my parents for dinner.  My sister and one of her sons lives with my dad.  She works in a hospital and is going to work four 12 hours days centered around Christmas so she wasn't going to do anything except for presents with her kids.  My dad didn't want to cook by himself.  We invited my dad to our house.  Then nephew #1, who I assumed was going to his dad's, was tagging along.  My sister said, "As long as you're going, why don't you get nephew #2 on the way?"  Later on she said, "As long as everyone else is there, I may as well come after I wake up (she's working nights now I guess)."  So now we are stuck having Christmas dinner at our house.  Which means a lot more work for Mrs. Sloth.

This isn't me being the best example, but my first thought was "Sounds like her in-laws are pulling the kind of crap with her that Sloth's in-laws pull with him."

 

Having said that, yes, your family pulled a fast one and it was BS.

[Sloth the Enduring]

6 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Hope you feel better soon. 

 

Thanks.

 

5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

This isn't me being the best example, but my first thought was "Sounds like her in-laws are pulling the kind of crap with her that Sloth's in-laws pull with him."

 

Having said that, yes, your family pulled a fast one and it was BS.

 

I gotta agree with you.  The process would have been different, but the result was the same; we were railroaded into something we didn't want to do.  I blame my sister, my dad doesn't have a lot of guile, but my sister can be manipulative when she wants to.  I'll put my foot down about next year, Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Having Mrs. Sloth be the default host for all of the celebrations is too much to ask.

[DJtrippyT]

This came across my dash and I thought of you

 

[Sloth the Enduring]

I live!  I wasn’t sure for a while. I was sick as Hell for the last week before break. It was awesome. Actually, it went fairly smoothly. 

 

Yesterday I slept for 20 hours. Today I finally feel ok. I’m at the mall shopping and when I get home I’ll clean the house. I doubt I’ll do any fitnessing. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

53 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

It was awesome.

[Elastigirl]

Glad you survived the plague. Hope the resto of your holidays are plague free

[Mrs Van]

Didn't know whether to click a sad face or happy face (like heart). Sorry you were so sick, but glad you are feeling much better. Have a great Christmas break, and hope Mrs. Sloth doesn't have to work too hard. Let your family bring along some salads, or a side dish, maybe?

[starpuck]

On 12/18/2018 at 11:15 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

I would love to play in one of your games, but I have to admit I'm not a good role player.  I really just like rolling dice.

No wrong way to play D&D.       And dice are ... mmm dice are such wonderful things.  Look at this beaut my friend got me for Christmas!

Color is called Knightwing - and it's a solid aluminium die with the Frontier font.   I cannot wait to roll this puppy!

 

Glad the holiday's have calmed for you and the Sloths.   Last minute shuffling and crap can be soooo enfuriating, so props on managing through that.

[Sloth the Enduring]

On 12/18/2018 at 11:14 PM, DJtrippyT said:

This came across my dash and I thought of you

 

 

That’s a good idea.  For the socially awkward game night can be a lifesaver. 

 

There’s a local D&D air BnB.  The guy will DM  too, but he has a whole bunch of uptight rules. 

 

On 12/23/2018 at 2:20 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

 

I’m gen X.

 

 

On 12/23/2018 at 2:59 PM, Elastigirl said:

Glad you survived the plague. Hope the resto of your holidays are plague free

 

Thanks.  I have a lingering crud.  

 

On 12/23/2018 at 11:33 PM, elizevdmerwe said:

Didn't know whether to click a sad face or happy face (like heart). Sorry you were so sick, but glad you are feeling much better. Have a great Christmas break, and hope Mrs. Sloth doesn't have to work too hard. Let your family bring along some salads, or a side dish, maybe?

 

Thanks. My ingrate family didn’t bring anything. 

 

On 12/26/2018 at 10:22 AM, Starpuck said:

No wrong way to play D&D.       And dice are ... mmm dice are such wonderful things.  Look at this beaut my friend got me for Christmas!

Color is called Knightwing - and it's a solid aluminium die with the Frontier font.   I cannot wait to roll this puppy!

 

Glad the holiday's have calmed for you and the Sloths.   Last minute shuffling and crap can be soooo enfuriating, so props on managing through that.

 

That is fabulous. I’ve wanted metal dice for a long time, but I haven’t pulled the trigger yet. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Winter break update - I haven’t done a darn thing.  The plague hasn’t completely let go; I have a lingering crud.  Tomorrow we’re leaving on our trip. I gotta be honest, I’m more than a little embarrassed by it.  It seems too decadent when so many people can’t afford luxuries.  I guess what I’m saying is, I hope my liberal guilt doesn’t prevent me from having a good time. 

 

2018 wrap up.  

School is going well enough.  As is the family and social life. I should probably put more effort into all of those.  I tend to coast on inertia there. My mental health is doing better than it has in a while.  I’ve been looking back and I wonder if the depression was related to the concussion, not that I’ve ever been a joyous person. 

 

My big fitness goals were race related.  I don’t remember my placing in my A race (6 hours of Wausau), but it was somewhere in the bell curve of the mid-pack.  I would love to podium.  If I lie and say I was only rac8ng myself, I did very well there.  I did an urban 24 hour race.  Mileage-wise I did great (third highest miles IIRC), I think I was the oldest competitor and I came in the top ten.  Hammer race went well. I put everything into neutral when school started; it’s going to be hard to get back into race shape. 

 

I went from a consistent 10# / 4.5kg over Race weight to 20# / 9kg over race weight. There’s a strong correlation with going on depression meds. It could also be that I went through man-o-pause and my body decided I’m an old fuck who may as well be fat.  

 

2019

I should probably put more effort into wife, family, school, social life, and not being an arse-biscuit, but I’ll probably just cruise. 

 

I need to get my weight down.  My immediate focus is to eat like an adult. I don’t want to consciously deprive myself. Yet. 

 

I need to get back into race shape.  I’m following a KB program.  I need to do more yoga - I’m not gonna promise that I will. Instagram is full of pro mountain bikers doing balance tricks on bosu balls; I’ll likely build a rollo bollo and work on my balance like the cool kids. Base miles on the trainer will start after we get back. 

 

I want to put some effort into upping my mountain bike skills; learning a proper manual and bunny hop are realistic goals. I’d love to get back into road racing, but that isn’t realistic based on the time I can put into it.  I say this every year, I’d like to get back into cyclocross. 

 

I’ll look at the race calendar while we’re on vacation.  Slothgirl has her free fourth grade National Parks pass. Mrs. Sloth has agreed to sticking around until Wausau, but we’ll be on a long-ass road trip after that, probably until I have to go back to work. I won’t be able to do the 24 hour race and it may be that I lose enough fitness that the fall races are ugly. 

 

Did I forget anything?

 

Have a happy New Year my nerd friends. 

[WhiteGhost]

2 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

learning a proper manual and bunny hop

I still can't do a proper manual  

[Sloth the Enduring]

First travel fail - I’m using my rucking pack with a million pockets. I thought I had cleared it out, but in a hidden inner pocket I had the leatherman* that a friend gave me a million years ago when I was in his wedding. TSA threw it away. That thing was super handy. I’m going to be bummed for a long time. 

 

I had already been pulled aside for the special “random” search (like I am every time) so it didn’t hold us up any extra. 

 

ETA: *A multi-tool, not a macho gay guy.

[WhiteGhost]

TSA is the worst airport security company ever

 

Here if you get in that situation, you can have them save it and you can reclaim when you come back

[WhiteGhost]

32 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

 

I had already been pulled aside for the special “random” search (like I am every time) so it didn’t hold us up any extra. 

I have a funny story about one (of the many) times I got pulled aside for extra screening.  This happened in San Francisco. The guy comes over and tells me that I have been "randomly" selected for additional screening.  I make a joke and say "well, that's what I get for living in a communist country".  The gives me a really dirty look and says in his meanest voice "I don't have any comment about that, SIR!"  He then takes my passport and starts flipping through it and sees that half the pages have China visas and entry/exit stamps.  He stops and looks at me with his jaw slightly agape and mumbles "oh, I thought you were saying... I guess you... uh, have a nice day sir." and let me get back in line.  I think he was so shocked he forgot to do the additional screening

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

TSA is security theater, all they do is randomly harass people without actually doing anything. Any time they are tested they fail miserably. Also, it's a pretty toxic work environment. One of Sra. Tanque's cousins used to work there and it was as unhealthy an evironment working there as you might expect.

[shaar]

5 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

ETA: *A multi-tool, not a macho gay guy.

 

Best addendum ever.

 

Last month when I was leaving Vegas some ding dong dummy thought he could get through TSA with pockets full of quarters?? ??? Like???? IS THIS YOUR FIRST DAY ON EARTH DUDE, he ended up holding us all up for like 5 minutes because he had 'em in his pockets, socks, everywhere, and the machine kept honking at him like an overcaffeinated goose, it was a thing.

 

He also got the "special screening" afterwards.

[Mrs Van]

18 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I had already been pulled aside for the special “random” search (like I am every time) so it didn’t hold us up any extra.

Brandt's metal hip always causes confusion here. There was a time when Brandt traveled to some other African countries twice or so per year. Once he told the 'security' at the check station that he has a metal hip, the guy acknowledged it, and then the machine went off as B walked through. Brandt had emptied his pockets, but this guy couldn't understand what was going on. He kept telling Brandt to "no, you must take it out", "you must show me". After a couple minutes B blew his fuse and asked the guy how the 'f' did he want him to take his metal hip inside his body out and show him? I was standing on the other side of the barrier, just watching this spectacle. Eventually someone else up the food chain came to see what the commotion was about and they let Brandt through.
Another time he walked through with nothing going off, so Brandt told the lady that the machines weren't working. She was not impressed and gave him a speech about their machines. He just turned around and walked out.

He once had to fly to Sudan for work (just before the country split), but he had absolutely no problems there security wise, except they insisted he put longs on (jeans/denims) and not wear long shorts.

[Yasha92]

My little sister in law (17, so I guess not so little) always gets pulled aside for ‘random’ screening... ‘coincidently’ she is half Arab. Mr, myself, MIL, never additionally screened (actually that’s a lie, Mr had his ponytail tied up to tightly once that the compacted hair set the sensor off that there was probably something concealed in there XD, but that doesn’t fit with my anecdote... hey an anecdote within an anecdote!)

Best one was a few years ago when we were all flying back from Queensland (domestic flight, not unusual) and SIL had bought one of those light-up letterboard things that says “be happy” or something. When it went through the X-ray and showed a box full of electronics and wires and security dude nearly pissed himself. Sad bit was then he scolded her and said “what was I supposed to think?” Uhhh... that she’s a kid bringing home a light box from a crappy stationary store? Anyone who put a bomb that obviously in their bag would be an iiijit.

[Sylvaa]

Oh TSA, my special friend.

 

I have a bra I no longer wear because it kept getting me dinged going through security (it's got lace underneath the cups, not sure why this is a thing. I guess maybe extra fabric around the stomach?). I've also occasionally worn shirts with silver threading which should never be done (silver threading will get you searched every time). 

 

A few weeks ago, while traveling home, TSA made their regular speech around making sure you take out all food and this woman literally pulled out a container of beef stew that she was planning on eating once she got through security. 

[Sloth the Enduring]

Let’s see if I can sneak an update in. 

 

I’m having a wonderful time. It’s like a cruise ship without the claustrophobia and overcrowding and the food is much better. We’ve been at the beach or the pool all day since we’ve been here. 

 

It’s a Nikolodean resort, but the theming is fairly minimal. Most of the people here don’t have children with. 

 

I’m eating healthily and have only had one or two drinks a day, but I’m consuming a lot calories. I have a rumblely tummy. Either from all the fancy cheese or from the pile of raw fish I ate. 

 

I tried to use the fitness center, but I was boosted for not having proper footwear. I didn’t think anyone would be there and planned on working in socks like I do at home. That’s what I get for packing light. 

 

A monkey climbed on my head today, but I wasn’t willing to pay $20 dollars for a photo. 

 

The guy who tries to get you to make a reservation for your next vacation gave me a bottle of Mama Juana, a liquor with aphrodisiac qualities. I’ll report back on it’s efficacy. 

 

Random observations 

You can tell Americans by their giant swim trunks (mine are mid-thigh). 

There are women in butt thongs; I’m a fan of the look. 

The English sound charming no matter what they’re saying. 

Dominicans, as a rule, are very attractive. 

I should learn Spanish, a fair amount of people assume I speak it and then I stand there looking stupid. 

 

Gtg, happy new challenge nerd friends. 

[KB Girl]

9 minutes ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I tried to use the fitness center, but I was boosted for not having proper footwear. I didn’t think anyone would be there and planned on working in socks like I do at home. That’s what I get for packing light. 

... x|