[DarK_RaideR]

3 hours ago, Heidi said:

Not Superman’s.

Whatever this pose is called:

If I had to guess, I'd say it's called the "Kneeling Fuck Yeah"

[Heidi]

2 minutes ago, DarK_RaideR said:

If I had to guess, I'd say it's called the "Kneeling Fuck Yeah"

So say we all!

[Heidi]

Lunchtime session with Philosopher James was very productive. We went through some of the essential questions and analyses of my research, and did a nice gathering of essentiallandscape questions. Then we identified key points and intersections, and themes. This was very helpful, and I felt like it provided a solid framework for beginning to look at the Quals Exam question, which is what I need to be able to start answering the question. He has no idea what Neal (the chairman of my committee) has in mind for a timeline for delivery of the questions from the committee to me, so I smiled and said I didn't either, and then I suggested that we proceed as though they are going to be delivred in the next couple weeks, as we had been assuming over the summer, and boom we were off to the races. 

 

We also are making good use of the ambiguity. We decided that until Neal writes and says "it's time," that it's still in fact not time, and so James and I are resuming our weekly readings. I have four essays by Dewey to read this week, and I'll be taking copious notes, as I usually do. The essays are in a physical book, which means my notes will probably also be in the physical book, and I'm not loving that. I'll need to think through how I want to approach note-taking for this, since writing directly in the book as though I'm haivng a conversation with the author typically produces my best and most indightful work, but also means the notes are relegated to obscurity, since they don't exist anywhere else. Also, I need to stop writing in books, especially first edition signed copies. I don't care, but if the eidtor saw it, he would probably be insulted (reason number umpty-bumpth that he's not a good fit for my committee: He's too concerned with appearances and doesn't appreciate the messiness real scholarship entails). 

 

I went out and did a little poking around in some of the texts, and in some of the related articles that I wanted to include, and before I knew it, I had 500 words written. This is good; this is the Way. 

The final answer to this question will need to be about 10,000-12,500 words, and it's going to get done 500 words at a time. My goal, at least for now, is to have a rough draft of the answer to each of the questions (we're not sure if it will be three or four, but we're sure it will only be either three or four) questions completed and ready for editing by Thanksgiving. This sounds like a long way off, but it's actually only 71 days, which isn't a very long time to write 50,000 words, especially when I don't even have the questions yet. 

 

It's all good.

This is all okay.

 

I closed the documents and heated up another bowl of chicken noodle whathaveyou; it's almost completely lacking in broth, so it certainly can't be called a soup. In any event, it was delicious. I have a serving left, and a serving of the tomato and rice soup as well, and several servings of navy beans, all which need to be eaten in the next few days before they go off. I'm very glad past-me had the presence of mind to make soups. I know that the navy beans would have been too much for my poor sick stomach, but I also sort of wish I wasn't overrun and skirting them going bad. All will be well enough, I'm sure: I am more hungry than ever with the gym mornings and extra walking.

 

I'm nealry done with my workday, and I'm very ready to shut the laptop and retire with tea and watch an episode of Women in Blue or Slow Horses or both. 

I'm pretty done for the day.

[Heidi]

I was cranky and couldn't quite settle into sleep last night, so I got up to make tea, and added in another 5 squat holds while the kettle warmed. 

This is good, and when I went back upstairs to go to bed, I fell asleep easily. I'm not saying it's all becuase of the squats, but I'm not saying it's not either.  

 

This morning I was still cranky when I woke up. I think I'm just emotionally depleted, and this is legitimate, but it's very inconvenient.

I got my things together and went to the gym, and decided to take the long way, walking around the block that goes down a hill and then up one. 

Hilariously, the reasons for not going to the gym started halfway into the walk around the block. I gave them The Look. "Do you not understand we have already left for the gym?" I asked them. Yes, but we're not there yet, are we, we could be home, we could go back we could be in bed. They are so ridiculous.

 

I walked another half mile on the track, then forgot about the rowing maching until after I was in the locker room. Okay, reasons, I see you getting your way any way you can.

I unlocked my locker and it felt good.

I did the steam room and the sauna, and it felt so good I thought I might cry. Clearly I'm up in my feels and I don't even know why but here we are.

I got out and showered, still being anxious about my locker. This is all okay. Eventually the nervousness will settle down.

I logged in with plenty of time to spare and started work, which is hilarious: I'm getting no responses from my team mates this morning and I'm wondering if the reasons got them. Perhaps I need to send a search party.

 

In the shower I was thinking about the costs that @Artemis Prime mentioned about her raised chickens vs. the $5 rotisserie chickens at Sam's and then this morning when I opened the New York Times, here was this article, staring me in the face, about the hidden costs of food. This 'hidden cost' is one of the major factors in why I had a farm, back when I had a farm; the hidden precarity of the food supply is another, but that's a topic for a different time. This article focuses on the environmental costs, but there are so, so many ways to parse what we aren't actually paying for at the supermarket -- and what's important is that we are paying for it, just in different places and in different ways. “These costs are going to be paid,” said Claire van den Broek, managing director at True Price. “They’re paid in the healthcare system, in climate adaptation mechanisms, and those will come back in taxes. It’s not like these costs are fictional.” Yes, this is it exactly. 

 

Anyway, I'm going to go make some morning tea and chill a bit before my morning meetings start. I have a feeling people are going to be in their feels and I'd like some peace before that happens.

[Artemis Prime]

27 minutes ago, Heidi said:

this morning when I opened the New York Times, here was this article, staring me in the face, about the hidden costs of food.

Really interesting article, thanks for sharing! 

 

"noting that he did not think responsibility for changing consumption should be placed on the individual." This is something that annoys me a lot, not that I don't think individuals should consider the ramifications of their personal consumption habits, but when environmental damage is framed as the fault of consumers and not the producers who emit waste on large scale. I'd also be curious to see a breakdown of environmental costs of beef on a factory farm vs a family farm. At one point I was on the goat bandwagon as a more sustainable meat source, but then I tried to raise goats and man, cows are so much easier.

 

I hope you have room to feel your feelings today and that they settle down and give you some peace.

[Heidi]

54 minutes ago, Artemis Prime said:

but then I tried to raise goats

omg goats, just no.

Sometimes it seems like everyone in the Sustainable Back To The Earth realms swears by goats, because meat and milk etc, but then you have to ask them: Have you raised a goat?

Because they have not.

But somewhere, at some point, they read a book about it.

*facepalm*

 

54 minutes ago, Artemis Prime said:

I'd also be curious to see a breakdown of environmental costs of beef on a factory farm vs a family farm.

I raised Dexter beef, a small breed of cattle that are really lovely to have in the field. I bought a young steer and a bred heifer (for milk and other steer making--the steer making is solid, but I decided after the end of the year that I wanted Jersey cow milk). One steer was about 800# at the time of harvest (16 months old) and hanging weight of 650#, which was roughly 325# processed. For a family of four, this was a pretty solid investment of $300 purchase price (at 8 months old) and tending the animal. Also the beef tasted amazing. 

My environmental costs included the methane of the steer, of course, then the emissions driving the steer to the processing plant (45 miles away), and back again. I chose to go an extra 20 miles to a processor who was certified USDA and paid the extra $1/pound for the USDA inspection stamp, even though I wasn't going to sell the beef.

Of course we have to include the costs of running a stand-up freezer full time (I kept chickens, lamb, ducks, and produce in the freezer as well). When I first started doing these sorts of calculations, I had two measures (oil costs and water costs) to compare things like raspberries grown out back to raspberries imported from California or wherever. So the breakdown on costs is significantly different for a family farm than a factory farm, and you're absolutely right to wonder if it matters. It does.

The cost to get the beef to my family once it was processed involved literally walking to the freezer and fetching it from the shelf. There's a lot of hidden emissions in trucking food to the warehouse, then from the warehouse to the grocery stores, then your own individual trip to the store. 

 

While I was on a call a couple weeks ago, a coworker mentioned that she was looking forward to a nice quiet weekend at home with her husband and that they had a couple pizzas from Greece on the way.

We live in Virginia.

Like, Greece the country? I said. 

Yes, she replied.

Dear heart, they had ordered a pizza from freaking Europe and it was being packed in dry ice and flown to the States to be trucked in from the airport, and she was talking about how she was going to use the dry ice in her Halloween decorations.

I honestly thought I was going to be ill.

 

I had never understood the idea of blasphemy until that moment.

[Artemis Prime]

58 minutes ago, Heidi said:

omg goats, just no.

Oh, thank goodness someone else said it. Sometimes I think I should give goats another shot, but then I lie down in a quiet room until it goes away.

 

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

I raised Dexter beef, a small breed of cattle that are really lovely to have in the field.

I recall them coming up in my research as a really nice breed. This is giving me the itch to dive back into it. Somedays, cows, someday.

 

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

So the breakdown on costs is significantly different for a family farm than a factory farm, and you're absolutely right to wonder if it matters. It does.

I would have been very surprised if it had not. Thanks for confirming.

 

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

While I was on a call a couple weeks ago, a coworker mentioned that she was looking forward to a nice quiet weekend at home with her husband and that they had a couple pizzas from Greece on the way.

We live in Virginia.

Like, Greece the country? I said. 

Yes, she replied.

Dear heart, they had ordered a pizza from freaking Europe and it was being packed in dry ice and flown to the States to be trucked in from the airport, and she was talking about how she was going to use the dry ice in her Halloween decorations.

I honestly thought I was going to be ill.

. . .

I take back everything I said about not putting the burden of change on consumers.

[Heidi]

Just now, Artemis Prime said:

. . .

I take back everything I said about not putting the burden of change on consumers.

RIGHT?!?

 

7 minutes ago, Artemis Prime said:

Sometimes I think I should give goats another shot, but then I lie down in a quiet room until it goes away.

#DruidApproved.

 

[Heidi]

Ugh.

Went to get the farm share, and I was feeling dizzy and broke into a sweat before I got out of the building. Okay, Universe, maybe this crankiness and insomnia thing is me still being sick.

 

I had a lunchtime meeting with a new writing student, and then felt wiped out. I ended up napping for about an hour before the call with Georgia, which went well.

 

I feel pretty lousy, even just sitting around doing nothing, so I begged off the band booster meeting for tonight and I’m going to take a pill and go to sleep. 

Maybe I’ll feel better by tomorrow and can make it to the game.

[Heidi]

Rested after work and didn't feel well, then had a late supper of tomato and rice soup. Slept well, but still feeling wiped out and "off" this morning.

 

No gym, because I'm not really moving much.

Unloaded the dishwasher while the kettle boiled this morning, and incorporated 5 squat holds. 

 

Saw this bit of lore and thought of @Ranger Hal:

In British folklore, brambles (blackberry vines) are associated with protection and boundary-setting. It was believed that passing under a bramble arch could ward off evil spirits and bring good fortune.

 

[Artemis Prime]

Sorry you're feeling off. It seems to be going around. The changing seasons throwing us off our stride, perhaps? 

[Heidi]

13 hours ago, Artemis Prime said:

Sorry you're feeling off. It seems to be going around. The changing seasons throwing us off our stride, perhaps? 

Thanks. I was also noticing that there seems to be a lot of folks feeling the drag.

In my case I think it has more to do with what we discovered at massage.

 

After work, I logged out and went to my medical massage treatment. He immediately found a bunch of really insane stiffness in my neck, and after that he found a dislocated rib — the rib head had popped out, probably during the projectile vomiting a few weeks ago when I had the Brain assessment. He did some medical massage magic and put it back, and then moved on to my jaw, which seemed swollen, and it turns out I had pulled muscles on both sides of my jaw underneath, probably from the same episode. No wonder I was a total cranky-pants. 

 

He mentioned that with all the work we had done, I probably needed to do something restorative and healing before going to the game, if I chose to go to the game. So after I left massage, I went to the butcher and picked up shrimp for Georgia, took it home and split the shrimp into two bags—one for tomorrow in the fridge and for the future in the freezer—and then went to the gym. I walked a nice slow half-mile, just to get the muscles engaged, then went to the steam room. Man, that’s just awesome. I think I was in there for 8 minutes or so. Then another four or five minutes in the sauna and a shower before heading out to the game.

 

The game was super long because of time spent dealing with field injuries, and we were ahead 33-0 with five minutes left on the clock when the third field injury happened, the second that involved a stretcher. The refs ended up leaving the field at 10, as I think they might be required to do for contract reasons, and the teams lined up and shook hands. It was officially over, but it’s not really like anyone could celebrate, which is a shame since it was homecoming.

 

I walked to where I parked my little car and drove home. 

I had a really nice time with the other band parents, and now I’m super glad to be home and have tea. 

As is usual, I am too keyed up to sleep just yet, but I think reading something light or maybe watching an episode will be just the ticket.

 

I got a note from Georgia’s dad near the end of the game that she will be going to the Homecoming Dance tomorrow, and I’m just tickled. I brought it up on our Thursday call, and she ended up getting off our call early so she could send a few texts to her girlfriend, probably about the dance, and I’m very glad that she’s getting to go out. 

 

Before I left for the game, I brought up the scooters from the bike rack in the mail room and plugged them in.

They’re all set for us to scooter to the cinema and see Beetlejuice Beetlejuice  tomorrow. 

 

I’m very tired.

It was a good day.

[Heidi]

Just checked FitBit: between the half mile at the gym and all the many steps at the game, I logged over 8,000 steps (3.64 miles) and 23 flights of stairs.

Not bad for a day that was less than a mile by the time I logged out of work.

[Heidi]

Final total for yesterday: 3.77 miles, 8479 steps, 24 flights of stairs.

I slept well, from midnight to seven. 

This is good.

 

I did five squats while making tea, and I could totally feel the activities from yesterday. It was a good stretch, and I took my time with the holds. 

Apparently in the hustle and bustle of yesterday, I forgot to actually push play  on the dishwasher last night after I loaded the dishes, so I did that this morning, then put in a load of gym-things laundry and filled up one of the gym-soap containers, organized a bit of the detritus that had gotten scattered about with clean towels (I folded them and put them in a basket in the downstairs bathroom now that there is room for that on a shelf) and collected a bunch of odds and ends in a basket that I also set on a shelf. 

 

My house is clean.

My homework is done for now.

 

Speaking of homework, James wrote yesterday to say that Neal had contacted him about a date for finalizing the Qualifying Exam questions. Apparently Neal is looking at the end of November, which gives James and I a little breathing room to work some more on philosophy of democracy and philosophy of education things before we dive in. The expectation is apparently that I will write the qualifying exam questions “over the break,” and James and I are pretty certain this means over winter Break, and not over Thanksgiving Break. All of this is fine and good.

 

I still have four essays by Dewey to read, but I have four days to do that.

This morning I’m enjoying the Loft and the Library and tea.

All is well.

? 

[Heidi]

Did a massive amount of library files and clutter organization that needed doing. It was about 30-45 minutes of fiddly work, walking things here and there and over yonder. I’m really glad I did it, and was pleased with the results, even though I felt like I had walked to the ends of the earth and back.

 

When I looked at FitBit, it said I didn’t even have half a mile yet for the day and frankly, I was insulted.  

[Heidi]

Did another set of ten squats while I was waiting on Georgia to arrive, and it felt easier, which is nice.

Overall, I was still feeling the activity of relocating the rib and releasing the bound up jaw muscles, and the football game night activity. 

I’m tired.

 

Georgia and I had a great visit. We hung out and talked books and story construction and generally caught up with each other. 

Then we scootered to the Village and saw Beetlejuice Beetlejuice for the noon show, which we thoroughly enjoyed. 

Afterward, we hit the used book store a few blocks up, and she came home with a vintage first edition book in German that she just couldn’t live without. 

We stopped in the used clothing boutique, captivated by a dressy black jumpsuit that was in the window. She tried it on and it looks amazing on her.  She was in love with it, so of course we bought it; she decided to take it home and maybe even wear it to the Homecoming Dance tonight, if that’s okay with her stepmom.

 

We poked around the old neighborhood on our way back, and she decided it would be fun to hit the arcade and pinball museum on the way home, so we did. All in all, we probably walked a mile and a half in the arcade and it was just past four, so we decided to skip the pinball and go home and eat.

 

I made shrimp scampi in about 20 minutes, and we just lounged around the kitchen while it did its thing. We had a great time talking while we were eating, had Asian pears for dessert, and then it was time for her to go. 

 

I’m not going to lie: I’m completely wiped out. But my heart is full.

We were girls about town in a way we hadn't been in a long time, and we both really enjoyed it.

 

FitBit says that I’ve logged 2.5 miles today, and somehow that seems too short for all the emotional distance I’ve traveled.

It’s a good day.

 

[Snarkyfishguts]

On 9/18/2024 at 6:23 AM, Heidi said:

Not Superman’s.

Whatever this pose is called:

Can I do this instead of the squat holds? (One=both sides, left and right)

My mom calls those Bird Dogs.. i never asked why. D_R’s name is pretty badass though.

 

1 hour ago, Heidi said:

I’m not going to lie: I’m completely wiped out. But my heart is full.

I love this for you! Those kind of days are wonderful. But especially if you can have a slower day afterwards. ??? 

[Ranger Hal]

I'm glad you had a good day with Georgia!

[Heidi]

13 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

My mom calls those Bird Dogs.. i never asked why. D_R’s name is pretty badass though.

 

I love this for you! Those kind of days are wonderful. But especially if you can have a slower day afterwards. ??? 

Agreed!
She and I are definitely planning a slow day today. I will be surprised (and impressed) if I even get a full mile in today.

We’re both wiped out.  

13 hours ago, Ranger Hal said:

I'm glad you had a good day with Georgia!

We had a blast and are looking forward to another lovely day together, but with far less out-and-abouting.

 

Good morning, Friends.

FitBit says I fell asleep just before nine last night, and I believe it.

I woke up around 5:30 and made tea in the passive ambient light of distant street lamps coming in through the Loft windows, not wanting to turn on even the small stove light. I have a pink salt lamp in the kitchen, and that was enough. I did five squats while I made tea, and this was enough to close out the West March challenge for the week. It felt good.

 

I rested until about 9, when I got up and started doing kitchen things again. I sautéed some garlic in olive oil, then warmed a cup of barley in the infused oil, then poured broth over it all for it to simmer for an hour or so. I have no idea what I’m putting with it, but barley sounds really good right now.

 

Georgia is here and we are enjoying hanging out in parallel, which is often how we like to begin our visits. We have a very similar attachment style and introvert way of being with each other, and it feels connected and supportive.

 

❤️ 

[Heidi]

Happy Autumnal Equinox,  Friends.

When the sunlight comes through this tunnel just right it forms a heart shaped image. This beautiful scenery can only be seen around the equinoxes in March and September.

 

Location: Nomizo Falls in Kimitsu, Japan

[Heidi]

Today’s visit with Georgia was nice.

We played cards, played an online game, and generally lounged around and were near each other. This is our favorite sort of day. 

 

While she was reading things online, I read two of the essays for Philosophy. This is good. I have some very good notes, and feel confident in my ability to speak about the essays and to relate them to my research. Two down, two to go, and I might get to them tonight, but also might not. 

 

This week has been a lot, but it ended well. 

I’m impressed with the amount of walking, and the amount of out-and-abouting with appointments and events. 

I went to the gym nearly every work day, and did a lot on Saturday as well. 

 

My homework is done.

My house is clean.

My heart is full.

Life is good.

❤️ 

[Heidi]

Super sleepy morning -- I woke up at five, said "yep, it's five," rolled over and the next thing I knew it was 6:15, and I thought "Man, I needed that."

It took until after 7 to get going, and I took the long way around to the gym -- I'm liking this new element in my routine.

 

I did a little more than a mile walking, then skipped the rowing machine since my chest muscles are stilla bit sore from the rib adjustment.

The steam room and sauna were amazing, and by going later in the morning, the two chatty-negativity women were already dressed and long gone. This was nice. 

I've already walked more this morning than I did all day yesterday, which is unsurprising; I needed a full-on rest day and I'm glad I got it.

 

I logged into work, and have had a nice morning phone call with a friend.

I have an appointment with a counselor this morning and will miss scrum. I was going to join by phone from my car while waiting for my appointment to begin, but my boss said no worries, just ping him when I get back, and this feels like a gift.

 

The Universe loves me and wants me to be happy.

❤️ 

[Heidi]

#DruidThoughts:

Many Southern coastal communities like Galveston, Texas are scrambling to find ways to shore up seawall and other engineering mechanism to protect the community from the rising sea. These are not merely theoretical concerns of some far-off future event: In Galveston, the sea has risen .6 inch every year since 2010. The construction of seawalls and pumps (that would help mitigate flooding during increasingly common massive storms) and the resotration of beaches is largely being footed by federal grants and state dollars (more federal than state; this is still Texas we're talking about, here). Meanwhile, the private real estate appetite for coastal living is somehow, mindbogglingly, increasing. The profits from real estate are largely private affairs, as is common throughout the United States, and condos are being planned for coastal places, even Galveston. It kind of makes me wonder if FEMA ought to have the authority in conjunction with the Department of the Interior to mark certain lands as Federal Preserves, very similar to Federal Parks, becuase the cost to the coastline, the natural habitat, and the potential cost in sheer dollars for disaster relief are off the charts. 

 

Anyway, this is what I'm thinking about as I get ready for the upcoming appointment, which is actually giving me the jitters apparently.

Also, a pinball friend texted to ask if I want to go to dinner tonight after work, and I said yes -- bonus points for social things.

[Heidi]

Went to the counseling appointment. 

It was very good.

I am now completely spent.

Time to log back into work.

[Heidi]

I am so tired that I almost fell asleep during a KACE reboot.

Okay, Universe, I hear you.

 

We've had rain in the afternoons and evenings most of the month, and it looks like we're in for another stretch of wet weather.

Hurricane Helene is forecast to come our way, but then take a decidedly hard turn to the west when it gets close to the mountains.

I love my mountains.

Also, I've been missing the heck out of my farm.

It's definitely going to be a week of instroversion and quiet rest, possibly with a mystery novel and a large cup of tea. 

I know there are a million things on the calendar, but they are just distractions from the main event, which will be to become my churchmouse self and hide away in my Library Loft.