cn3wton, Battle log of Ages

[cn3wton]

On 12/28/2023 at 12:59 AM, Elastigirl said:

Nice!  

Thank you! I know its far from my 1 rep max not that I am more comfortable with the lift again. But it felt good after such an exhausting set!

[cn3wton]

On 12/29/2023 at 4:22 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

As a fellow learner of Spanish on Duolingo with zero previous knowledge of the language and some 125+ day streak, I can tell you it does help you get going, but it's a very slow process and you'll often feel like you've been running around in circles learning the same things again and again. It definately feels more like a crash course for people about to go on holidays or study abroad rather than actual lessons, but it works well enough and I've found myself picking up words/phrases I've learned or occasionally conversing with my dad who's actually done Spanish classes for a few years. My main gripe is that Duolingo doesn't quite have a structure to what it's teaching you, so for example you never actually learn how certain verbs change depending on who's doing the act, or you just randomly learn a bunch of numbers without learning to count from 1 to 20. In that sense, it feels more like memorizing than actually understanding and learning. That, and the fact that after a while, you tend to pick up on the tricks of the algorithm, so you can get past the questions without really understanding the language, so you need to pause and force your brain to do the mental lifting, as opposed to just gaming the system.

 

I am noticing a similar trend as well. I certainly am picking up some ideas. But I don't think it's going to be the thing that really gets me to learn it. I have been speaking with a girl I met online whose primary language is Spanish. So we are trying to figure out a way to help one another. But I have no idea how to begin. We have video chatted and used text to help. But its certainly been a task to figure out the best way to approach it.

 

I definitely have had to slow down and read the questions and try to use my brain instead of simply memorizing questions and using tricks to figure out the answer faster. Like using masculine or feminine clues, or using the subject of the "lesson" to know that we aren't talking about apples when introducing ourselves.

 

I would be interested to hear if you have found anything else that would be better suited?

 

On 12/29/2023 at 8:04 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I found my previous study of Spanish very helpful when studying  κοινή Greek. The present active indicative endings in Hreek are very similar to Spanish Present tense, for example, and some of the prepositions work the same way in both languages. 

 

That's very cool! I have often heard that there are certain languages that once you learn them you can more easily learn the others. It is funny because I haven't taken a french class in 10+ years but every once in awhile a random french word or phrase will pull itself free from somewhere deep in my mind and confuse the crap out of me.

[cn3wton]

Hello Everyone! Its been awhile with a lot of exciting things going on. Despite feeling like utter crap today and the last few days I am in a great mood and am excited to get back here and post some of what happened during my "Christmas vacation."

 

Amazing news! As of new years day my scale said EXACTLY 300 pounds. Hahaha. While I had hoped to see a 2 at the start of this number I have to say I am quite happy and it seems quite fitting. I didn't think I would be even close after the most recent diet plateau, and had no expectations or disappointment that I had not hit the somewhat arbitrary goal. The fact that if I tried standing JUST right the 2 would flash up on the screen was enough for me to celebrate. I also nailed nutrition throughout this holiday season and am extremely happy. What is funny is that I did not feel like it was hard at all. In part probably due to the motivation factor and the support from family in friends. But I also think a huge part of it is my progress with my relationship with food. I am focusing on getting my protein in and I am happy. This week once I feel better I plan to start transitioning to a more strict diet again with a small twist. But all in all very happy with the direction of this. And it was delivered late last night so I will be able to taste test it tonight. If its any good I will move forward with it. If its not well then I will ditch it and just jump to the rice.

 

My strength and confidence with the lifts is definitely returning. To the point where I am starting to target small errors with the lift and really nail down the form. For pretty much all 3 lifts I am focusing on I am already confident of crushing my previous maxes. While a lot of that has to do with regaining the confidence of the movement, I also believe I am reaching the point of being stronger than I was before. Thanks to higher protein intake and more strength based lifting I am quite confident that my old PR's will be crushed in pretty short order. 

 

Squat - The depth on the squat is fantastic. I know by how it feels that I am well below parallel. I recorded myself and I can confirm that I certainly am. But it doesn't look as deep as it feels. I think this is primarily a current body composition thing. I plan on meeting with my friend who owns the gym to talk to him about it. As I am strongly working to do slow controlled reps will full range of motion. And if there's something I can improve here I want to. I also want to come up with a plan to reduce forward lean at the bottom of my squat. My body instinctively does this to "get lower", and it needs to stop especially at higher weights. I had considered squatting closer to the rack or working with just the bar and nailing the bar path and depth. So that is on the list for this week.

 

Strict Press - This is obviously the hardest lift to see growth on. When going slowed and controlled there's nothing but your strength to help get the bar up. This is the only lift that I have missed prescribed weights at during my set. I am confident that I will still break the projected maxes from the beginning though.

 

Deadlift - By far the lift that I have returned to the easiest. The weights I had prescribed are not necessarily light for a 5x5. But I am 100% slowing down and focusing on bar path here to increase the difficulty of the sets. I am now finishing the workout with upping the weights quite significantly and working to close to failure. By close I mean as soon as I am like "oo didn't like that lift" I am done. Sometimes the last set is 3-5 reps, sometimes it's just 1.

 

For the next 2 weeks or so I am introducing a protein mac and cheese a few days a week to my eating. I am going to try to mix it with some chicken I found. Its low carb breaded chicken tenders. The idea of making a high protein buffalo mac and cheese appeals to me. And I think swapping that in for a few meals will help me better transition to the strict protein, rice, veggie meal plan. 

 

The not so fun news?

First off it was the least restful vacation I have ever done. Instead of resting and relaxing, I worked more each day than I normally do. I worked 5-6 hours a day for my buddy at his gym doing odd jobs like painting, wall repair, hanging shelves, financial bookkeeping, all sorts of just random stuff. I even installed a hot water split for filling buckets and the floor machine with hot water directly into it instead of transferring from the sink with a bucket. On top of this I fixed the wiper in my car, got significant work done on the kitchen/dining room renovation, along with a bunch of random stuff.

 

This all culminated with me hitting a wall last Sunday and I slept most of the day away after going to the gym to replace the outlet covers on the wall I had painted the night before and do a photo for the gym (more on that later). Despite not having much of an appetite I ran to Chipotle to try to eat a higher calorie high protein meal instead of just not eating. They were only doing online orders due to lack of staff, so I sat and waited for my order to be filled. Once it was done I decided to eat in my car. As I got about halfway done I noticed a man across the street at the Panera Bread get out of a car and start walking around in the grass on the side hill. He looked odd and unwell. For a split second I considered seeing if he needed help but I noticed there were people in the car he got out of. He then proceeded to puke his guts out all over the grass on the hill. I turned to my left and a young girl also eating her food in her car and I locked eyes. Almost in unison we put our food into the bags and drove away. I definitely wasn't going to try to eat any more after that. The absolutely WILD part of it was as I was leaving I noticed that despite their friends upchucking everywhere the people in the car were EATING. 

 

I promptly got home and told me Dad I didn't have the energy to work and wanted to sleep. I also told my friends I wouldn't make it to the party that night. Monday I laid in bed and attempted to sleep and relax. My father came down and did some work on the house for a few hours. He did ask if it was okay if he worked and he said yes, but I probably should have said no as I definitely wasn't going to be able to rest while he was there. Between the construction noises and the cat and dog running around while he was there. But I still was able to lay down at least. I was able to finally get to sleep at around 11pm. Which is still very very late as I am usually up at 4, 5am at the latest. I woke up this morning at 8am realizing I had slept through my alarm and got ready for work. Thankfully I make my own schedule and am hoping to get back on track for tomorrow.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I hope you feel better soon.

[Shello]

Congrats on your successful year end weight in!    

 

Sounds like you needed some extra rest.  

[cn3wton]

19 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Thank you me too!

 

18 hours ago, Shello said:

Congrats on your successful year end weight in!    

 

Sounds like you needed some extra rest.  

 

Rest is definitely needed. I am going to rest again tonight to hopefully catch up. 

 

Also thanks I am very pleased to have hit my goal!

[cn3wton]

1/3

 

I woke up this am slightly disappointed as my streak on Duolingo apparently froze? Even though I could have sworn I did practice yesterday it says I didn't... Which is a bit of a bummer but not a huge deal because it honestly is what it is. I'm in it to learn not to do some arbitrary goal that doesn't actually help me towards achieving what I want. Missing a day is not the end of the world. I don't want to add pressure to the task and make it something that its not.

 

Scale is officially under 300lbs at 299.3 today! I am really focusing on diet the next few days to ensure I don't bounce back unreasonably but I am incredibly happy to see that on the scale again. Steps in the right direction!

 

Online dating has been going incredibly well and also cooled off a bit. I have opened up to more long distance connections and am really enjoying that side of it. There is virtually no chance of meeting in person right away due to the distance so it really is more about getting to know the person and just having fun. I have video called with a few different girls and it's honestly been quite refreshing. 

 

Locally I am intentionally slowing it down a bit. There have been some great conversations and possibilities but after the last encounter I realize now more than ever what I want out of dating right now. And personally I'd rather stick with long distance casual stuff than deal with that again for the time being. I still have a ton of work to do on myself. And I am getting everything I could want out of the experience as is right now. Well, pretty much everything.

 

I have a job interview tomorrow for an amazing position that would be a huge opportunity and step for me that I am very very excited about. I cannot wait! It would quite literally be life changing. And it's a job doing the thing I enjoy most, which is continuous improvement.

 

I have not lifted yet this week and I am itching to get back, but I know that I need to give my body some rest. So my plan is to see how things go tomorrow and play it by ear. If I have to do the lifts Friday/Saturday/Sunday that is what I will do. Maybe even Friday/Saturday. But I have to shake this damn cold and rest is the only thing that will do it.

[The Most Loathed]

28 minutes ago, cn3wton said:

Scale is officially under 300lbs at 299.3 today

[cn3wton]

1 hour ago, The Most Loathed said:

[Shello]

2 hours ago, cn3wton said:

Scale is officially under 300lbs at 299.3 today!

 

Good luck on the interview!! 

[Scaly Freak]

4 hours ago, cn3wton said:

Scale is officially under 300lbs at 299.3 today!

 

 

And good luck with the interview. It sounds like a great opportunity!

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

[DarK_RaideR]

All seems to be well. Good luck on the interview!

[RES]

Awesome news on the scale victory as well as the upcoming interview!! 

[cn3wton]

The Interview

 

So since this is where I ramble and rant I figured Id talk out some of my thoughts and feelings about the interview.

 

Firstly I think it went fantastic. I met for 2 separate positions on the same day. One is more of a sidestep on my career, the other is a step up. Obviously I want the one that is a step forward in my career, and my resume was focused primarily on that. I feel like both were a relaxed environment with great back and forth. 

 

I have a friend on the inside who works for the Head Engineer, and he told me that his boss basically said hed hire me on the spot if I want it. But it seemed like I wasn't overly interested in the position and wanted the other one. Which is certainly true. No idea about thoughts from the guy who held my second interview, but I am hopeful. I think there are certainly options at this company. But I would also lose a lot of benefits that I currently have, one of which is a lot of freedom.

 

This is the first time I have interviewed somewhere while also working at a location that had no idea I was looking. The only other time I interviewed while working somewhere else was when I had told my boss I was leaving his vinyl company 3 months before I even found a job to interview for. 

 

Now I am just eagerly waiting on a call!

 

 

[cn3wton]

1/11

 

Not much has happened the past few days of note as far as my goals. Weight is steadily moving in the correct direction which is great. I have not been able to return to the gym yet due to my crazy schedule, and won't be able to tonight due to my good friends mothers calling hours. I plan to be back at it again tomorrow.

 

My appetite is still pretty low and I am getting full insanely quick. Not quite sure whats causing it but I am working on trying to get my calories up. I signed up for a weight loss challenge with a friend and weighed in last night. The challenge is at a nutrition store that a friend is the manager of. It is connected to a Mediterranean food place. Healthy fresh options. I usually get bowls but decided I needed to try to eat more to help me recover so I got a pita. I mistakenly asked for Falafel, But they had already finished making it fresh to put on my pita so I didn't want to ask them to change it out for chicken. It was pretty good, I've never had it before, but I definitely won't be getting it again. I only got about half way through the thing before being full.

 

I have a date scheduled on Sunday which is very exciting. The chatting back and forth through text has been good (we got off the app which is always a good sign!). She mentions in her profile she likes music, and actually recommended the place we are going. A micro brewery with live music. I love to dance, so I kind of figured she would to. Turns out I was wrong haha. I teased her saying that's okay I could teach her. Which apparently was not the move because while she laughed and joked about it, its clear she has no interest in dancing. NBD to me either way. But can't shake the feeling that I need to fix the tone now haha.

 

I think that's it for an update for the challenge. Might ramble about some stuff in my battle log later.

[cn3wton]

The Interview - Just received a call from the place I interviewed at. The woman was very apologetic but the company had a budget review meeting this week and they have put a hiring hold on high level positions (engineer and above) until the middle of this coming year. She said both interviewers spoke incredibly highly of me, and had even discussed creating a role for me that they thought would be an even better fit. But sadly the freeze has put that to an end. It's disappointing but at the same time I am happy to know (and truthfully know from my man inside) that they wanted to hire me desperately. Sadly when you get more into the corporate scale of things it's not always in their control.

 

Current Job - My current position has been great. I have a lot of benefits, so I am not overly upset. I didn't need these other jobs. But at the same time this last week has been incredibly frustrating. On top of driving 15 hours a week on my own time for travel there's just some internal BS going on that makes it all so much worse. I am planning on speaking with the owner and my coworker (whom I call my boss, but really isn't but is friends with the owner) about some things that need to change. 

 

The Date - As I mentioned in my challenge I have a date set for Sunday that I am very excited for. This girl is absolutely gorgeous and our conversations have been fun. We both are extremely busy so they aren't quite as often as I would like, but she is always apologetic if a message goes un-responded to for too long. In her profile it says she likes to listen to music, and she actually picked our first date location (which is a HUGE GREEN FLAG for me). Which is a brewery with live music. So I had sort of assumed that she would like to dance. So I tried to be flirty/forward and say "And I get to dance with you too!? Best first date ever!". Which she responded very well to but did say she couldn't dance and declined in a playful way. So I responded with saying I would teach her (in a flirty way). To which she responded again in a joking attitude but the overall message is she doesn't dance and doesn't want to. Not a problem.

 

BUTTTT Now I am in my own head about it. I have this incessant need now to try to "fix" it. I don't want her to think this disappointed me, or any of the wild possibilities flying through my brain at lightning speed causing me to panic and think I already screwed this up. Thankfully I resisted most of it, simply laughed and said okay and asked about what types of music she likes. But now of course the wait until the response message is driving me absolutely insane. So I am redirecting it and trying to make it a positive. A positive that I am so excited to meet with this girl that I am so worried about it. Stay cool... Stay coool....... GAHHHHH

 

Art Classes - I started teaching drawing at the local gallery again last night. Of the 8ppl who signed up, 4 showed. 2 called in sick, and 2 were no shows. It's not the end of the world, and I will take $80 an hour any day for doing something I enjoy. 2 are elderly ladies that are receptive to instruction but VERY set in their ways. They are always the most challenging and I have to be careful not to push too hard. The youngest is in 12th grade and she is a ROCK STAR. Her art is incredible and she is a quick learner. She is going to really excel in the class. The fourth is the owner of the gallery who insisted on paying. She is my top student from years past and she did very well. She teaches many of the classes now. But she hasn't done this stuff in a long time (how I approach drawing). And she was clearly frustrated at first, but as she remembered and it started to come back she excelled and knocked it out of the park.

 

A book I recommend to anyone getting into art is Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. The most important tool in art is your eyes and how you see. This book and my drawing philosophy focuses on seeing and drawing shapes and starting simple and refining. The first few times you do this it is VERY common for peoples head to actually start hurting. It's a crazy phenomenon. But the best way to explain it is that our minds recognize symbols. This is training your brain to ignore that basic function. That eye is not an eye. its a curve shaped shadow with a dip here. And it can be very mentally taxing at first. I had forgotten this because its just how I see and draw now. So when someone mentioned it I literally went "Oh my god I am so sorry everyone I forgot to tell you that!" And Literally everyone in the class looked up thinking it was just them who was struggling haha. These classes are difficult because I always feel like I am not doing enough. But I always look at the before and after's and realize that people are indeed learning.

 

I think that's it for now!

[Shello]

Your art class sounds pretty cool.  I do a similar trick with color when I see something amazing I'd like to paint.  I try to take away the shapes and the form that your brain insists and seeing but see exactly what colors things.  Forests in the distant your brain tells you are green but if you look they're really brown or grey.   What sorts of drawings do you use for class?

[cn3wton]

On 1/11/2024 at 12:50 PM, Shello said:

Your art class sounds pretty cool.  I do a similar trick with color when I see something amazing I'd like to paint.  I try to take away the shapes and the form that your brain insists and seeing but see exactly what colors things.  Forests in the distant your brain tells you are green but if you look they're really brown or grey.   What sorts of drawings do you use for class?

 

For this class I brought in small busts that I purchased online. They are a few inches tall, mostly of roman/greek sculpture. Everyone wants to learn how to draw people most of the time. And they view it as the hardest thing to do. And at the same time faces are one of the most recognizable shapes for us. So its a great tool to teach people the basics of shape language and proportion.

[cn3wton]

DATING

 

This is quite a 180 from not so long ago. After my previous disastrous dating experience I had considered just sticking to the long distance relationships I had built and continuing to work on myself. I understand that dating is or at least can be messy. But I felt as though it could do more harm than good moving forward.

 

Thankfully this amazing woman changed that. I had continued to use the dating app after the fall out of the previous match. I was not overly feeling it, but at the same time didn't quite want to give up at that point. Just before new years I had matched with this absolutely gorgeous woman. We shared a ton of interests, and I was honestly excited for the match and to talk with her. It certainly helped me during that not so great time. However shortly after she stopped responding. Which happens on dating apps. I just kind of put the apps away and decided to think on the whole prospect of local online dating for a bit before continuing. By new years and the week that followed I had pretty much decided to stop with the apps for now. Thankfully I didn't delete them because out of nowhere she replied back extremely apologetic. She had been severely sick during the holidays, and she was so sorry about just dropping off. We started talking again, and scheduled a date at a local microbrewery that had a band playing yesterday (sunday).

 

We chatted back and forth intermittently. I had asked to exchange phone numbers which certainly helped. The chats were mostly short and spread out, but still great. As I posted about previously I got in my own head about some of the stuff we discussed but all in all she didn't cancel the date so that was good.

 

I showed up a few minutes early Sunday. Opened a tab and grabbed water. I found the only table I could as it was filling up quick and let her know I was there. Shortly after she walked in and I had to use all of my strength to stop my jaw from hitting the floor. She wasn't necessarily dressed up. She was bundled up in a winter jacket with a hat. But she was even more gorgeous than her profile pictures. I said hi and did the normal intro bs. Then we went to the bar to get our drinks. She had been there before and actually suggested the place, so I let her take the lead picking the beers. Which is something I instantly got into my own head about haha. She thanked me for paying and that she isn't used to that since she's been paying her own way since she was 16, so she sometimes finds it hard to accept stuff like that. I acknowledged and said I understood and appreciate that, but I would still like to do it for her and she smiled. 

 

We carried everything back to our table and started chatting. Since we talked for nearly 4 hours I can't and don't need to cover everything. But I will just say the conversation felt 80-90% natural. It didn't feel forced, few if any awkward pauses. I learned a ton about her and did my best to listen despite the loud music. We share a ton of things in common from hobbies to life goals. I made her laugh and all in all it was just incredible. 

 

After the band finished playing I tipped them and closed out my tab and tipped the bartenders before walking her to her car. She was parked directly next to me (what a coincidence!). She is not used to the cold so I didn't want to chat long outside. But we both said we had fun and wanted to meet again. I gave her a hug before she got in her car and told her to drive safe. I sent her a text an hour or so later to make sure she made it home okay and reiterate how much fun I had. While also calling back to something that made her laugh. Which brought a short back to back exchange which made my heart melt. I decided it would be best to call it a night as I didn't want to over do it and said that I would text her tomorrow. 

 

So all in all it was incredible and I am still on cloud 9 about it. As always I am in my head about a ton of things. Did I talk to much about this, should I have talked about this? Etc etc. But I know thats just me. Like me she works a demanding job during the day and is horrible at responding to messages. So last night she sent a message that she definitely wants to talk but can't respond much during the day. I decided to wait until the morning to respond and tell her that I was the same and that was totally okay. 

 

In the end I am trying not to get my hopes up and put excess expectation on this. Its our first date. But this is the first person I have met in 10 years that has made me feel this way pretty much instantly....

[Shello]

Congrats on a lovely first date!  

[RES]

I understand the getting in your head part but I've generally found I was worried a lot about nothing  

[cn3wton]

23 hours ago, Shello said:

Congrats on a lovely first date!  

 

Thank you so much!

 

15 hours ago, RES said:

I understand the getting in your head part but I've generally found I was worried a lot about nothing  

 

I am sure I am, I am going to write up a bit about it shortly. But hearing this from someone else definitely helps so thank you so much for that!

[cn3wton]

Dating , part Dos and a rambling of my past because why not?(Who says I'm not learning spanish!?!?!)

 

So cards on the table I haven't "seriously" dated like... oh I don't know. In 10 years? Actually really only did it around the time I found this place! When I left my restaurant job and started at the job from hell that's when it stopped. I fell into a deep depression, gained the weight back, failed to bounce back. And the downward spiral kept going for oh I don't know. Until about a year ago.

 

But if I am honest it goes way farther back then that. It is difficult to explain if I am quite honest. I remember being attracted to girls in middle school. My first "girlfriend" was actually in elementary school. Sure we didn't really know what that meant at the time, but years later during high school she invited me to her birthday party at her house and she still had the ring and gifts I had given her all the way back then haha. So I don't want to say I was NEVER interested. But I think around the same time of middle school was when I really stopped having any real interest? Don't get me wrong I was still attracted to girls, but that's all it was. I didn't pursue relationships our really try to set anything up or plan anything. I think it was in part due to my astonishingly low self worth even at that part. But I think there was more to it. Like most of the things in my life I now realize that I just floated through life. Like a passenger. The best way I can put it into words is that I played the role of me most of my life. I did what I would expect a script to say.

 

What you could call my first "real" relationship was with a girl I was attracted to sure. But I dated her mainly because I felt like it was something I was supposed to do. When she broke up with me (the first time) it didn't affect me in any way. I literally just sat back down at the library and continued reading. I was a pretty shitty boyfriend in a lot of ways. But we were kids so how much could I actually do? We ended up getting together again for a bit, but we broke up for the final time shortly after I was injured skiing. I had seen how she acted with one of my good friends, and I had asked her if it was because of him. To which she swore up and down it wasn't. Then when I went on vacation she called me to tell me that she was indeed dating him. I was infuriated. Finally some emotion! I realize that for most of my life I feel one extreme emotion or the other, never much in the middle. Maybe both times I just expected it to end. That I never saw it being anything more. Maybe I always thought she deserved someone better. God knows. 

 

Fast forward to college and nothing. I did my studies, went home on the weekends (didn't stay at the dorms) and just coasted through. Shortly near the end of this time I had an emotional breakdown. And I started losing weight, where I shortly after found this wonderful place. A big factor for me losing the weight was to one day find someone. But again, because that's what I should be doing right? After graduating from that school I started an art program, a job, and was in the best shape of my life. And the physical changes had worked. A few girls showed interest, I found them attractive, so I guess I should pursue something right? Sure there were moments of excitement. But again nearly no emotion when things ended. Like I expected it. 

 

A girl I worked with was, for me, what many would call "The one who got away." She was absolutely breathtaking. We hung out outside of work, went on dates, I missed many obvious signs. This was the closest I think I ever felt to what people describe as love at first sight. This was the first girl I actually tried to build a relationship with. And at the time I was in great shape and moderately healthy, so that likely helped with my mental state as well. But now, looking back, I don't think it was anything more than attraction. And sure time can twist things, but again I think this was me kind of playing things out.

 

Fast forward to now and my mental health is the best its ever been in my life. I notice the difference, people notice the difference in me when I stopped taking my medication for 1-2 weeks. I can now confidently say that this is something I have dealt with my whole life. And this woman I met, to me she's breathtaking. Not just physically either. Our conversation of nearly 4 interrupted hours was incredible. It all felt so natural, I smile every time I think about her or are asked about her by friends. It's wierd. I've never felt like this in my whole entire life.

 

Now this is where the last of my mental health issues exacerbate issues everyone has. We both acknowledged we are horrible at responding to messages and texting back. This is true, I 100% am. Ive never been on the other side of it though and I am trying to keep myself in check. After our date and I sent a check in message to make sure she got home okay she responded, and we did short witty remarks back and forth with about 10-15 minutes between. Which is FAST for me. When it was time for me to call it a night I said goodnight and hope to talk tomorrow. I sent her a message in the morning, she responded later in the day. I had asked her schedule during the week. She responded with it, and also that she prefers weekends just so shes not tired for work on the morning. This is understandable. I didn't respond right away, and mentioned if we did anything during the week it could be dinner or something quicker. And then asked how her day was. Radio silence since and that was last night.

 

THIS IS NOT out of the norm for me as far as response times. My rationale brain tells me that if she didn't want to talk to me again and lied about meeting up again she would have said something by now. But my god damn stupid fucking brain won't stop panicking. What makes this even worse is I am dealing with emotions and feelings I have, quite literally, never experienced before in my life. The closest I even came to this was 10 years ago.

 

So anyways, thats my rant. Did I prove a point? Did I achieve something with this. I don't know. But I know I sure as shit said some things? So that helps.

 

 

[Elastigirl]

I think it is a very normal reaction when you really like this girl, and you are just at the start of the relationship, to be worried. That said,  keep reminding yourself of the reality that she said she was busy during the week, and not that great at quick responses. If the relationship continues, this may be just a fact you have to deal with. Hugs, it's hard when  emotions are so string, sometimes you  just have to ride it out, while trying to keep your feet grounded in truth.