[Laghail]

9 hours ago, Sea-to-sky said:

Gym options seem pretty decent. Nice to have lots of choice

 

It's not the reason we're moving, but we are looking forward to being in a bigger town with all the extra choices. In UK terms, Wiki says it's like moving from York to Sheffield?? Did I UK correctly?

[Scaly Freak]

13 hours ago, Laghail said:

Shopping for a new Gym is a extremely low priority task, but it's fun and escapist so I'll list the options here:

 

The amount of options, and the variety, is a very good problem to have. Enjoy the comparison shopping!

[Sea-to-sky]

2 hours ago, Laghail said:

In UK terms, Wiki says it's like moving from York to Sheffield?? Did I UK correctly?

Errr 😅 i have no idea??

that combo makes me think your moving from a resonably affluent smaller town to an large very industrial one (Sheffield is famous for steel works). Both are massive  by  my standards so it may be me

 

[sarakingdom]

11 hours ago, Laghail said:

It's not the reason we're moving, but we are looking forward to being in a bigger town with all the extra choices. In UK terms, Wiki says it's like moving from York to Sheffield?? Did I UK correctly?

 

In terms of population/distance, possibly, but it might be kind of complicated.

 

York is a regional capital of major historical significance back to Roman and Viking times, and has been an economic powerhouse most of that time, while Sheffield is essentially part of the Rust Belt of the UK. York narrowly missed being a UN world heritage site and regularly tops lists of the best cities in Europe and best cities to live in the UK; Sheffield is a washed-up former steel town recovering from decades of economic slide, and even in its heydey it was known for brutal gang violence and poor conditions for the working class. George Orwell called it the ugliest town in the old world for its endless shoddy working class housing. It's one of the dehumanizing dark satanic mills of William Blake's Jerusalem, while York is important cathedrals and largely intact medieval walled city and Victorian industry at its most pro-worker; it was home to at least one of the Quaker-run chocolate companies that all pushed for major improvements in labor conditions and laws. Sheffield has 400% more population than York, but only 130% larger economy, so it's relatively a much poorer city. (To be fair to Sheffield, I believe it is a perfectly cromulent city that's getting by very well, thank you, and is doing well at rebuilding economically and culturally. It's coming out pretty strong. But reputationally, it's pure rust belt decline and gray drab industrialism start to finish being compared to one of the great classical cities of Europe.)

 

So moving from York to Sheffield for more choices of things is not entirely a slam dunk. Not impossible; size can do a lot in some areas. But you don't generally move from York to Sheffield for improved quality of life. You might do it for a better salary pushing TPS reports around a larger IT office. And it's probably not as bleak as its reputation; Northern industrial towns get a bad rap in general these days. It's not all deserved, and there are historical reasons for the parts that were. But York is pretty fucking magical.

[Sea-to-sky]

👆this. 
like @sarakingdom said. If feels  weird in my head. Mostly for deep layers of cultural, economic and social stuff associated with both places.

 

 

[Silmarilliane]

As another UK-er, yes SO many other things than size to factor in with moving from York to Sheffield. Sarakingdom's summation is very on point 👌

[Harriet]

Oh wow, the house looks cute and the inside looks comfortable and generous. I hope you will be happy there!

[Laghail]

10 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

 

In terms of population/distance, possibly, but it might be kind of complicated.

 

York is a regional capital of major historical significance back to Roman and Viking times, and has been an economic powerhouse most of that time, while Sheffield is essentially part of the Rust Belt of the UK. York narrowly missed being a UN world heritage site and regularly tops lists of the best cities in Europe and best cities to live in the UK; Sheffield is a washed-up former steel town recovering from decades of economic slide, and even in its heydey it was known for brutal gang violence and poor conditions for the working class. George Orwell called it the ugliest town in the old world for its endless shoddy working class housing. It's one of the dehumanizing dark satanic mills of William Blake's Jerusalem, while York is important cathedrals and largely intact medieval walled city and Victorian industry at its most pro-worker; it was home to at least one of the Quaker-run chocolate companies that all pushed for major improvements in labor conditions and laws. Sheffield has 400% more population than York, but only 130% larger economy, so it's relatively a much poorer city. (To be fair to Sheffield, I believe it is a perfectly cromulent city that's getting by very well, thank you, and is doing well at rebuilding economically and culturally. It's coming out pretty strong. But reputationally, it's pure rust belt decline and gray drab industrialism start to finish being compared to one of the great classical cities of Europe.)

 

So moving from York to Sheffield for more choices of things is not entirely a slam dunk. Not impossible; size can do a lot in some areas. But you don't generally move from York to Sheffield for improved quality of life. You might do it for a better salary pushing TPS reports around a larger IT office. And it's probably not as bleak as its reputation; Northern industrial towns get a bad rap in general these days. It's not all deserved, and there are historical reasons for the parts that were. But York is pretty fucking magical.

 

This is fascinating, thank you so much for sharing!!

 

[Laghail]

Wednesday May 8th

[Halloween, by The Sylver Lining]

 

Time Traveling Habits

• Dead Tree Time
  • ✅🔲
• Creative Time
  • ✅✅🔲
• Trad Time
  • 🔲
• Bed Time
  • ✅✅✅🔲
• HIIT Time
  • ✅✅✅🔲
• Early Bird Time
  • ✅✅✅

   

[The Miracles of St Romain, Église Saint-Godard, given 1540, photo credit: Professor Moriarty]

 

Life Updates

• Wading through the v uneven world tour in Gargoyles right now. This is part 2 of season 2, and the writing is bizarre and the pacing is bad, but I'm still enjoying myself. I'd incorrectly thought that this was the part of the show that the creator disavowed, but it's wacky and bad while still getting the cannon stamp of approval from Greg Weisman. 🤷‍♂️
• Packing. All of life is now packing. No complaints, but also no exciting updates. Literally RSVP'd no on attending an orgy so I could stay home tonight and pack. #adulting
• Interesting to watch me have a mini tantrum yesterday as we packed through snarls of mess and disorganization in the basement that we'd been living with for 5 years. A mix of working through patterns of self-abnegation that made me okay living in mess, changing capacities with disabled family members, and my own insecurity around still being valued if my loved ones didn't require my full time care.
• Therapy continues to be a waste of time, no one should bother with it. 😉
• Poking around the hagiography of St Romain / Romanus of Rouen. Looks like the Normandy Saint was ground zero for French mythology around Gargoyles and carved grotesques in ecclesiastical art. Interesting repeating motif of river dragons and seasonal flooding attached to the creatures; compare with the Russian river myths of Veles and the dragon, the Polish myths of the Wawel Dragon, and the unnamed Celtic dragons associated with the Thames. Just a fun confluence in mythology.

[Goliath/Elisa, by The Sylver Lining]

[athousandwords]

7 hours ago, Laghail said:

• Packing. All of life is now packing. No complaints, but also no exciting updates. Literally RSVD'd no on attending an orgy so I could stay home tonight and pack. #adulting
• Interesting to watch me have a mini tantrum yesterday as we packed through snarls of mess and disorganization in the basement that we'd been living with for 5 years. A mix of working through patterns of self-abnegation that made me okay living in mess, changing capacities with disabled family members, and my own insecurity around still being valued if my loved ones didn't require my full time care.

 

Moving always makes me avow to be a minimalist. I'm just shocked at how much stuff we accumulate - right before I head to Target/Amazon/etc and buy more. 

 

But I'm sorry that in your case packing is also dredging up feelings of insecurity and rough times. It sounds like therapy is helping you get perspective on it, but I hope you can schedule some self-care in there as well amongst all the packing. An orgy maybe? 😈

[Mad Hatter]

Maybe it's more like moving to Bristol? Loads of things to do in a relatively small city. Either way congrats, that's amazing!

 

13 hours ago, Laghail said:

the Polish myths of the Wawel Dragon,

I've never heard that the Wawel dragon is explicitly related to rivers or flooding. I thought it was more of a good old fashioned dragon eats everything in sight and causes chaos type of dragon. It definitely lives in a cave, not the river, I remember visiting its home as a kid.

 

5 hours ago, athousandwords said:

But I'm sorry that in your case packing is also dredging up feelings of insecurity and rough times. It sounds like therapy is helping you get perspective on it, but I hope you can schedule some self-care in there as well amongst all the packing. An orgy maybe? 😈

Wise words.

[Sepherina]

On 5/7/2024 at 10:03 AM, Laghail said:

 

That's an amazing photo series! How'd you get the lithographic effect on the last one??

Thanks! I took a photo of the lithographic they had.

[Laghail]

8 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Maybe it's more like moving to Bristol? Loads of things to do in a relatively small city. Either way congrats, that's amazing!

 

Thanks my friend! 

 

8 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

I've never heard that the Wawel dragon is explicitly related to rivers or flooding. I thought it was more of a good old fashioned dragon eats everything in sight and causes chaos type of dragon. It definitely lives in a cave, not the river, I remember visiting its home as a kid.

 

Yep! More commenting on the Wawel dragon's cave by the river and it dying as the Vistula exploded out of the Wawel's body. Not interested in Campbell's monomyth, I agree that overgeneralizations like that are ignorant and often racist. I think it's instead just fun to see examples of dragon myths where the beast issues from a mountain or cave, and then merges with the nearby river. It makes a nice backdrop for our Gargouille as a dragon who's body St Romain couldn't burn at the stake, so he quenches the burning body in the Seine and then mounts the remnants of the dragon to the Cathédrale de Notre Dame de Rouen, funneling rainwater instead of the river. Sorta makes a second act for the instances where dragon myths act as a metaphor for riverine ecology. All of this just-so-story supposes a fixed understanding of a single myth, which is where I again agree that Campbell's monomyth is dumb. Local mythologies are never a single narrative, and individual myths reflect thousands of different local stories in thousands of different retellings.

 

That's so fun you got to visit the Wawel's home as a kid!! 

[Silmarilliane]

19 hours ago, Laghail said:

• Packing. All of life is now packing. No complaints, but also no exciting updates. Literally RSVP'd no on attending an orgy so I could stay home tonight and pack. #adulting
• Interesting to watch me have a mini tantrum yesterday as we packed through snarls of mess and disorganization in the basement that we'd been living with for 5 years. A mix of working through patterns of self-abnegation that made me okay living in mess, changing capacities with disabled family members, and my own insecurity around still being valued if my loved ones didn't require my full time care.

 

12 hours ago, athousandwords said:

Moving always makes me avow to be a minimalist. I'm just shocked at how much stuff we accumulate - right before I head to Target/Amazon/etc and buy more. 

 

But I'm sorry that in your case packing is also dredging up feelings of insecurity and rough times. It sounds like therapy is helping you get perspective on it, but I hope you can schedule some self-care in there as well amongst all the packing. An orgy maybe? 😈

 

Firstly, I'd love to reach that level of adulting to be able to turn down the offers!

I had a big clear through of the main bookshelf in the lounge a few weeks ago and since then have been generally sorting through a few bits/chucking stuff in the charity bag day to day, and it totally feels like 'Death Clearing' (where you basically do all the sorting of your stuff in advance of dying so your family etc don't have to do it)

[Laghail]

3 hours ago, Silmarilliane said:

Firstly, I'd love to reach that level of adulting to be able to turn down the offers!

I had a big clear through of the main bookshelf in the lounge a few weeks ago and since then have been generally sorting through a few bits/chucking stuff in the charity bag day to day, and it totally feels like 'Death Clearing' (where you basically do all the sorting of your stuff in advance of dying so your family etc don't have to do it)

 

Sex and death, can't think of any two topics more foundational.  Are you in good health tho? Much love if you are doing "death cleaning".

The group sex thing is weird. The gay community has the "bear" label that celebrates body diversity, and there's accompanying kinks and labels like "chaser" which denotes a skinnier/fitter bodied person that enjoys people with fatter bodies. Weird to experience body attractiveness signifiers partially inverted in those circles, like, sometimes those men have a more positive relationship with my body than I do with my own. Not bad, but very weird.

[Laghail]

[Spike, by Momma Spike]

 

Time Traveling Habits

• Dead Tree Time
  • ✅✅
• Creative Time
  • ✅✅✅
• Trad Time
  • 🔲
• Bed Time
  • ✅✅✅✅
• HIIT Time
  • ✅✅✅✅
• Early Bird Time
  • ✅✅✅✅
• Treat'O Time
  • 🔲

[Wawel Dragon Gargoyle, Cathedral Basilica of Saints Stanisław and Vaclav. Photo by Chuck LaChiusa]

 

Life Updates

• Adding an additional habit, "Treat'O Time", where my goal is to get a sugary pastry at least once a week, complete with a food porn pic to qualify. Monthly weight loss clinic always has me feeling some kinda way, and imma keep working on reframing dietary choices. Either that or court an eating disorder.
• Took a massssssive carload of odds and ends to the charity shop last night and it felt sooooo empowering. 10/10 would recommend.
• Also found the chromatic kalimba that I'd been missing for more than a year, buried in a stack of books I processed this morning. 10/10 would recommend for beach lounging.  

[Confrontation, by Momma Spike]

[Scaly Freak]

On 5/8/2024 at 11:29 AM, Laghail said:

Poking around the hagiography of St Romain / Romanus of Rouen. Looks like the Normandy Saint was ground zero for French mythology around Gargoyles and carved grotesques in ecclesiastical art. Interesting repeating motif of river dragons and seasonal flooding attached to the creatures; compare with the Russian river myths of Veles and the dragon, the Polish myths of the Wawel Dragon, and the unnamed Celtic dragons associated with the Thames. Just a fun confluence in mythology.

 

River dragon 😇

 

 

What? It counts!

[Laghail]

4 hours ago, Scaly Freak said:

 

River dragon 😇

 

 

What? It counts!

sure as Hel does! (I did me a pun)

[TimovieMan]

8 hours ago, Laghail said:

The gay community has the "bear" label that celebrates body diversity, and there's accompanying kinks and labels like "chaser" which denotes a skinnier/fitter bodied person that enjoys people with fatter bodies. Weird to experience body attractiveness signifiers partially inverted in those circles, like, sometimes those men have a more positive relationship with my body than I do with my own. Not bad, but very weird.

The "chaser" label and concept isn't exclusive to the gay community.

There are plenty of people who think curves are more attractive than bones and are a LOT nicer and softer to cuddle up to (and don't make you feel like you're going to break them)... 😅

[Silmarilliane]

10 hours ago, Laghail said:

Sex and death, can't think of any two topics more foundational.  Are you in good health tho? Much love if you are doing "death cleaning".

 

Yes, probably the best health of my life! I hit 40 last year and figured it was time to get a will, and my roadmap for the year is to actually 'complete' things that I've been in progress with for years (yay ADHD!) so the term 'death cleaning' is more just accepting death will happen at some point rather than knowing it's imminent

 

9 hours ago, Laghail said:

Took a massssssive carload of odds and ends to the charity shop last night and it felt sooooo empowering. 10/10 would recommend.

 

Yes! I always have a wheelie trolley which I fill as I find things I don't want/need any more, and it's so cathartic to get rid of things, especially to know someone else might get good use out of it. There are a few neighbourhood sharing apps here too for getting rid of things charity shops won't take, as I hate throwing things away!

 

10 hours ago, Laghail said:

The group sex thing is weird. The gay community has the "bear" label that celebrates body diversity, and there's accompanying kinks and labels like "chaser" which denotes a skinnier/fitter bodied person that enjoys people with fatter bodies. Weird to experience body attractiveness signifiers partially inverted in those circles, like, sometimes those men have a more positive relationship with my body than I do with my own. Not bad, but very weird.

 

I've only recently got into swinging-scene things (though I don't really think it's swinging if I go with a FWB) and some clubs, but I've found them generally very positive experiences. It can definitely be weird when someone likes something about you you've never particularly liked, but I definitely have been attracted to things in other people that they've had massive hangups about their whole lives...

Sidepoint, I was boardgaming with a work colleague and a bunch of his (gay) friends, and they said I was like a gay man in a woman's body, and I've never felt so validated.

[Mad Hatter]

17 hours ago, Laghail said:

sometimes those men have a more positive relationship with my body than I do with my own

welcome to the club, this is true for like 99% of women

[Sovalis]

“sometimes those men have a more positive relationship with my body than I do with my own”

 

Oof, yes. One of my FWB absolutely loves how I look and I am all “pardon?” But it’s a constant lesson in learning to take the compliment and just say “thank you”. It has taken a lot of work for me to realize that just because I am not *my* type doesn’t mean that I am not someone else’s. It’s also weirdly validating because Dave never comments on my body one way or another. The lack of “you look nice” from him in contrast to Fox’s “You’re gorgeous” is an interesting thing for me to navigate. Just as there are different bodies in the world, the personalities vary too. One’s not better than the other, just different. 

[Laghail]

12 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

welcome to the club, this is true for like 99% of women

 

Meh, I like you people better anyway, happy to join.

[Mad Hatter]

53 minutes ago, Laghail said:

Meh, I like you people better anyway, happy to join.

Most welcome, not sure I'd recommend the body dysmorphic part though.

[Sea-to-sky]

 

On 5/9/2024 at 11:21 PM, Laghail said:

Also found the chromatic kalimba that I'd been missing for more than a year, buried in a stack of books I processed this morning. 10/10 would recommend for beach lounging.  

snap! 😆
(Also, wow, mine really needs cleaning. Didn't realise it was getting a tad rusty)

 

14 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

not sure I'd recommend the body dysmorphic part though

Seconding this. It sucks. Also judging your happiness with your own appearance by other people's opinions. Not recommended.