[Heidi]

Am now spending an inordinate amount of time looking up farms on Zillow courtesy of @Artemis Prime  

[Artemis Prime]

27 minutes ago, Heidi said:

Am now spending an inordinate amount of time looking up farms on Zillow courtesy of @Artemis Prime  

And in accordance with our deal, I am lounging at the mattress store, waiting for a sales associate

[Heidi]

9 minutes ago, Artemis Prime said:

And in accordance with our deal, I am lounging at the mattress store, waiting for a sales associate

I am now getting ready for a social outing (gasp! the horror!) and will definitely check back for updates after dinner.

May your mattress hunting go exceedingly well!

 

Before you spend a huge amount of money, I found that a 3" organic latex mattress "topper" totally rebuilt my back-wrecking mattress for about $300. I liked it so much i dumped the matress and just sleep on the latex, and it's pretty blissful

 

ETA: Link: https://www.amazon.com/Green-Natural-Latex-Mattress-Topper/dp/B09RK2938H/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=3RN1C340FQR81&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ZHWMl_e_SBqCagHY7LN3x9is5dSfoC01iGsGNVxignfZuR05mA0VGkTCV24oqezerCeOdlvuHUlwCX6c_LJCf2VrYqmeLAou8gW1B0vIXhDef7Q-x2s0xhHOwVf1gewxxd36kT7fFfDLVhNBrN19UOlNSlS1lXjH95ShaVZJ1SM_4itRrC2BgXmOBFVQcCIWVc3F5N0W6MbiqcSBZu0RkmlMplvjDtO-_DOgRDgZK6nDgUaPzAXyUCyu0DvoPJEzNe22JjmN4GKEkcLLVS464ecJcKm2k6p9VMM06WsK7L0.FyyOJ6Ho5gnACZ2TI8REkpEwjOQNdJd8mHZDxEvmxuM&dib_tag=se&keywords=latex%2Bmattress%2Btopper&qid=1727125319&sprefix=latex%2Bmattress%2B%2Caps%2C118&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&th=1

[Heidi]

I did the dinner thing and it was good actually?

I had a really nice time and am looking forward to doing it again, and am also definitely wiped out from all the outside and people today.

It was a lot, and now I’m in my cave and am listening to the last of the storm.

 

I’m probably going to rest my eyes for a minute then watch an episode and go to sleep.

This was a Big Day, and there were many steps taken (FitBit Sez over 7000).

 

Tomorrow is supposed to be Zazen at the Zendo.

We’ll see how I feel at 5:30 — I might still be in recovery mode.

[Heidi]

13 hours ago, Heidi said:

I’m probably going to rest my eyes for a minute

This turned into being asleep for an hour and a half, then walking up ravenous.

I went downstairs and poured a glass of milk and grabbed some nuts and sat down to watch Agatha All Along, which is cute so far. I think Georgia might enjoy it. 

While I was doing that, a text came in on the Band Officers group chat, way past any reasonable time to be sending texts for that group, asking for help distributing tee shirts tomorrow. I saw this as the opportunity from the Universe that it is to reclaim the ground lost by missing the first-home-game-gathering, and sent an "I can be there" reply. Of course this means I'll miss the Zendo sit, but it's the way of Football Season, so here we go, another serendipitous social event this evening. 

 

I slept very well. 

It was thunderstorming when I woke up, and I got myself convinced that it was 7:30 already. Friends, it was only a few minutes past six, but life with a TBI is trippy. I was feeling very creaky and a little cranky, and laid there legitimately considering reasons for not logging in to work. I did eventually get up and make tea, and then put on my tennis shoes, which made me almost autopilot my way out the door. The storm had settled into a mist, and I walked the long way, noticing two apples along the rundown side of the block farthest from my front door, propped in the now-empty doorway that often houses a person in a sleeping bag, and I wondered if someone left them for that person, or if the person left them as an offering of gratitude. I thought about gratitiude as I started up the hill (the reasons kicked into high gear at this point, convinced that we could walk right past the gym door and go back to bed), and noticed I was sorely lacking in gratitude this morning. As I started up the hill, I gave thanks for my apartment. I gave thanks for the abandoned doorways that have sheltered so many in these tough times, and I gave thanks for the gym. By that time, I had climbed the hill and crossed to the gym door on autopilot. I was still worn out, but the clerk's cheeful Good morning helped me give thanks for friendliness that can be both given and received, and I smiled and called good morning back as I headed to the track. I did a few laps -- the reasons weren't wrong, I was deeply worn out--and then headed to the locker room for the steam room and sauna. Once again, the steam room soothed my soul. Thank you, Universe.

 

It is super grey, and I think I'm feeling the consequences of eating a few bites of cake last night at my dinner with Kathy. It was a pumpkin spice cake with cream cheese frosting, made fresh at the restaurant, and it was very good. Note to self: even well-made desserts still take a toll. I'm glad I only ate a few bites, and I'm glad I was able to work through the crankiness and creakiness this morning. I'm still a little cranky and creaky, and I wouldn't turn down a day spent in bed, but I'm able to log in and do the work in front of me with a clear head, an open heart, and a present mind. This is good; this is the Way.

 

❤️ 

[Heidi]

Forgot to mention that before logging in, I put my spa wrap and gym towel in the laundry (Cantrip Daily task), then collected the compost pail (Druiding Weekly task) and set it outside my door for pickup later this afternoon.

 

The Band Committee is sending out a call for parent help with the loading and unloading of props and things for the competition on Saturday, and you know I need to say yes to that, so I will. 

Looks like it's going ot be a whole week of Social Steps and Wellness Appointments.

Thank you, Universe.

[Heidi]

Okay, so it's Day Two of Week Three, and I still haven't gotten my Weekly Alignment list together.

 

• Week Two September 16 -- Full Marks

  • Constitution: ✔️

    • Cantrips: ✔️

      • Eat fiber daily, this was a solid win most days, and even on days where it was light it was still “enough” ✔️ 

      • drink milk, and boy did I. I had to supplement my existing milk share with an additional half-gallon (still from a local dairy) ✔️ 

      • Laundry ✔️

      • Low-spend on food: spent a little extra at the butcher, but all within budget ✔️

  • Stamina: Sleep was pretty solid this week. ✔️

  • Strength: 

    • Kept a very good attitude about work this week ✔️

    • Gym Days: ➕ 4 days of the gym, plus a Saturday of Out-And-Abouting

  • Dexterity 

    • Druiding

      • Compost Pail ✔️ 

      • Zazen. ❌

      • massage ✔️

      • pick up the farm share ✔️

      • Butcher: Pick up shrimp for Georgia ✔️

      • Housekeeping ✔️

  • Intelligence 

    • Review  Qualifying Exam questions with James. ✔️

    •  Draft a plan for the Qualifying Exam. ✔️

    • Read four two articles (of four) for the upcoming meeting. ✔️

  • Wisdom 

    • Kind of a spendy weekend for things for Georgia, but otherwise solid. ✔️

    • Credit card payment ✔️

  • Charisma -- this was very full this week. 

    • Pinball ✔️

    • Phone Call with Chris ✔️

    • Writing Student  ✔️

    • Phone Call with Georgia ✔️

    • Band Committee Meeting ❌

    • Football game ✔️

    • Saturday Out-And_about ✔️

This week has a lot of the same activities as a base: gym and walking and fiber and milk, but also has a lot of appointments and social events. Sunday is going to have to be a full-on rest day, I can already tell

• Monday appointment with Georgia's counselor
• Tuesday band committee tee shirt sales
• Tuesday evening political organization meeting
• Read two more essays before Wednesday morning
• Wednesday lunch meeting
• Wednesday Philosopher James
• Thursday Dentist
• Friday Brain PT (first appointment and I'm nervous about it)
• Friday acupuncture
• Saturday Band Competition Support Team

[Sovalis]

Thank you for sharing your gratitude practice from your walk. It is beautiful and made me cry in a soul-easing way. You're amazing and I love that you exist. ?

[Heidi]

48 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Thank you for sharing your gratitude practice from your walk. It is beautiful and made me cry in a soul-easing way. You're amazing and I love that you exist. ?

Wow, thank you.

I love that this mattered, and I love that it mattered to you.

You're so great.

❤️ 

[Heidi]

I have a bunch of beef in the freezer that needs to be used, so I pulled out a pack of stew beef and sauteed it up with a sauce and some red pepper from the farm share. 

I put it in a bowl over the barley I made on Saturday morning, and friends, I was halfway through it before I realized the meat is a little off.

UGH.

This makes my heart sore. 

And also I will need to go through the freezer and dump all the beef, a task I do not love on many fronts.

 

Also, I'm still hungry and am out of time before the afternoon meetings begin.

 

Thank goodness for pistachios, milk, and dried fruit.

 

[Heidi]

These meetings are ridiculous and I'm finding my mind wandering. 

 

This weekend had a bunch of really great moment, and at one point, while Georgia and I were just hanging out making lunch, not having said anything for a bit, I looked over at her and said:

"ooOOO Hoo!"

And she broke into a big grin, struck a pose, pointed a finger at me and said

"shut up and dance with me!"

 

And now it's all I can do to keep myself from blasting this song at saturation levels to drown out the mundanity of this meeting.

If they only knew.

[RES]

18 hours ago, Heidi said:

 

This weekend had a bunch of really great moment, and at one point, while Georgia and I were just hanging out making lunch, not having said anything for a bit, I looked over at her and said:

"ooOOO Hoo!"

And she broke into a big grin, struck a pose, pointed a finger at me and said

"shut up and dance with me!"

I love this so much ❤️ 

[Heidi]

Friends, it's nearly noon and I am still so, so tired.

 

The rain isn't helping anything in my head, even though the poor parched ground definitely needs it.

Right now the rain is forecast to go on for the better part of a week, and there's a slim chance that Helene will skip a little eastward and end up in my area early next week. It's unlikey, but don't count out my ability to break the curve.

 

I fell asleep at a normalish time last night, then woke up at 1 with the jitters of a neurological event. At first these always seem like nervous energy and racing thoughts, the early edge of panic, but once I recognize it for what it is, I can usually surf the wave. I ended up drinking a lot of milk (just over a liter) and sitting with a heating pad until everything calmed back down. It took about 90 minutes, according to fitbit.

 

I didn't wake up until a quarter til 8, which is good for sleep, but absolutely off step for my ideal schedule.

I didn't feel right in the head and the reasons didn't even have to chime in -- I was clearly not going to the gym or to work or even getting out of bed for the next forty-leven years.

Until suddenly I was.

I got up, went to the bathroom, went downstairs and made tea, put on my gym clothes while the kettle heated and took my morning blood pressure medication.

I took the rinsed dishes from last night and put them in the dishwasher and pushed play.

I put on my tennis shoes and walked out.

I took the long way around, enjoying the misty grey morning, and the surprise of the day was all about flowers: purple morning glories growing up through some diplapidated fence wire wedged between two buildings, and a boquet of dahlias placed on top of a trash bin, making me wonder if someone was courting a sanitation worker.

I walked up the hill and was convinced this was a bad idea and that I should be back in bed, if only I could teleport myself, and then somehow I was in the gym at just past 8, and on the track. 

By the time I remembered that I had forgotten to count laps, I had already done three quarters of a mile, so I did a few more and then went to the steam room, which never disappoints.

 

I became human in the shower, somewhere between washing my face and rinsing out the conditioner, and even though I am not anything close to energetic, I'm functional. 

I logged in to work.

This is the Way.

Mostly dead means slightly alive.

My lunch meeting today out of the building has been rescheduled for Tuesday.

I have a virtual meeting iwth James at 2, and I haven't done the other two essays yet, and all will be well.

Work is nothing short of ridiculous.

I have nothing on my calendar that involves leaving the house, and I am so very glad.

 

❤️

[Heidi]

I had considered writing to ask james to reschedule, and got two-thirds through the message and then discarded it, knowing that whatever I had read would be sufficient for our talk, because James is wonderful like that and our conversations are just amazing no matter what the topic.

 

Imagine my surprise when I got a message from him with the subject "Reschedule." My first thought was that I had inadvertantly sent the half-baked message instead of discarding it, but it turns out he was writing me asking to reschedule for a whole host of reasons, and of course I said yes.

 

Thank you Universe, for the opportunity to be gracious with others and to receive grace in doing so.

?

[Heidi]

While I was making lunch, the internet went out.

 

I hear you, Universe, and I agree.

Lunch today is a plate of batch-cooked ingredients: Barley, navy beans with some cheese on top. I sliced up a couple mini bell peppers (ornage, and they are just too adorable looking) to give some crunch and make sure there's something in the way of vitamin C, and fetched out the applesauce from a local farmer that came in this week's farm share. 

 

I thought about the points sustem that I've been using this challenge and I'm liking it.

I've got some reflections that I'm going to journal about while the 'net is down.

I'll set this on draft and maybe it will when the internet is back up.

[Laghail]

On 9/24/2024 at 1:54 PM, Heidi said:

These meetings are ridiculous and I'm finding my mind wandering. 

 

This weekend had a bunch of really great moment, and at one point, while Georgia and I were just hanging out making lunch, not having said anything for a bit, I looked over at her and said:

"ooOOO Hoo!"

And she broke into a big grin, struck a pose, pointed a finger at me and said

"shut up and dance with me!"

 

Amazing!!

[Heidi]

Hurricane Helene might still be out to sea in the Gulf of Mexico, but we’re having tornado warnings and severe thunderstorm cells all the way to Virginia.

I think this storm might surprise a lot of people in its sheer size.

I hope all the Florida nerds are staying safe — storm surge of up to 20 feet at Cat4 is no joke.

 

The only sensible thing to do is charge all my devices and download enough media to get me through an extended internet outage, in the event that happens.

I have actually been thinking about bringing the large water purifier out of storage and setting it up, though it would take a level of gumption I clearly don’t have access to just now: the headache issues got bad enough that I took a Maxalt at 4 and just sat from 4:30 -8:30 waiting to feel human, and even then it took another hour for me to have the energy to even so much as pick up my cup of tea. I haven’t had an episode of deep exhaustion like this in a couple years, and I’m taking it seriously.

 

Thinking a bit more about storm prep, I should probably get a few on-hand things like crackers, which I’m currently out of. 

Tomorrow is Farm Share day, and I’ll see what they have at the local-goods retail store. I’ll probably pick up some apples, because who doesn’t love having apples on hand, and a couple jars of prepared marinara. I think it might be time to simmer a chicken breast or two and make a golden noodle soup.

 

Despite the fact that the storm is meant to move west into the Ohio Valley region, rainfall totals for Friday are spanning up to four inches for my area, and we are already saturated from several days of rain. These were exactly the conditions which led to the Election Day Flood of 1985 (and yes, I was here then). I don’t expect it will get that bad, but I also think it is absolute folly to plan to drive an hour southwest into the storm for a troublesome brain PT appointment. I’ll be canceling that, thank you very much.

 

The thunder is crashing around, and as the storm broke 30 minutes ago, my head finally cleared a bit.

I might do some chores, or I might just hang out and enjoy feeling whole for a bit.

 

May you stay safe and dry, friends.

Check on your people.

❤️ 

 

 

[Heidi]

Ooof, the head this morning is a mess.

No gym, obviously; Maxalt is a blessing. Thank you, Pharmacy.

 

I logged in,

There is tea.

All will be well.

❤️ 

[Artemis Prime]

You are so incredibly gracious to yourself and to others and navigate the ups and downs of life with such dignity and honor. It is very inspiring.

[Heidi]

10 hours ago, Artemis Prime said:

You are so incredibly gracious to yourself and to others and navigate the ups and downs of life with such dignity and honor. It is very inspiring.

Thank you. I always feel as though I’m kind of feeling my way along in the dark, and maybe that’s what grace and compassion is all about. ??

 

Today was very difficult for me to get it together. My head was, predictably, a wreck.

The demo went well enough, and I’m blessed to have a team that works well together. 

I did a lot of work with a difficult programmer after the demo, and about 30 minutes into it, feeling frustrated and as though I just wanted to vote him Right Off The Island, thank you very much, I took a deep breath and realized that the work was the same whether I was frustrated or not. I changed my inner-monologue tone and took a deep breath.

 

I asked the programmer what he needed from me to be able to complete his work and send it to me for testing.

He waxed poetic for many lines in the group chat and I simply let them go by, because they didn’t answer the question, and waited until there was a glimmer of something that might, in fact, be an answer to a question. This helped keep me from gettin distracted by all the “hmmm, well maybe”s that he had going on. I mean, in my defense it’s pretty easy to pick up on the maybe energy.

 

While I was scanning, our team lead launched a call to us both, and set down some guardrails. This was very helpful. Thank you team lead!!

The team lead is in South Carolina, and I am sending safety vibes his way. One of the other core team members is in Atlanta, which keeps getting mentioned explicitly in all the warnings and alerts. He does not, in fact have a generator (I asked, because of course I did), and he expects that he’ll be without power much of the day tomorrow.

 

Schools are closed here in my part of  Virginia. We are expecting a lot of rain (forecast is now nearly six inches, and depending on the track it could climb higher), and a lot of wind, with gusts in the 60-70mph range in the latest model. Okay, Universe.

 

Around lunchtime I rescheduled my dentist appointment mostly so I could continue working with the difficult programmer. My head was still dicey, but maxalt is a blessing, and it was doing everything it could to help. Around 4 I was starting to feel human and there was a break in the rain, so I ducked out to pick up the farm share and got some marinara, extra apples, fresh hummus, anther batch of local applesauce, and some bagel chips.

 

I made a kale salad when I got home and ate it while I finished up the day’s work and moved on to most of tomorrow’s work as well. There’s a better than even chance that I’ll be without power or internet or both at least some point tomorrow, and I don’t want to be caught empty-handed for my deliverables. This also frees up my day tomorrow for working with the difficult programmer to make sure his release package has all the non-code things that are also required and that he never seems to do. He is a big fan of saying “oh, hehe, OtherPerson always used to do that,” well yes, but that’s because it has to be done and he hadn’t done it and he made it so long and difficult a conversation that it was always simplest to do it ourselves and not talk to him. I don’t plan on taking that approach, and now I’ve carved out the space to make sure I can have a meeting with him and walk him through doing it himself and explain that this is required for every single release or that it won’t be promoted to production (in which case he would be fired, not anyone else). 

 

I made some toast with butter and honey — the loaf of bread this week is an amazing five grain — and poured a large glass of milk, and by the time I was done with the work and the toast, I was pretty sure I was the luckiest girl in Roanoke. There is something about toast that is restorative to my spirit.

 

My head is also much better than it has been all day, at long last.

I could read some Dewey, but I think I’ll just simmer a chicken breast and do a load of laundry and watch an episode while the rain pours down.

It’s a good night for nothing much and an early bedtime.

[Heidi]

For you metric folks:

Hurricane force winds (120+ KPH) are extending about 100km out from the center of the storm, and tropical storm force winds (64-119 KPH) extend just over 500km out from the center. This thing is huge, and it’s currently rolling through the gulf with 218KPH winds, traveling NW towards land at 37KPH, which is fast enough that it will still be a hurricane 300km after it makes landfall.

[RES]

We had 50mph winds and gusting above here about 30 min outside Atlanta, I am thankful for solar panels and backup battery today, even though I did not lose power in all of that.

Hope your teammate faired well in the storm.

[Heidi]

2 hours ago, RES said:

We had 50mph winds and gusting above here about 30 min outside Atlanta, I am thankful for solar panels and backup battery today, even though I did not lose power in all of that.

Hope your teammate faired well in the storm.

He seems to have, yes.

Glad you and he and everyone else are all well enough, and hooray for solar panels!

 

Heidi took a hit from the .303 Bookworm and felt the world spin and grow dark. Her ears rang and nothing made sense. She fumbled in her small satchel for a Maxalt potion and her flask of tea, swallowed, and laid down in a patch of moss until the storm passed, however long that might take.

 

The storm unleashed some serious TBI effects, with a tornado coming through and messing with the atmospheric pressure, which also messes with my head. It was a long night, friends, and I’m glad I have Maxalt and a safe sturdy building

 

This morning I was still tender and dicey, and obviously haven’t walked. I did the work things, and all of my appointments were canceled as of yesterday, a bit of Wisdom on my part, since we got a national weather service alert on our phones (that everyone heard during the meeting, which was super embarrassing and also hilarious) that we were about to encounter extremely dangerous flash floods and should stay inside wherever we were unless we were “fleeing.” The NWS is making no bones about the dangers in this, and it’s adorable, but also I’m glad. I’ve never heard them use terms like “unsurvivable” before, and it was warranted (for the storm surge in Florida). There was a very goth-metal moment when an Emergency Services account tweeted that anyone who was ignoring the mandatory evacuation order should “write your name and emergency contact information on your arm or leg with a permanent marker so we can identify you and contact your families.” (Bold in the original). I am collecting moments of real life that I am using in an as-yet-unspecified apocalypse novel, and this is definitely going in.

 

I was up most of the night until, finally, I wasn’t, and I slept well. Thank you pharmacy. I got up and did some domestic things while the kettle heated for tea: unloading the dishwasher, loading the dishwasher, putting away the produce from yesterday’s farm share, which somehow I had managed to get into the kitchen and not actually put away. Okay, Universe, I hear you. 

 

The work meetings were a lot, and I did them.

The house is clean.

My homework is done enough.

My appointments can all wait until next week.

 

I think I’m not good for much other than a cup of tea and a nap. 

❤️ 

 

[Artemis Prime]

I'm glad you weathered the storm (literally and figuratively) and were able to move your appointments to give yourself the rest you need.

 

11 minutes ago, Heidi said:

write your name and emergency contact information on your arm or leg with a permanent marker so we can identify you and contact your families.

That is very apocalyptic.

[Heidi]

10 minutes ago, Artemis Prime said:

I'm glad you weathered the storm (literally and figuratively) and were able to move your appointments to give yourself the rest you need.

 

That is very apocalyptic.

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