[Heidi]

It’s the (official) last day of the challenge, so I’m reflecting on how I want to measure things going forward.

 

What is the right level of balance for walking, for instance? I kind of want to build in two days a week that are Quiet Rest Days: days that don’t have any must-do items and that are meant for just lazing around, resting up. So that leaves five days of activity, so maybe a goal of 3-5 gym days? Maybe it’s more about the activity (walking into the gym is the success; whatever I do inside is grand) than the steps? I don’t know, but this sort of feels right.

 

Cantrips definitely feels right, tracking basic tasks at a point each, but I don’t have a specific set of daily tasks. I think I’ll go with a binary “putting the house to bed” each evening, in the same way I have a “walked into the gym” binary check.  Same with the debt payments in the. Financial Freedom Fight. I set out a plan earlier in the year, and it’s kind of boring and humdrum to simply go along and do that, but also it’s working, so I think I’ll just keep that up. Financial Freedom also entails NOT buying a bunch of things, so I’ll probably award a weekly Willpower check for how I did on this.

 

I’m pretty pleased overall with how well I’ve been eating, and a lot of that is from the Wisdom of signing up for the farm share and then the willpower to make use of what’s in the bag each week. This has really helped me boost my fiber and nutrients, and also lowered my weekly expenses since the farm share is already paid for. I definitely want to continue leaning in to eating at least twice a day, and making things for the fridge that are wholesome and supportive. I like having a batch of apples and pears in the house each week to turn into sauce, so I’d like to budget for supplementing the fruit as needed as autumn continues.

 

I’m not really sure how to track the Bookworm things. This challenge I gave myself 10 points if I needed to cast a spell and did, and I guess Il’l continue that. It feels odd since it’s not an achievement, exactly, but it is participating with my disability wherever and however it shows up, and that has been a difficult balance to find. I’d like to continue. 

 

Reading reading and more reading. Philosophy reading gets 20 points, and personal reading gets 10. 

Out and about social things get 20 points, and I am glad I started tracking these. When I see a week with 100 points, or a day that has 80 crammed into 24 hours, it highlights that I’m going to need a rest day (or two). It also helps me understand when I’m at the maximum for a day and I am more willing to say I’m not available. Football games wrap up the regular season next challenge (we’ll see how much of the playoffs we end up attending), and Belles & Chimes will be close to done as well. I’m definitely looking forward to having Monday and Friday nights back. Given the social events, it might be wise to give myself grace about not going to Zazen at the Zendo next challenge, but I do know that I feel more peaceful and restored when I attend, so we’ll see where that goes.

 

?

[Artemis Prime]

21 minutes ago, Heidi said:

It feels odd since it’s not an achievement,

I would say that achievements are, in general, good things, but not all good things are achievements. I think it is worth recognizing finding balance, whatever that looks like.

[Heidi]

18 hours ago, Artemis Prime said:

I would say that achievements are, in general, good things, but not all good things are achievements. I think it is worth recognizing finding balance, whatever that looks like.

Recognizing the balance work is important, agreed.

Maybe that is the achievement ?‍♂️

 

For the coming challenge I'm opening up my dogsitting calendar again.

Needs must.

 

It took forever to wake up and get going this morning, and it would have been very easy to give in to the reasons,  but we've been here before and I just yawned at them while I put my trainers on and headed put the door. I walked the long way, and did a few more turns around the track once inside the gym. I think this morning's walk was only a half-mile, but I knew that the clock would dictacte a shorter walk this morning. The steam room and sauna were a blessing, as ever. I sweat out a lot of the anxiety that had accumulated last week and I felt centered as I headed back to the Loft to log in. This felt solid and I like it.

 

❤️ 

[Heidi]

Dropping Random notes here as a white board:

• Exploration: Average daily distance this challenge: 2.27 miles -- Solid result. Will definitely continue tracking distance, but will do it by awarding 1 point for every 1000 steps logged before noon; I discovered that the steps before noon seem to make the most difference in how I feel the rest of the day. Instead of awarding a straight point for every mile walked, next challenge I want to incentivize distance, so I'll award 10 points when I hit mile 2 in a day, and 20 points awarded when I hit mile three, since it's a stretch goal.
• Social: Each social event was worth 20 points, and I had an average of 14.29 points per day this challenge. That's probably too much. I'd like to keep it at 2-3 per week so that I can prioritize rest. Also, I've opened up the dogsitting calendar again, so each new-clinet meet & greet is a social event and I need to hold space for that. The good news is that I was able to do all the social things on my calendar even when I felt depleted, and I'm learning to be able to estimate introvert-recovery periods more effectively. I feel like I'm in a much better space for this than I was in Spring or Summer, and this was the goal.
• Gym: binary award of 10 points for walking in the door. Any time I show up I do the good work, so this is solid and I'll take it forward. Average of 5.14 points per day, which is great, actually. I would have thought it was lower given that most weeks I only showed up 2-3 times. I'd like to set a minimum expectation of 2 visits per week, with a stretch goal of 5 (every weekday). The sauna before work does an amazing job of helping smooth everything out. N.B.: If I have a dogsitting appointment, I can still do the gym in the morning as normal, and then work from the Loft until lunchtime when I go back to the dog house. This is the plan going forward, and I hope it helps. I think not having the gym in the mornings was a primary factor in the dogsitting appintments being so difficult over the Spring and Summer.
• Cantrips: daily tasks that need to be done and help keep my world on track. Average of 3.6 points per day, and this is solid. Logging this helped me see that I'm doing fine over the long haul, even though sometimes I have days of feeling wiped out or needing a recovery period. I'll be carrying this forward. I also noticed that there are a few tasks that have an outsized impact on my peace of mind: making my bed in the morning, cleaning the kitchen before going to bed, and there was a third thing that escapes me just now. These might need to get their own track, or need to be awarded five points each (or both) so that I can see how I'm doing over the course of the next challenge. I want to make the little things that help more visible. 
• Druid Things are my weekly tasks: returning the compost pail; picking up the farm share; acupuncture; massage; Zazen; housekeeping. 20 each. I ended up with a daily average of 24 points, which is a lot, actually. I'd like to see how I can reduce this to no more than 5 things a week max, perferably 3 so that I still have the room to adjust as needed without wrecking everything.  I definitely think that sitting Zazen is probably out for the coming challenge -- it fell by the wayside halfway through, and as much as I love the Zen community I don't feel like I can commit to being available in the evenings just yet while I still have Pinball League and Band Boosters taking up so much evening time on other days. We'll see what shakes out.
• Philosophy: 20 points for each reading or meeting with one of my advisors. Weekly average this challenge of 84 points was a huge surprise, since I mostly felt like I was ignoring this altogether. This is good visibility. I'll definitely be continuing the Philosophy readings with James going forward, and there are a couple meetings scheduled with advisors, so I don't think I'll be stretching this goal; it's good where it is. I will be adding in an acknowledgement of personal reading, since I picked that up again and it seemed to help keep my Philosophy muscles limber.
• Medical and Debt payments weren't tracked but need to be. I have a tedious list I've been plodding through and I need to stay visibile with my consistency. 20 points for each payment, and I actually did more than the list, so this is excellent.
• Health appointments weren't originally in the tracking matrix, and I need to add them. They take a huge amount of time and energy and management. I'll be separating them out going forward. 20 points each. Even with having to cancel several appoitments over the challenge, I ended up averaging three medical appointments a week. Ooof, that's a lot.
• Stamina: I'm not really sure how to track this, still. Overall I feel that I've come back from a low point, and that the regular excercise, sauna, and rest have helped boost this. Maybe I just go ahead and give myself 10 points for every steam room visit, since that seems to be key. 

 

[Mistr]

Excellent job this challenge!

 

I like seeing your reflections on what worked, what didn't and what you want to change for the next cycle.

[Heidi]

20 hours ago, Mistr said:

Excellent job this challenge!

 

I like seeing your reflections on what worked, what didn't and what you want to change for the next cycle.

Thank you.

❤️

 

Woke up with a bit of a pinball hangover this morning, even though I didn't play. That's probably down to the neuro-audiologist assessment yesterday afternoon more than anything else, but I had already built in a post-pinball recovery day, so this is good and helpful and wise.

It took a fair amount of Rebalancing Level 3 -- just sitting and looking at the ceiling / window  to log in -- I hadn't even made tea yet. Okay, so that's the way this morning is going to be. I can do a Gentle Morning and let the day just happen as it will. 

 

I made tea and logged in, and took a Maxalt potion. Obviously no walking or gym. I did manage to scroll through some job postings before work, and applied to a few. This is good. This is the Way.

The new forums won't open for a bit, so here's the breakdown of activities for the week, with a nod to goals. It's a very gentle week, by design, which is kind of perfect for a Zero Week. It's also a nice model for the "reduced activities" default schedule that I'm aiming for.

 

Tuesday- Recovery Day. Might do a steam room and sauna session after work since there's nothing else that needs doing other than rest. Check in with current produce and fridge items for composting as needed. Add spent tea leaves to compost pail. Set compost pail out for pickup. Might read in the evening, might just rest.

Wednesday - Walk & Sauna goal in the morning. Project goals at work. Meeting with Librarian Shannon at lunch to discuss practicums and internships for library school. I'm scheduled for a massage in the afternoon, and I really need it, but I might have to rethink this. The company got bought and the new company is not honoring the remaining package visits purchased by the previous company. This means that I would have to pay for the massages that I had already purchased through the end of the year, and it's making me nervous financially. I think I'll probably go, but man, this is a rough spot, especially after paying for the audiology assessment yesterday.  Philosophy reading in the evening.

Thursday-Walk & Sauna goal in the morning, especially important given the  late lunch meeting with a friend to discuss job opportunities (send prayers, please). Farm Share pickup, which means that I'd like to make sure the current store of fruits and vegetables is picked over and sorted. Philosophy reading in the evening

Friday- Walk & Sauna goal in the morning. Project delivery at work. Therapy at lunch. Acupuncture in the afternoon. Housekeeping day. Milk Delivery. Reading or resting in the evening.

Saturday - Possible Walk & Sauna in the morning. Day with Georgia. Reading or resting in the evening.

Sunday - Fall Festival with Georgia. Reading or resting in the evening.

 

 

[Ranger Hal]

3 hours ago, Heidi said:

I'm scheduled for a massage in the afternoon, and I really need it, but I might have to rethink this. The company got bought and the new company is not honoring the remaining package visits purchased by the previous company. This means that I would have to pay for the massages that I had already purchased through the end of the year, and it's making me nervous financially. I think I'll probably go, but man, this is a rough spot, especially after paying for the audiology assessment yesterday. 

Not cool, new company.

[Heidi]

13 minutes ago, Ranger Hal said:

Not cool, new company.

Not cool, indeed. 

 

I called the bank and they said that since I made a purchase and 0% of the services purchased were delivered, that I could come in and file a dispute. I'll be doing that today. The dispute will then be sent to the New Company, and they will be expected to refund the money in full, and if they want to undertake legal matters to get the refunded money from Old Company, they will have to do that themselves. Fingers crossed that this happens according to plan.  It'll take a few weeks, of course, but at least I'll get my money back. I'll be dropping by on my way to the massage appointment tomorrow afternoon.

[Artemis Prime]

That sounds like a pain, but I'm glad there's a way for you to get your money back.

[Mistr]

I'm glad there is a way to get your money back. What a pain!

 

I would be wary about signing up for more massages with the new company. If they are not good about honoring commitments, that is likely to show up in other dealings too.

[Heidi]

30 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I'm glad there is a way to get your money back. What a pain!

 

I would be wary about signing up for more massages with the new company. If they are not good about honoring commitments, that is likely to show up in other dealings too.

Honestly this is my whole feeling about the situation, and I'm on the fence about continuing, even though the therapist (who has nothing to do with this whatsoever) is amazing. 

I'm not buying any advance services, for certain, and you are a good friend to point this out. This is Wisdom.

2 hours ago, Artemis Prime said:

That sounds like a pain, but I'm glad there's a way for you to get your money back.

It's still not a sure bet, and this whole thing has left me feeling very swindled, to be honest.

[Ranger Hal]

18 minutes ago, Heidi said:

It's still not a sure bet, and this whole thing has left me feeling very swindled, to be honest.

Yeah, there are so many other ways they could have handled this that would be better. I mean, if they said it was a cash flow problem and they needed you to pay for half of each session, but they were increasing your number of half paid sessions to make up for it, you would probably be understanding and willing to work with them.

[Sovalis]

Hi Fren. 

 

I am caught up again. Sorry for being away so much. I am happy to have immersed myself in your thread catching up. I am proud of the work and reflecting you are doing, and all of the wisdom and self-care you are showing yourself. Your self awareness is awe inspiring as usual. I am crossing my fingers and toes for more stability at work and less Bookworm incidents and more of everything good, nourishing, and sustaining. Sending love. ❤️ 

[Heidi]

49 minutes ago, Sovalis said:

Hi Fren. 

 

I am caught up again. Sorry for being away so much. I am happy to have immersed myself in your thread catching up. I am proud of the work and reflecting you are doing, and all of the wisdom and self-care you are showing yourself. Your self awareness is awe inspiring as usual. I am crossing my fingers and toes for more stability at work and less Bookworm incidents and more of everything good, nourishing, and sustaining. Sending love. ❤️ 

No apologies needed, and welcome back, Friend!

❤️ 

[Heidi]

Just a quick note before I dash off to a meeting.

No gym last night or this morning.

Slept early and well, and didn't wake up until late. I think it was needed, and then a quiet slow morning after that until I logged in. This is the Way, at least for right now.

 

Work is work, and I'm spending the day putting together a lot of ducumentation in preparation for a meeting on Friday morning that will likely end up being a bit of a big deal. Okay, Universe, thank you.

Off to meet with Librarian Shannon over lunch.

❤️ 

 

[Heidi]

19 hours ago, Ranger Hal said:

Yeah, there are so many other ways they could have handled this that would be better. I mean, if they said it was a cash flow problem and they needed you to pay for half of each session, but they were increasing your number of half paid sessions to make up for it, you would probably be understanding and willing to work with them.

You are so right, and I took this with me as I fell asleep last night.

I woke up and decided to cancel the appointment until things feel more trustworthy. I just don't have it in me to ask myself to relax for a treatment while feeling taken advantage of. This is the real damage that has been done, of course, but here we are. I texted the massage therapist to let him know, and he was understanding but also started discussing that it's the Old Company's fault not the New Company, and I didn't have the spoons for that. All told, I think it was a sign that I was on the right track to cancel until things settle down a bit.

 

I managed to get 15 minutes of my team lead's very scarce time and talk about the documents I'm putting together for the coming meeting. This was very helpful and very encouraging.

The meeting with Librarian Shannon was encouraging. We discussed the program needs and guardrails for a practicum, and she's brilliant as ever. One of the things I like so much about her is that she and I are aligned on what constitutes "moving parts," and we have a similar alignment on what constitutes "a good answer."  This might sound like a small deal, but it has a huge impact for this Nerd. After the meeting, I sent some contact things and we'll see where it all goes.

 

Overall, I'm a bit more optimistic today than I was yesterday. Thank you Universe. I don't know that anything is actually more solid than it was yesterday, but I do feel a bit more able to face the uncertainty.

Whew. I really needed a Zero week. Perfect timing, as usual, Universe.

❤️ 

[Heidi]

Watched tonight’s episode of Agatha All Along,  and it’s getting pretty good, if you like that sort of thing (which I do). 

Also, after having watched two seasons of Heartbreaker,  I would have thought I was in a bit of a Joe Locke overdose, but in fact just the opposite is true. He’s just an amazing actor.

 

I haven’t read any of the Dewey that James and I will talk about next week, but that’s next week.

I’m mentally and emotionally spent. I hope I can recharge enough to get to the sauna tomorrow morning. There’s a lot going on tomorrow, and I really need the centering that I find in the steam room and sauna after a mile-long walk. I think I’ll be prioritizing this in the morning when I wake up, regardless of what the clock time is. I’m not going to sugar coat it: I’m nervous.

 

All will be well.

The Universe loves me and wants me to be happy.

❤️ 

[Heidi]

Quick success note: I made it to the gym this morning. A short walk (1/3 mile, doesn't really feel like it should count, but I did it so here we are) on the way to the steam room and sauna before logging in.  I feel centered and whole. This is very good.

 

I set up the dishes last night before going to bed, but -- in a classic Heidi move -- forgot to actually run the dishwasher, so I pushed Play as I launched my morning meeting.

I'm looking forward to the meeting this afternoon. Fingers crossed that it goes as well as I hope.

❤️ 

[Mistr]

Yay for getting to the sauna this morning! Just getting outside to walk there and back is a win. The longer vistas let your eyes relax. 

 

I hope the meeting goes well.

[Heidi]

56 minutes ago, Mistr said:

Yay for getting to the sauna this morning! Just getting outside to walk there and back is a win. The longer vistas let your eyes relax. 

 

I hope the meeting goes well.

Thank you for the reminder that doing it is the success.

The meeting went very well. I'm interested to see what will come of it.

This is always the way, isn't it: we put positive energy into thing (walks, meetings) and then let the Universe work its magic.

Just going to the meeting and having a positive experience feels like the win, much like the walk this morning.

❤️ 

[Heidi]

I slept so early and so long yesterday. Was asleep by 8 and then just slept like a rock until “normal” waking up time, but I still don’t feel very energetic yet. 

Might need to be a full-on rest day again.

 

Feels like  the extroversion is catching up to me, and I need some Inside-Alone days.

 

[RES]

So many responses that I don't remember what page they were on  

Boo for glasses not being correct and not honoring prior commitments of the massage place ?

Yay for connections that  may turn into potential job opportunities, and saunas ?

6 minutes ago, Heidi said:

Feels like  the extroversion is catching up to me, and I need some Inside-Alone days.

 

I feel this in my soul, those are  often necessary days ❤️

 

On 10/16/2024 at 9:57 PM, Heidi said:

All will be well.

The Universe loves me and wants me to be happy.

❤️

Yes it does, and so do I friend ❤️ 

[Heidi]

1 minute ago, RES said:

So many responses that I don't remember what page they were on  

Boo for glasses not being correct and not honoring prior commitments of the massage place ?

Yay for connections that  may turn into potential job opportunities, and saunas ?

I feel this in my soul, those are  often necessary days ❤️

 

Yes it does, and so do I friend ❤️ 

Hiyas, Friend, and thank you.

 

I just noticed that it’s now the “previous challenge,” which means the new “current challenge” forums are open.

Might make some tea and think about that for a minute.

[Heidi]

Onward!